Madame Taunt’s Favorites

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In my experience, a male stranger commenting on your tits is almost always about power. I say "almost always" because on the Internet, when you say "always" someone almost always (see what I did there?) comes up with an unlikely... Continue »
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photo by Lisa Fancher all rights reserved wm3.org Continue »
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It's the weekend again already and it's my turn to take to the streets and spread the word of the Mock before you go spending your hard-earned cash on any celluloid disasters. In keeping with your "Live by the Mock, Die by the Mock" gospel, you've no doubt already enjoyed Madame Taunt's inaugural edition of this weekly service, but in case you missed it, you should just punch yourself in the face and go hit the archive button over there on your left. SEE: Conan O'Brien Can't Stop With such a limited release, this film will surely make it to... Continue »
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I read a lot. It's part of my beliefs. Unfortunately, 95% of what I encounter is unreadable. As in, unreadable in its stupidity, meaninglessness and pointlessness. I attribute this directly to the fact that there is no place in this world for the woman with 105 IQ. Because I complain a lot about what I have to read for this blog, and because I can never do enough for The Madame, I have been charged with writing a post about the stupidest thing I read in the last seven days. The hardest part will be picking only one winner every... Continue »
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Who are we? Where do we come from? What is our purpose? The greatest minds of ancient and modern history have pondered these questions, and while they produced volumes of thought-provoking and profound material, we figured, what the fuck: we’re getting into the metaphysics business. Over the next few weeks, we’ll be debating the existence of a higher power (or powers) and how it relates to the human condition. There will be much pontificating, light blasphemy and high levels of entertainment as we attempt to find the meaning of life or maybe a universal truth or perhaps a little light... Continue »
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There is going to be a Royal Wedding. Starring everybody, and me! Okay, I won’t be playing a principal role in the spectacle, but I will be in attendance along with the other ‘Birds. As The Countess mentioned, I had to invoke my artful oratorical skills to convince the others to accompany me, and please excuse me if I decline to complain about it like the rest of them. It is our duty to attend, by virtue of our birthright and our ability to do so. I am sorry the others didn’t see things the same way until I bored... Continue »
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I read a lot. It's part of my beliefs. Unfortunately, 95% of what I encounter is unreadable. As in, unreadable in its stupidity, meaninglessness and pointlessness. I attribute this directly to the fact that there is no place in this world for the woman with 105 IQ. I think it was Plato who once wrote (and I am paraphrasing ever so slightly) that the words of a stupid person, once written down, are like bastard children: devoid of meaning without the speaker who has abandoned them. The metaphor is quite intricate and goes on for pages. My philosophy with respect... Continue »
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It takes so little to make me happy. P.S. It's so delightful to see a trailer I don't have to make fun of, delightful like Daniel Craig without a shirt. Continue »
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I read a lot. It's part of my beliefs. Unfortunately, 95% of what I encounter is unreadable. As in, unreadable in its stupidity, meaninglessness and pointlessness. I attribute this directly to the fact that there is no place in this world for the woman with 105 IQ. I think it was Plato who once wrote (and I am paraphrasing ever so slightly) that the words of a stupid person, once written down, are like bastard children: devoid of meaning without the speaker who has abandoned them. The metaphor is quite intricate and goes on for pages. My philosophy with respect... Continue »
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Sweet peas, Your Countess hath returneth-ed (or whatever) and is ready to give out the most pertinent info on the last what seems like 25 episodes of the Race. It will be on your final. In other news, the producers have thrown just about every reality show trick in the book at us this season: among them, bringing back an old contestant (twice!), eliminating no one, giving outrageous makeovers to jocks. What will they have left for season four, I ask? And, they have been stuck with the same five girls for three weeks!! I like a sense of progression... Continue »
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I read a lot. It's part of my beliefs. Unfortunately, 95% of what I encounter is unreadable. As in, unreadable in its stupidity, meaninglessness and pointlessness. I attribute this directly to the fact that there is no place in this world for the woman with 105 IQ. I think it was Plato who once wrote (and I am paraphrasing ever so slightly) that the words of a stupid person, once written down, are like bastard children: devoid of meaning without the speaker who has abandoned them. The metaphor is quite intricate and goes on for pages. My philosophy with respect... Continue »
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I rarely pay attention to any category at the Oscars having to do with documentaries. I only remember one winner: she was (borderline) manic about the evils of GE and got escorted off the stage within in a matter of seconds of receiving her award. Funny, but I am not entirely sure that GE was even the subject matter of her documentary. My point is that the documentary category is, primarily, pointless. That being said, I am most interested in the inclusion of Exit Through the Gift Shop as one of this year's nominees. I shan't mock the film itself,... Continue »
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Greetings and Salutations, millions of Mockingbird readers! As you may have noticed, I have been absent from this fine blog as of late. Actually as of before late. It has been a really long time. It's not that I haven't been here at Casa Mockingbird, toiling away like usual. It's just that I am a perfectionist (which I use to justify my severe elitism and chronic fascist sympathies). Prior to submission of a post to The Madame for review and approval, I must ensure that it has been properly researched, drafted, reviewed and revised. It is a time consuming but... Continue »
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Dear Dollfaces, This week, our queens camped it up in Drag Queens in Outer Space: From Earth to Uranus and its sequel Drag Queens in Outer Space: Return to Uranus. Your Countess would watch both of those movies in a heartbeat. Did anyone else absolutely love knowing that you can put a prop space gun in a drag queen’s hands and she’ll still make gun noises like a six year old? Ahh, the simple pleasures. Speaking of pleasures, will Raja be wearing a covetable hat every episode, because I, too, need a hat that has WORK! in giant acrylic letters.... Continue »
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My dears, If there is one thing Your Countess knows, it’s how to be beautifully confident. While my fellow Mavens of Mock and I do our best to impart our fantasticality to you via los interwebos, there is no better place on television to learn to be a lady than RuPaul’s Drag Race. Every week on LOGO, these ladyboys are dropping knowledge (and eyelashes) left and right and I’ll be here (knee deep in sequins and trying on wigs) to pass the sparkly morsels on for your pleasure. The opening extravaganza gave us queens on trampolines (brilliant!), a fantastic Cyclops... Continue »
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Dear little lambs, I know, I know, my loves. It’s been eons since my wisdom has shone upon your precious, upturned faces. Your Countess was in a terrible, terrible accident where I watched an episode of Jersey Shore. Worst day of my life. My brain shriveled up and curled itself into a protective ball. I could only communicate through fist pumps. I wore frosty eye shadow. The horror, children. The horror! Things were dark here at Casa Mockingbird until The Baroness came up with the nifty idea to put me on an IV drip of Svedka, which she determined must... Continue »
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(I apologize for the subtitles, but I was unable to find a working version of this clip without them. Ironically.) Continue »
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25 years ago I spent a semester in London studying art and literature and coming out - it was an incredible time in my life, one I will never forget. I went back a few months after I graduated and... Continue »
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We try, dear readers. We try so very hard. We try to point out, as a public service, the hideous, the laughable and the seriously scary that exist in the world. And for the most part we have been fairly successful. We’ve covered television, music, Courteney Cox, weaves, hippies, and other things that the vodka has erased from our minds and we are exhausted. We want a break, perhaps in the form of a pleasant trip to the cinema, complete with Raisinettes and flasks of tequila (variety, you see). But no. This is what Hollywood has to offer: Sex and... Continue »
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Ducklings, Project Runway, Season 7 is here. Your Countess finds herself unable to put exclamation points after the previous statement for several reasons. First, last season’s blahness is still fresh on my mind and the price my hair had to pay still stings a bit. Secondly, I don’t know about you but I saw absolutely NO advertisements for when this new season was going to start. I knew it would be sometime in January but no actual date. Last season, Lifetime put a lot of ad muscle into letting the whole world know that Project Runway had moved to its... Continue »
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