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Mr Jam
Nury Vittachi is an author and journalist based in Hong Kong, and has written many books and articles, under his own name and as "Mr Jam", "Lai See", "The Spice Trader" and so on.
Recent Activity
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MY MOST HATED computer error message is: “Warning: Keyboard not found. Press enter to continue.” Seeing this causes me to give a visual lesson to my workmates on the true definition of the word “Hardware”: “The parts of a computer... Continue reading
Posted 4 days ago at The Curious Diary of Mr Jam
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A TINY lizard has been clinging to the wall behind me for TWO HOURS. I want to change the TV channel, but I feel I ought to at least ask him, right? Yeah, I know it’s irrational, but I'm human.... Continue reading
Posted Oct 12, 2014 at The Curious Diary of Mr Jam
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I’m starting a group called The Anti-Social Society, with meetings at a restaurant every Friday. If anyone turns up, they’re drummed out of the group. *** These days it’s too much trouble to go out anyway. Case in point: A... Continue reading
Posted Oct 2, 2014 at The Curious Diary of Mr Jam
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It is morally wrong to describe a whole group of people as "incarnations of evil". Unless we’re talking about property landlords, since that's a scientifically proven fact. I've had landlords SO SCARY that the supreme rulers of Hades, Beelzebub and... Continue reading
Posted Sep 21, 2014 at The Curious Diary of Mr Jam
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If they invited me on one of those radio shows where you choose your top 10 music tracks, I would choose the national anthem 10 times, so that everyone in the country would have to stand up for an hour.... Continue reading
Posted Sep 14, 2014 at The Curious Diary of Mr Jam
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Last week, my wife told me I “still had a lot of growing up to do”. I was so angry I refused to let her share this really neat giant cardboard box I’d found. It had once contained some sort... Continue reading
Posted Sep 7, 2014 at The Curious Diary of Mr Jam
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At one time, I changed my Facebook name to NO ONE ON EARTH, so that every time I pressed the “Like” button, my friends got a notification saying “NO ONE ON EARTH likes your post”. Mwah ha ha ha. Yes,... Continue reading
Posted Aug 31, 2014 at The Curious Diary of Mr Jam
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The whole e-commerce thing is a brilliant development for guys like my son and myself, who HATE shopping with a passion. When we absolutely HAVE to make a physical journey to a store, we create a “search and rescue” plan... Continue reading
Posted Aug 19, 2014 at The Curious Diary of Mr Jam
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I WAS SO OUTRAGED when an American friend said that Asian males were kind of “girly” that I almost hit him with my shoulder bag. But instead I just gave him a cold stare and turned back to browsing Hello... Continue reading
Posted Jul 28, 2014 at The Curious Diary of Mr Jam
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So I get a news report from a young reporter. “A car was in collision with a bath,”, it tells me. Huh? So…. someone was driving a bath down a road? No. She explains that the guy in the bath... Continue reading
Posted Jul 22, 2014 at The Curious Diary of Mr Jam
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What would you do if a man threatened to put your children on the roof of jeep and then perform dangerous vehicular acrobatics, trying to flip the car over? I’ll tell you what I did. I said YES PLEASE, paid... Continue reading
Posted Jul 14, 2014 at The Curious Diary of Mr Jam
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I wrote an article on a science website and it went viral -- 100,000 people read it or shared it in a week--and numbers are still zooming upwards. Read it here Metaphysical thought processes are more deeply wired than hitherto... Continue reading
Posted Jul 14, 2014 at The Curious Diary of Mr Jam
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BIG APOLOGIES for the silence on this page for a while. My mother passed away a few days ago. She was an amazing woman. She was one of four sisters who had marriages arranged for them. Instead, she climbed out... Continue reading
Posted Jul 13, 2014 at The Curious Diary of Mr Jam
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Every day I spring out of bed at six in the morning intending to spread sweetness and light all day. And then idiots happen. You know the feeling. One moment you’re Mother Teresa and then you’re Shiva, Destroyer of Worlds.... Continue reading
Posted Jun 29, 2014 at The Curious Diary of Mr Jam
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My dazzling career as a professional counterfeiter started one Friday when I used a tiny image of a banknote to complete a piece of advertising artwork for a friend. A couple of weeks later, the lawyers from HSBC complained that... Continue reading
Posted Jun 22, 2014 at The Curious Diary of Mr Jam
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I’ve always told my children that they can turn traffic lights green using only their minds. My wife scolds me, but it totally works. You just have to choose the moment you start thinking really carefully. “Ready? Concentrate. Three… two…... Continue reading
Posted Jun 15, 2014 at The Curious Diary of Mr Jam
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A guest column about a visit to Xinjiang, China *** HOW A COW PORTRAIT SAVED MY LIFE By D F Tsui DEATH BY FREEZING seemed a distinct possibility. The scenery of the Bayinbulak grasslands in the northwest of Xinjiang, China,... Continue reading
Posted Jun 10, 2014 at The Curious Diary of Mr Jam
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People on the internet frequently abuse me with the phrase “Your stupid”. I usually reply: “Yeah but at least I can spell ‘you’re’.” This infuriated one correspondent recently into writing back: “Your a idiot.” I replied: “Yeah but at least... Continue reading
Posted Jun 8, 2014 at The Curious Diary of Mr Jam
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Madness. In the next few months, government regulators in many cities are planning to legalize self-driving cars. Have these people NEVER SEEN any of the “Transformers” movies? The Decepticons must be ecstatic. *** I was worrying out loud about this... Continue reading
Posted Jun 3, 2014 at The Curious Diary of Mr Jam
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MY COLLEAGUES COMPLAIN that I have a disgustingly messy desk. I prefer to call it “the ideas vortex”. *** But lack of cleanliness was on my mind this week after a reader sent me a Global News clipping about firefighters... Continue reading
Posted May 25, 2014 at The Curious Diary of Mr Jam
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DON’T READ THIS if you live in Asia and worry about dying from a radioactive leak *** SO A READER forwarded me a terrifying news clipping about a guy who found an odd-looking bit of metal when cleaning a RADIOACTIVE... Continue reading
Posted May 18, 2014 at The Curious Diary of Mr Jam
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I WISH HUMAN BEINGS were like internet ads, silent but with optional buttons saying “REPLAY WITH SOUND”. This thought came to mind as I half-listened to a friend called Rahul giving me column ideas. Most were dull. But then he... Continue reading
Posted May 11, 2014 at The Curious Diary of Mr Jam
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True story: A motorbike crashed into a pedestrian. The bike rider died, but the pedestrian was unhurt. So police arrested the pedestrian. That happened recently in China. In the same country, a man was driving a tuk-tuk (scooter-taxi) when a... Continue reading
Posted May 4, 2014 at The Curious Diary of Mr Jam
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A tale of a teacher shocked me into action A teacher took out a lawsuit recently complaining that school bosses sacked her because of her disability. How mean! Or at least that’s what I thought until I read that her... Continue reading
Posted Apr 28, 2014 at The Curious Diary of Mr Jam