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Madame Taunt
Los Angeles
I have an opinion on everything. Ask and ye shall receive.
Interests: Movies, things that are good, more movies, Metallica, beauty, truth
Recent Activity
Holding court at the MockMasters of the Universe Headquarters can get pretty hectic, so we charged Cabana Boy Kevin with the menial task of organizing our extensive movie collection just so we could see him sweat. It was while he was rummaging amongst the vast titles of greatness, I was asked about a particular one that he had not previously heard of let alone seen. After doling out 50 lashes using Madame vonTaunt’s whip, the following questions arose: 1) Do we have any more tequila?; 2) Who else hasn’t seen this gem?; 3) Where’s the fucking tequila?; 4) Besides This... Continue reading
Posted 2 hours ago at The Mockingbirds
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There is a time for modesty and there is time for pride and it is always time for champagne. When we read about the verdict declaring "Blurred Lines" unoriginal theft, we popped a cork and got our egotism on. Sure, the lawyers and ordinary citizens doing their civic duty played a part, and perhaps even some boundaries (ethical, legal, whatever) were softened* in the pursuit of sweet, sweet righteousness but that it is not the point. The point is it was us, The Birds of Mock, who got the balls of justice rolling. We took musical travesties, destroyed them and... Continue reading
Posted 2 days ago at The Mockingbirds
Posted 2 days ago at The Mockingbirds
They're fun*, funny, well-written and have great action and actors. Whatever you think of his beliefs, Tom Cruise is one of our best movie stars. (They could've given Mr. Pegg a better name than Benji, though.) *The second one is a sad Notorious rip off and I don't count it. Continue reading
Posted 2 days ago at The Mockingbirds
"Women have been called queens for a long time, but the kingdom given them isn't worth ruling." -Louisa May Alcott Continue reading
Posted 4 days ago at The Mockingbirds
It's International Day of Happiness! Take the day to celebrate your happiness, your loved ones' happiness, the happiness of others, of the world. THE WORLD! Everyone is included in this our happiest day where we celebrate babies and puppies and flowers and shiny things and sugar and songs about being happy and maybe clapping and wearing figure skating outfits. At least it's only one day. The Mockingbirds Continue reading
Posted 7 days ago at The Mockingbirds
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Everything you need to know in life you can learn from Metallica. They work hard, they succeed, they have great hair, and they can swim1. They also explore the dehumanization and oppression of society in general, and in the justice system specifically, with equal parts rage and resignation. There is significantly more rage but there is also enough pragmatism to inform the songs and give them solemnity and sadness. I discovered the band at the age where I still only learned about these horrors in books and in school, but this was obviously much more fun. I followed them in... Continue reading
Posted 7 days ago at The Mockingbirds
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The band the Scorpions has been around since 1965. That just seems like a really long time. Gut gemacht! Continue reading
Posted Mar 18, 2015 at The Mockingbirds
"Do not fear death so much but rather the inadequate life." -Bertolt Brecht Continue reading
Posted Mar 16, 2015 at The Mockingbirds
Another day, another superstition, another date on which we should fear for our mortal selves, our immortal souls, and wayward axes whilst boinking a camp counselor in the woods. But why should we fear Friday the 13th when every day is a horror show of hopelessness, injustice, chili dogs, and Matthew McConaughney talking to a bull. Existentialism never looked so lame, The Mockingbirds Continue reading
Posted Mar 13, 2015 at The Mockingbirds
Number 2: "It Might Be You" by Stephen Bishop Tootsie is a farce. In the best way possible. Its premise is Dustin Hoffman poses as a woman so he can be on a soap opera. Sure, his character learns to be a better person, and his misogynistic attitudes are moderated, but it's mostly just Dustin Hoffman in drag. And the plot of the film is, deliberately, more unbelievable than the soap the main character joins. Charles Durning falls in love with Dustin Hoffman's lady alter ego. At the same time, his daughter, played by Jessica Lange, falls in love with... Continue reading
Posted Mar 11, 2015 at The Mockingbirds
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Ted Knight played the cop guarding Norman/Norma Bates at the end of Psycho. Nice hat. Continue reading
Posted Mar 11, 2015 at The Mockingbirds
Number 4: "I Don't Want To Miss a Thing" by Aerosmith Here's a thing: Aerosmith used to be cool. I'm old and I remember this. They were cool in that dirty, scuzzy, don't-give-a-fuck-let's-rock kind of way. Heroin is not cool, but there was still this element of danger separate from that. They then reinvented themselves into a sort of pop rock band in the '80s, adapting to MTV slightly less adeptly than ZZ Top but building off that momentum with some pretty great songs with some really great videos in the '90s. (Laugh, but be-flanneled Alicia Silverstone flipping off Stephen... Continue reading
Posted Mar 9, 2015 at The Mockingbirds
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"Some people say they feel very small when they think about space. I felt more expansive, very connected to the universe." -Mae Jemison Continue reading
Posted Mar 9, 2015 at The Mockingbirds
Raising Arizona released on this day in 1987. Is it the best film ever made? No, it only ranks in the top ten. Round is funny, The Mockingbirds Continue reading
Posted Mar 6, 2015 at The Mockingbirds
Number 5: Arthur's Theme (Best That You Can Do) by Christopher Cross Dollfaces, your Countess has never seen Arthur. Here is what I know about it: a drunk, rich dude meets Liza Minnelli and falls in love. That's not the worst premise, but it isn't interesting enough OR even DUMB enough to make me watch it at this point in my life. But the theme song and I have a history. It's that time in the Crimes Against Humanity series when your Countess gets a song that I don't hate. Well, I do hate it, it's a ridiculous song, but...okay,... Continue reading
Posted Mar 6, 2015 at The Mockingbirds
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If there is one thing about me that you need to know it's that I'm slow. Not just physically slow but mentally as well. I'll arrive at a conclusion days, months, years after the average human does. It matches my Midwestern accent and stupid shoes and that's nice, but I have to say that, deep down, it hurts. Case in point: There were a few horrifying moments yesterday when we thought that Harrison Ford was critically injured, or worse, in a plane crash, and I had the thought, "Harrison Ford has never died on screen."* There's an irony here given... Continue reading
Posted Mar 6, 2015 at The Mockingbirds
Number 6: "(Everything I Do) I Do It For You" by Bryan Adams I don't even know how to define Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves, and not just because I have never put myself through the misery of actually watching it all the way through. Is it an historical drama? Fantasy? Action/adventure? Tragicomedy? (Too easy?) I am equally unable to take a stance on whether there is any credible evidence that Robin Hood even existed. Regardless of whether it is about man or myth, or what genre it should be considered, I think we can all agree that Robin Hood:... Continue reading
Posted Mar 5, 2015 at The Mockingbirds
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Mads Mikkelsen has a brother named Lars*. They both have those cheekbones and act. *This Lars is about twice the height of Metalli-Lars. Who knew that was even possible! Continue reading
Posted Mar 4, 2015 at The Mockingbirds
Number 8: "Meet Me Halfway" by Kenny Loggins I'm disappointed in myself. I've never seen Sylvester Stallone's arm wrestling opus Over the Top. I know not of its thrills and pathos and sweat and forearm close-ups. But you know who I'm more disappointed in? Kenny Loggins. I feel like he's one of those celebrities I'm supposed to make fun of but I just can't. Dude wrote some pretty great tunes. They were fun, they were funny (in a laugh with, not at kind of way) and they were memorable. They've been absorbed into our culture and you can think you... Continue reading
Posted Mar 3, 2015 at The Mockingbirds
Number 9: "Addams Groove" by MC Hammer, Addams Family Values Lovelies, your Countess is pondering two things right now: 1) How the hell is it March already? and 2) Is The Addams Family still on TV somewhere? I can't say I was ever a fan of the show. I would watch it, but I certainly never went out of my way to do so. This and The Munsters definitely go on my list of shows watched for singing/dancing the theme song and switching channels. As far as the movie based on a show I cared little about, I know I... Continue reading
Posted Mar 2, 2015 at The Mockingbirds
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"There is nothing in the dark that isn't there when the lights are on." -Rod Serling Continue reading
Posted Mar 2, 2015 at The Mockingbirds
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A funny thing about modern digital life is how people embrace a twisted version of impermanence- they expect their loudest scream to fade out the quickest. Like a Katy Perry song. What's funny is that's why they do it. All of these screams are broadcasted to create an image, a self, but what's left is nothing. You do some searching and you find some smoke, but you won't find a legacy. You won't find a brilliant, human portrayal of an iconic character, or delightful Hobbit songs, or words of wisdom for everyone to enjoy, or a collaboration with The Bangles... Continue reading
Posted Feb 27, 2015 at The Mockingbirds
No. 10 "Push It to the Limit" by Paul Engemann For the first time since we started the Crimes Against Humanity series, I have been assigned a song that I have never heard nor heard of before. This is kind of surprising because even though I have never seen Scarface, I am quite familiar with '80s movie themes, even the cheesy ones (I suppose one might argue that cheesy is the only kind of movie theme song produced during the era). I have a theory, though. This is a legitimately bad song, to be sure, particularly the backup vocals, but,... Continue reading
Posted Feb 27, 2015 at The Mockingbirds