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Melanie Heisey
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It's funny... As a little girl I had a severe problem with my size. I saw patterns everywhere, and made up all sorts of weird conspiracy theories that set me and my sisters apart from the rest of the world. Losing that... admitting to myself it wasn't real... that was hard. Really hard. Those beliefs made me feel special, and confronting the fact that all it was all made up (and not that originally.. I mostly just copied movies I'd seen) made me feel small and unimportant. It's taken a lot of work to get where I am now. I understand as well as anyone how hard it can be to give up that artificial high of self-importance. But looking back, I'm glad to be wrong. I'm only just beginning to understand what a blessing it is to be a part of this amazing world, and that standing with my fellow human beings is far more empowering than standing above them. I am unique for the choices I make and the things I do, and there is no predestined path I walk. I am happy for it.
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I am currently a secular Pastafarian because I like the communion and sense of humor shared within the congregation, and the pirates of course. I also like Jediism. It's a nice, non-wooish brand of Taoism, with a nice flair of LeVeyan Satanism on the dark side. I've always had a thing for those two extremes, one a doctrine of submission and the other a doctrine of self-will, but I could never reconcile to myself choosing one over the other. The Taoist master has serenity within himself, yet the greatest human accomplishments have come from those who dare to go against the flow and attempt the impossible. I've decided that we're all just the captains of our own boat--when the time is right we can unfurl our sails and sail with the wind to our destination. The key is knowing when to unfurl the sails and when to set your men on paddling. Anyways, I'm keeping the lightsaber along with my pirate hat, with a few ninja stars thrown in for good measure.
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Jun 16, 2010