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Amanda P. Westmont
Vancouver, WA
Recent Activity
Today is Genoa's tenth birthday and I was totally okay with that until I sat down to write this post and then immediately burst into tears. Finding that picture didn't help, obviously. That adorable baby is TEN. I had a... Continue reading
Posted May 23, 2016 at Mandajuice
For the first time in almost six years, I'm officially living alone again; just me, my two kids and our tiny dog in this giant house. I re-signed the lease in my own name - JUST ME - a few... Continue reading
Posted Apr 24, 2016 at Mandajuice
Every year on my birthday, I've been taking a picture of my clean, naked face so I can document what my own natural aging process looks like. I started at 30, so now I've got a decade worth of me... Continue reading
Posted Apr 7, 2016 at Mandajuice
About a month ago, I sent a message to a cute bald guy on OK Cupid because I really liked his writing. He responded very sweetly that he liked mine, too, because he was a blog reader. It was hands-down... Continue reading
Posted Feb 14, 2016 at Mandajuice
1. What did you do in 2015 that you’d never done before? Attended a sibling's wedding! My brother had a beautiful 3-day Indian wedding. I got to wear a Sari. I also got to see David Sedaris and Patton Oswalt... Continue reading
Posted Jan 5, 2016 at Mandajuice
I decided to take off the first week of the year, so I found us this amazing house on AirBnB and it’s right on the beach, literally IN the sand, less than 50 yards from the waves. I love the... Continue reading
Posted Jan 4, 2016 at Mandajuice
Patrick and I are in the midst of a major paradigm shift in our relationship - we are still very much in love and still very much plan to stay partners, we're just going to do it from separate hobbit... Continue reading
Posted Dec 29, 2015 at Mandajuice
I'm in the middle of writing a pretty serious post regarding happiness and body weight. A post I hope will help more people than it will pain me to write. But my family is being cyber-harassed. AGAIN. I have no... Continue reading
Posted Dec 7, 2015 at Mandajuice
Full disclosure: I've had three hits of something called Kosher Kush tonight and that could potentially be affecting more than my typing skills at this point (but never EVER my use of homonyms, obvs). Living in a legal state means... Continue reading
Posted Dec 4, 2015 at Mandajuice
I had no idea this existed, but for the sake of my Minecraft-loving children I'm glad it does: and sometimes the player believed the universe had spoken to it through the zeros and ones, through the electricity of the world,... Continue reading
Posted Dec 3, 2015 at Mandajuice
This post is being brought to you by my shiny new MacBook. My old one hasn't worked in many moons and given that I made THAT one last for eight years, I figure they're a pretty good investment. This new... Continue reading
Posted Dec 2, 2015 at Mandajuice
Today the postal service finally forwarded me our last Portland water bill, which came in at $1,034 for our final three months at House of Yes. We lived with a bunch of dirty punk rockers who collectively showered about twice... Continue reading
Posted Dec 1, 2015 at Mandajuice
Alex didn't get home tonight until after 7:00. He'd spent the day mowing lawns and chopping down trees (for fun) at the house of the grandparent's of the friends who live across the street from his dad's house. These are... Continue reading
Posted Nov 11, 2015 at Mandajuice
The thing about my daughter's OCD is that it triggers every abusive thing that's ever happened to me. I routinely stop breathing regularly around 7:30 pm because that's when it starts. Every night I head into bedtime with a plan.... Continue reading
Posted Oct 9, 2015 at Mandajuice
Several months ago I catastrophically injured my left knee. I wish I could brag that it happened while deadlifting my own weight or jumping out of an airplane, but no. I went upstairs to tuck Alex in for bed and... Continue reading
Posted Jul 16, 2015 at Mandajuice
I don't know exactly why 39 feels so much scarier to me than 40, but it does. Almost like it's my last year to be "young" and I have a lot to accomplish before my tits fall off or something.... Continue reading
Posted Apr 1, 2015 at Mandajuice
This afternoon after work Alex and I took the Max downtown to have a dinner and a movie date. I've been trying hard to make special time for him because his sister has been such a monumental pain in his... Continue reading
Posted Jan 25, 2015 at Mandajuice
1. What did you do in 2014 that you’d never done before? I finally went to New York. I hashed. I went to Oregon Country Fair. I had ALLTHEBRUNCHES. 2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you... Continue reading
Posted Jan 2, 2015 at Mandajuice
Today was the first day I've felt even remotely normal since I started Cymbalta. The weird twilightiness is gone and I haven't felt queasy all day, but I still have this weird lump in the back of my throat. My... Continue reading
Posted Nov 18, 2014 at Mandajuice
I dropped Patrick off at the airport at 6AM this morning and I missed him immediately. This isn't our first separation and I know it won't be our last, but I already wish he was here tonight holding my hand... Continue reading
Posted Nov 14, 2014 at Mandajuice
I'm pretty sure that by rescheduling all of my Tuesday clients for Thursday, I single-handedly caused SNOWPOCALYPSE 2014, TWO POINT OH SHIT. We're expecting 4-6 inches of snow in the morning, followed by who knows how much freezing rain. Snow... Continue reading
Posted Nov 13, 2014 at Mandajuice
I got to work about three minutes after the transformer for our neighborhood blew out and our office lost power. I waxed my first client while the wax was still warm, only we had to use my iphone as a... Continue reading
Posted Nov 11, 2014 at Mandajuice
After a brief and much-interrupted conversation about my Mental Health, my Doctor wrote me an Rx for 15mg of Abilify (which, for whatever reason, sounds like it's called Enabler). I'm not entirely sure she understood my symptoms, so I've got... Continue reading
Posted Nov 10, 2014 at Mandajuice
I missed most of brunch today because I was busy getting flogged. Wasn't the first time, won't BY ANY MEANS be the last. I love it every. single. time. The more important news is that Patrick leaves for a work... Continue reading
Posted Nov 10, 2014 at Mandajuice
Many good things happened today: the Happy Light Patrick bought for us arrived on the very same morning the SUN FUCKING CAME OUT. My mood lifted like a trouser-tent during Fleet Week. It helped that we brunched with my favorite... Continue reading
Posted Nov 8, 2014 at Mandajuice