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lynda merry
minnesota
wondering...
Interests: pictures. stories. urban. rural.
Recent Activity
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A few weeks ago, my other mom moved to a memory care home in the small town where she and my dad have lived for more than 40 years. It's in the same small town where I grew up and where my son was born. When she moved, it marked... Continue reading
Posted Oct 4, 2017 at iWonder
Thanks Mo, it really was a beautiful day...
Toggle Commented Aug 4, 2017 on go with your first plan... at iWonder
I'm glad you're here and have found something to glean from these little stories. I write because I don't want to forget how it is, and have discovered that it strikes a chord for a lot of readers. I've also learned so much from stories others have shared here. Thanks for stopping by...
Toggle Commented Aug 4, 2017 on go with your first plan... at iWonder
It was a day filled with pure joy...
Toggle Commented Aug 1, 2017 on go with your first plan... at iWonder
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For months she talked about having a family reunion. At first, it was odd to hear her say that - she had always been uncomfortable in social situations - the more people, the greater the discomfort. But we'd talk about it anyway, usually in the afternoon while we waited for... Continue reading
Posted Aug 1, 2017 at iWonder
It's a connection I never imagined she and I would ever have. I've known her for 40+ years, but in an awkward way. She was my dad's wife. They had a daughter together. A new family. We were the old family. It was as if they were acquaintances, people I knew, not my dad, stepmom and half sister. And now, I feel so lucky to have this chance. Every Wednesday I drive an hour to get to their home in the town where I grew up. It's a bonus. It holds mostly really great memories for me. I've been away for 40 years. I love everything about this...
Toggle Commented Jun 16, 2017 on the world through her eyes... at iWonder
I'm so glad you took time to share your comments. Your timing was perfect. I've been wrestling with whether or not to keep writing about my days with my other mom. I'm usually pretty quiet/private and I started to wonder if this was maybe "too much information". But I love when you said this was ..."filling an empty space of questions with some answers and possibilities"... , and so, I'll keep sharing. There have been situations where I've been in the same spot as you and never got the chance to see how it would work out. I like thinking about the possibilities of what could have been. Thank you for sharing...
Toggle Commented Jun 16, 2017 on filling the cracks... at iWonder
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Every week, I learn something new - about my other mom - about myself - about the mysteries of memory loss... Me: "what should we do today?" She: "have I shown you the house where I grew up?" Me: "yes, but I would love to do that. We could have... Continue reading
Posted Jun 16, 2017 at iWonder
I love this giant heart rock. I pass it on my way from the city to the lake. When I see it, I know I only have about 10 minutes left of a 3 hour drive. :-)
Toggle Commented Jun 15, 2017 on the big heart rock on trapper's road... at iWonder
Some day I'd like to jump the fence and lay on the rock, just to see how huge it is!
Toggle Commented Jun 12, 2017 on the big heart rock on trapper's road... at iWonder
First time I've ever seen the cows in the many years I've driven by!
Toggle Commented Jun 12, 2017 on the big heart rock on trapper's road... at iWonder
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Wednesday is mom and dad day. The past few weeks have been challenging. Our mornings go pretty well, but things change in the afternoon. She becomes confused about who I am, who dad is, where she is, why we're there. It happens in a blink - she's one person when... Continue reading
Posted Jun 8, 2017 at iWonder
Wishing you all a memory-making day filled with love and joy! 💕
Toggle Commented Jun 1, 2017 on June 1 2017 at Spirit Cloth
1 reply
Teachable moments... that's my goal. Learning to be a better listener and finding my voice so I can help, not hurt. I'll be working on this for the rest of my life.
Toggle Commented Jun 1, 2017 on bee nice... at iWonder
That's it really, isn't it? How we get from here to there.
Toggle Commented Jun 1, 2017 on I want to hear from you love mom... at iWonder
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I saved her emails and her voice mails. I even copied her Netflix movie list before I closed her account. I wanted to remember everything. And I wanted to do something with it all. But for a long time I wasn't sure what that was. Last year, I started considering... Continue reading
Posted May 31, 2017 at iWonder
The bee appeared a few weeks ago when it was still pretty chilly here. I could get really close because he was moving pretty slow. Honesty can be scarier than getting close to a bee!
Toggle Commented May 30, 2017 on bee nice... at iWonder
Honestly, I swing back and forth with this truth telling. Sometimes I get burned when I share. When that happens, I pull back for awhile. But I guess what I'm trying to do is not completely closet the tough stuff. In moments of honesty I've discovered that there are others experiencing the same hard stuff. It's such a relief to know that. That's what a support group is good for. And you're right - not everyone wants to hear what I have to say. Depending on who that is, it can be disappointing. I guess maybe that's what I was really writing about today...
Toggle Commented May 30, 2017 on bee nice... at iWonder
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...a conversation yesterday with someone close, that pivoted from a visit he had with Dad and Stepmom to a difficult conversation he had earlier with my son. I had to remind him that conversations can be unpredictable when there's a bipolar brain involved with amplified emotions. him: "wow, you manage... Continue reading
Posted May 30, 2017 at iWonder
Jude, this made me smile. All of it. It makes sense to me. happy mother's day
Toggle Commented May 15, 2017 on saying what needs to be said... at iWonder
Joan, I use Ink from the App Store. I've used others. The quality of the card is wonderful - hard card stock, glossy photo. Lots of templates to upload your photos to. $1.99 includes card with your photo and message and postage.
Toggle Commented May 14, 2017 on saying what needs to be said... at iWonder
Thanks Joan!
Toggle Commented May 14, 2017 on saying what needs to be said... at iWonder
Michelle, it's so interesting you mention photos. It sounds like you have some experience I'd be interested to hear more about. When I started my weekly visits with mom, I snapped photos on my phone and turned the best into a postcard using an app that mails it out for me. So every week she receives a postcard with a message about our day together. I just asked Dad if the postcards were ok - I wondered if she remembered or if it was confusing. I didn't want it to be upsetting. He said she loves them, even though sometimes the photos are confusing. Thank you for talking about photos here. And collage has me curious. If you can point me to some resources I'd love to learn more. Thank you!
Toggle Commented May 14, 2017 on saying what needs to be said... at iWonder
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I've been a daughter for 60 years, and a mother for 40... For most of those 40 years, I've longed for validation that I did ok with this parenting thing. I've made plenty of mistakes with no one else to blame because I've flown solo on this most of the... Continue reading
Posted May 13, 2017 at iWonder