This is Mr Jam's Typepad Profile.
Join Typepad and start following Mr Jam's activity
Join Now!
Already a member? Sign In
Mr Jam
Nury Vittachi is an author and journalist based in Hong Kong, and has written many books and articles, under his own name and as "Mr Jam", "Lai See", "The Spice Trader" and so on.
Recent Activity
Image
While shaking hands the other day, I felt thankful that we evolved from apes. Had we evolved from dogs, we’d greet each other by circling around with our heads down saying: “Wow, your nether regions smell great.” Reply: “Thanks! Yours,... Continue reading
Posted Dec 27, 2015 at The Curious Diary of Mr Jam
Image
Now that my children are all on Facebook I don’t punish them for misdeeds any more. I just tag them on old family pictures of them pooping at the poolside etc. Mwa ha ha. *** But I was scolded by... Continue reading
Posted Nov 29, 2015 at The Curious Diary of Mr Jam
Image
Kids ask tough questions. Like: “Do fish get thirsty?” I replied that they do, and the most common cause of preventable fish death are the greedy ones drinking up all the water in their tanks. *** “And why isn’t there... Continue reading
Posted Nov 10, 2015 at The Curious Diary of Mr Jam
Image
I just overheard a guy telling his wife to calm down, look at the facts and think rationally. Can you believe THERE ARE STILL MEN who don’t understand how women work?!?! *** Guys, guys! Women are complex creatures with intuitive... Continue reading
Posted Oct 11, 2015 at The Curious Diary of Mr Jam
Image
A group of people who ATE HUMAN BRAINS became immune to several deadly diseases, proving that evolution is continuing at high speed, scientists said. The astonishing report was shown to me by a gourmet who took offense to an article... Continue reading
Posted Oct 6, 2015 at The Curious Diary of Mr Jam
Image
SO A READER named Melissa writes to say her friend was at a talk about global resources and someone put up a Powerpoint slide which said: “The average North American consumes more than 400 Africans.” She asked: “Is it a... Continue reading
Posted Sep 28, 2015 at The Curious Diary of Mr Jam
Image
Have you noticed that a significant percentage of parenting time is spent screaming at your children to stop screaming? *** Ironic, that. Researchers say that even very young children are now learning curse words, because parents break their own anti-cursing... Continue reading
Posted Sep 21, 2015 at The Curious Diary of Mr Jam
Image
IMPORTANT: If you are on a skiing holiday and you see angels, do NOT fall backwards and wave your arms to make an angel shape in the snow. They may find it offensive. Always be politically correct. Especially to angels.... Continue reading
Posted Sep 13, 2015 at The Curious Diary of Mr Jam
Image
WHEN A VISITING Westerner airily dismissed Asia as “a region of natural disasters and incredibly nasty leaders,” I was really upset. The truth hurts. *** A similar point was made in the shape of a request I received from a... Continue reading
Posted Sep 7, 2015 at The Curious Diary of Mr Jam
Image
ME: “This is not a gun. It’s a child’s drawing of Team Rocket’s bazooka from the Pokemon cartoon.” AIRPORT OFFICIAL: “You do understand that we have to take all threats seriously, sir?” ME: “Do I get a final phone call?”... Continue reading
Posted Aug 30, 2015 at The Curious Diary of Mr Jam
Image
When I was a student I had the idea of organizing a party with Breathalyzer tests at the door so no girls could get in unless they were drunk enough. Had to cancel when my tutor threatened to report me.... Continue reading
Posted Aug 16, 2015 at The Curious Diary of Mr Jam
Image
How much are you worth in onions? You don’t know, right? The exciting news is that supermarkets IN YOUR TOWN are getting self-service counters where you can scan an item’s bar code and then jump up and sit on the... Continue reading
Posted Jul 26, 2015 at The Curious Diary of Mr Jam
Image
THE FACT THAT judges always have tiny hammers made me realize that in the old days they must have just gone round attacking people, right? BOP! “Take that! Now go away and stop murdering everyone.” “Oww! Yes, my lord.” ***... Continue reading
Posted Jul 19, 2015 at The Curious Diary of Mr Jam
Image
I once told people my name was Wazzupp Nindood. The default greeting of that era was “What’s happenin’ dude?” so my name was on everyone’s lips and I was famous at my new school for a while. *** People who... Continue reading
Posted Jul 12, 2015 at The Curious Diary of Mr Jam
Image
This is “The Guy Way” to prepare a healthy, raw vegetable dinner. 1) Throw raw vegetables in the bin. 2) Go eat steak. *** But be warned: some of the most crucial guy foods are in danger. Excessive hormone use... Continue reading
Posted Jul 5, 2015 at The Curious Diary of Mr Jam
Image
I’M ALWAYS DISAPPOINTED when I see a moving train approaching a tunnel and there aren’t two men fighting on top. I think I’m starting to lose my faith in the movie industry. *** But talking of fighting, this writer has... Continue reading
Posted Jun 29, 2015 at The Curious Diary of Mr Jam
Image
Made an important discovery. There is no masculine way to carry a giant teddy bear and a Disney Princess helium balloon back from a funfair. Never mind. My ego should recover in three to four months with sufficient stroking. ***... Continue reading
Posted Jun 21, 2015 at The Curious Diary of Mr Jam
Image
ALL adults have a vital duty to tell young people about The Olden Days (a phrase which covers the period from the early Triassic era to about 2008). “In the past, people would go A WHOLE DAY WITHOUT TAKING A... Continue reading
Posted Jun 14, 2015 at The Curious Diary of Mr Jam
Image
Disaster! I’ve been doing my new calorie-counting app wrong. I got a new high score every day. Then the wife tells me that the whole point is to get low scores. “So how do you win?” I asked. She said:... Continue reading
Posted Jun 7, 2015 at The Curious Diary of Mr Jam
Image
A NEW ISLAND appeared off the coast of Japan and scientists are watching it to see evolution at work. So I was told. I was a bit dubious. Doesn't evolution take a while? The reader who sent me the report,... Continue reading
Posted May 31, 2015 at The Curious Diary of Mr Jam
Image
A RURAL FRIEND WAS worried that his hens might come down with bird flu in this rainy, humid weather.I was about to say: “Give them chicken soup,” but then I thought, maybe not. Insensitive? *** Everyone’s health-aware these days. Last... Continue reading
Posted May 17, 2015 at The Curious Diary of Mr Jam
Image
I ONCE SAT IN a seminar where the motivational speaker kept saying: “Accept yourself as you really are.” Fine with me, but the colleagues who were at my side all had serial killer personalities. I tried to warn the speaker... Continue reading
Posted May 10, 2015 at The Curious Diary of Mr Jam
Image
MY WIFE BOUGHT a product called “Extra Sensitive Baby Wipes”. If you use them to clean your shoes, they get really upset. Okay, that’s a joke, but I have URGENT NEWS on sanitation. Ladies should enjoy the women’s room while... Continue reading
Posted May 3, 2015 at The Curious Diary of Mr Jam
Image
My dog spends hours visualising her dinner, licking her lips in anticipation of it, and walking in and out of the kitchen to catch the precise moment when it is served. And when it appears, she inhales it in one... Continue reading
Posted Apr 26, 2015 at The Curious Diary of Mr Jam
Image
A nosy co-worker reading my screen over my shoulder was shocked that I had 12,457 unread emails. I told him: “The intelligence agencies read our emails these days. Why duplicate the work?” He warned me that if I let other... Continue reading
Posted Apr 19, 2015 at The Curious Diary of Mr Jam