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Neil De La Flor
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I'm still disturbed about the rocks not wanting to be disturbed. Actually, I think the rocks really want to be disturbed. I mean, who really wants to sit their whole life and never ever move. I freed one and now it is happy.
When I was in college 1.3 billion years ago, all we had to study was aquatic life. Boooring! Now, we got YouTube to totally distract us from every learning or living again.
Nice! I love that palm trees can do it. What would life be without palm tree sex?
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It took me longer than expected to write this post because I didn't want to write this post. Plus, I couldn't stop hula-hoop dancing and doggie style two-stepping to Goldfrapp's “Number One”. I am better now, and I really do feel like I am number one. For now, at least, I'll be just fine until next full moon arrives. Yes, I was born this insane with a hula-hoop for a brain. My stepmother, who I adore very much, thought I was insane and angry as a teen because I was gay. When you came out, she said, that explained everything.... Continue reading
Posted Jul 16, 2011 at The Best American Poetry
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God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to disco. After reading 37 essays about District 9, Kafka's The Metamorphosis, and Little Miss Sunshine, I'm ready to dance. I have 87 more essays to read, but I don't care. Well, I do care, but I need to dance and to smell a stinky nightclub to remind me that there are bigger things in life. For now, I'll enjoy this stinky life because I only got one left. The other two I sold to pay the... Continue reading
Posted Jul 15, 2011 at The Best American Poetry
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I don't know why the rocks can't be disturbed, but I'm disturbed someone spent money on a sign that reads, "Do Not Disturb Rocks". I'm not sure if the rocks will mind being disturbed from their undisturbed state. I'm not sure if the rocks really care about being touched by adjuncts, but someone cares about the peace and tranquility of rocks. I am aware that there are disturbances in the universe that threaten us (and the rocks), disturbances that penetrate our daily lives even when we put up our biggest and baddest shields. I wore my shield today and every... Continue reading
Posted Jul 14, 2011 at The Best American Poetry
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This is what I taught this semester while wearing a fedora: Florence + the Machine: I'm obsessed with Florence and her red hair. I'm obsessed with her cosmic voice. I'm obsessed with her lineage and her Celtic robes. I think she is an extraordinary terrestrial. “Piss Christ” by Andres Serrano: When we studied this photograph, almost every student appreciated the image as a work of art until they discovered Serrano used his own blood and urine to create the golden background for the image. Once my students discover this fact, all hell breaks loose change. In the end, less than... Continue reading
Posted Jul 13, 2011 at The Best American Poetry
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“Love is reciprocity and so is art. Either you abandon yourself to another world that you say you seek or you find ways to resist it. Most of us are art resisters because art is a challenge to the notional life....It fields its own realities, lives by its own currency, aloof to riches and want. Art is dangerous.” --Jeanette Winterson, “Imagination and Reality” from Art Objects. Warning: there's a subtle fusion here. Resistance is futile, so I bought tickets to see (the best damn) ABBA (tribute band in the world) next week at the Hardrock Casino in Hollywood, Florida. I'm... Continue reading
Posted Jul 12, 2011 at The Best American Poetry
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I need a pedicure. I need to spend more time Little Miss Sunshining my ass on a hammock on Fort Lauderdale beach. I need to live in the present tense. I need to stop caring about my presence in the present tense. Ghosts exist in every tense--past, future, present and inside the tenses that exist in between these. Bartenders at Lago Mar make $60,000 a year and I don't care if I'm beautiful. I'm trying not to be a liar. While lying on the beach yesterday, I read Tony Leuzzi's Raidant Loses while sharing a towel with Jupiter. The title... Continue reading
Posted Jul 11, 2011 at The Best American Poetry
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My name is Neil de la Flor and I am (probably) (moderately) bipolar. Thank you, Oprah.com. Last night I took the “Mood Disorder Questionnaire” at www.oprah.com because I believe in Oprah, polar bears and the accuracy of self-diagnosis on the Internet at the witching hour while moderately depressed. In other words, I had nothing better to do. I was listening to Ladytron's “Soft Power” in bed and that's when I decided it was time to learn my psychological truth. I wanted answers from the dark side of my baboon head—answers from the part of me that swings back and forth... Continue reading
Posted Jul 10, 2011 at The Best American Poetry
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Jul 9, 2011