I don't like the continuing implication that only "zombies" will fill the seats, buy the merch, watch the games, and support the team. (Zombie fan is kind of a lame term. At least come up with a better name. But I digress...) I fucking hate Ireland. In my opinion, he and Tony Walnuts should have both been fired after two seasons ago. I hate how this team is run. I hate pretty much everything going on in the front office. I hate Jenny (from the block.) I wish Ross would sell the team to some Russian billionaire. Or Will Smith. Yeah, definitely Will Smith. That said, I love the Dolphins. I love them. It's that simple. I'm not going to stop watching football for the next two (or five, or eight...) years because I'm mad about how the organization is run (though I certainly support your right to do so.) I will not abandon the team that I've grown up with because of this perpetual mediocrity (as far as dry spells go, this rivals the 40 Year Old Virgin's.) I get your argument. I really do. Maybe I'm one of those terrible parents on Intervention and my continual support of the Dolphin's, even while they're mainlining Ginger, does more harm than good. Maybe it's time for tough love. But I don't have that within me. I love them too much. I'm going to root for the Dolphins this year. Loudly, publicly, and drunkenly. I'm unable to exorcise this cancerous presence from my soul. I'm weak. I love my tumor. It's been with me all my life. Growing stronger, and and more malignant each year. The obvious comparison here is Atlas Shrugged. As I'm sure you're all some enlightened motherfuckers, I don't have to tell you the tale of Dagny Taggart. She was a hella hard-working chica, unconcerned with the looters, thieves and socialists exploiting her proclivity for productivity. The world fell apart at the seams as she did what she loved. She ran those fucking railroads as everything around her collapsed. When John Galt, the big hunk of logical man that he was, came to Dagny and said, "Sister, stop permitting these cold cats to feed off you. Their only sustenance is YOUR hard work and ingenuity. The harder you work, the bigger these leeches grow. You are merely engineering your own demise." He told her to pull out. To withdraw from the world. To stop enabling these people. To disallow them to ravage her figurative anus without protection. Galt made a good point. But she didn't listen. Not immediately. She wasn't yet ready. And neither am I. Perhaps I haven't hit rock bottom. But surely it's coming up.

Reposted from FB: Have you ever stubbed your toe on the same damned baseboard corner several days in a row? It hurts like Charles Dickens. The throbbing keeps you up at night and your foot is still tender in the morning. And you leave your house very conscious of this evil bit of engineering -- you're not going to let it happen again. When you get to work you're extra careful. Your crooked digit cautions you to take that hallway corner real slow. "He's not going to get us today," says Toe. "We're wise to his tricks." And you are, so far as you can tell. You round the corner four or five times without incident, on your way to lunch or returning from the restroom. You find yourself exhaling gratefully after each successful pass. But the day is long and tiring. You've got 284 things on your mind and, at 7pm, the least of them is whether or not you're navigating the corner too recklessly. You're leaving the office for the evening, contemplating whether to cook pasta (again) or order pad thai. It is Thursday, after all, and the Real World / Road Rules Challenge is on. That Johnny Bananas is so charming. Yeah, you deserve some pad tha-- "FUCK!!!" You did it again! "FUCKCOCKDAMN SUPERSHITTINGSQUIRRELS!" You just smashed your toe into the wall for the 12th miserable day in a row. How did it happen again? How is that even possible? Just how goddamned stupid can one person be? Replace "toe" with "soul" and "days" with "years" and that's EXACTLY what being a Miami Dolphin fan feels like. Please fire Jeff Ireland. Please

Jesus, we're stuck in some sort of un-funny Groundhog's Day. And my friends who are Patriot fans are all like, "Watch that first step -- it's a doozy!" Every fucking year. It never fails.

This makes me want to shoot myself in the face. Thanks.

Alright, I had to blog about this Beasley madness. In the immortal words of that guy who liked Britney Spears on youtube, WHY WONT YOU JUST LEAVE HIM ALONE? http://lumpybones.blogspot.com/2009/08/michael-beasley-deserves-break.html Let me know if you agree.

and what if I DO pray to my corn-flakes???!?!!? Posted by: helium | June 27, 2009 at 01:16 PM ========= I'd recommend praying to a sugary cereal instead. Those Gods are far more likely to appease you with a prize near the bottom of the box!

Please have some respect for other people's faith . . . Posted by: helium | June 27, 2009 at 01:10 PM Dude, I'm not disrespecting Christianity. I'm disrespecting the nutters (who may or may not be members of the Christian faith) that claim to see the Virgin Mary everywhere. Lighten. Up.

Here's the article Ira is referencing: http://www.commercialappeal.com/news/2009/jun/27/griz-clippers-swap-fails/ "Sources confirmed Friday that the Grizzlies weighed numerous deals... Miami offered Michael Beasley for the second pick, and served up Mario Chalmers for the 27th selection." Really, Ira? You're going to take some Memphis hack's secret source's word for it? When he's spitting that implausible tripe? Stop begging for this Beasley trade to happen. You're seeing what you want to see. It's akin to those religious nuts who try to convince you a cornflake in their morning cereal is actually a divinely placed likeness of the Virgin Mary. Pull yourself together, man. There isn't a whole ton of accurate beat reporting in the Miami sports scene, which means your baseless crap might be the stuff Beasley is reading in his morning paper. Stop this incessantly speculative witch-hunt before you cause some real damage.

IRA, you forgot tonight's most important factoid: Dorell Wright played! Less than a minute mind you, but he played!

Call TO and get the scrubs in. Good job Spo. Get Beasley out and Chalmers out. Posted by: FMB or FS | May 01, 2009 at 10:33 PM ======== We need to keep Be-Easy in just to pad his stats a bit more and make tomorrow's debate more interesting!

Wade after the dunk, left that fan hanging. :D Posted by: I-Win | May 01, 2009 at 10:22 PM ====== I saw that too. Poor guy probably payed a lot for those seats.

Wade's quiet stare is ferocious .

Josh Smith has resorted to THUGGERY! Posted by: ElHeat | May 01, 2009 at 10:14 PM ======== I LOLed.

Time for Wade to sit, come on Spo.

Beasley can do that every single time! I don't know if that's just the match-up I-Win was talking about or he really can be that good all the time, but I WANT MOAR!

Why can't we play Beasley at SF and Haslem at PF? Right now Beasley is posting up Josh Smith, like I've suggested Beasley can do against SFs all year long. Posted by: I-Win | May 01, 2009 at 10:03 PM ====== I don't entirely disagree, but it gets a lot harder to spread the floor without a spot-up three-pt assassin (like Cook or JJ, when on fire), doesn't it?

This is great. The fans are holding up a T-H-U-G sign in front of the Hawks broadcaster. Posted by: Ethan J. Skolnick | May 01, 2009 at 10:03 PM

Beasley is brilliant when he gets to the rim! If only he could remember to do that every time... maybe he needs "Memento" style tattoos?

For you? I would've guess his c*ck more than anything. Posted by: I-Win | May 01, 2009 at 09:52 PM ==== Oh my God! I-Win, I-Win has resorted to thuggery!

Hahahah, I love Beasley, for his flaws just as much as anything.

What's the +/- stat stand for?? Posted by: heatguy225 | May 01, 2009 at 09:45 PM === Score differential when the player is on the court. Right now, after those two threes (YES!!!), Wade is at "+24" which means, with him on the court, the Heat are outscoring the Hawks by 24 points.

Wow, I like the heart the role-players are showing so far tonight. Also, again, I HATE BIBBY.

That was a great board there by Haslem; I can't hate on that.

Joel leading all players on the "+/-" so far at "+13." Hmm.

Hey, did you guys know Chicago/Boston is going to a 7th game??!?!? Man, I hadn't heard about that. I wish ESPN would cover it a little more. Maybe A-Rod will be sitting courtside for it!