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nina
Mad poet sensualist, overly fond of banjo,single mama city-girl living in a small town watching the boats go by.
Recent Activity
It's been a tough week. Something that I thought was going to be good turned out to be, well nothing, really. I have this Christmas cactus that is a cutting from my grandmother's big giant one. And I am the worst with houseplants. Which is why people now try to... Continue reading
Posted Jul 27, 2017 at nina turns 50
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Been feeling so desperate and wild, full of longing and pain: old wounds that I thought were healed spinning back around to grab me by the throat, a new object of desire carves a hole inside me and shimmers just out of reach. The only solution is to go to... Continue reading
Posted Jul 4, 2017 at nina turns 50
My wild heart. Always pointing herself in the wrong direction. Always hungry, always following along where my body takes her, and my body is even more reckless and wanting. Still trying to prove to myself that men like me after a lifetime of hanging out with younger and cuter women... Continue reading
Posted Jul 2, 2017 at nina turns 50
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I returned to Morelia. I traveled through time and turbulence and I sat at a table in the Portales drinking coffee with my son who would not exist but for that city. I cried. I cried when we arrived, I cried when we left, I was overwhelmed with moments of... Continue reading
Posted Jul 1, 2017 at nina turns 50
Usually fall is my favorite season, but this was a hard one, and I'm happy for the psychological turning point offered by the solstice. My basic struggle right now is to simply make the shift from an outward focused sense of goodness, my own goodness and worthiness, to an inward... Continue reading
Posted Dec 22, 2016 at nina turns 50
So many transitions all around me. Kimberly selling her house, her and Paul's house. Paul gone for almost three years now. Not just my own child, but all the high school seniors in town, these beautiful, vibrant young people, are getting ready to take flight, and this place will be... Continue reading
Posted Dec 20, 2016 at nina turns 50
A shift in a friendship. A lover lost. A lover turning toward another, turning toward her with a different quality of interest that he never held for me, and that I had craved deeply. Wanting to rise above the ego hurt of it, the humiliation of being put aside for... Continue reading
Posted Dec 17, 2016 at nina turns 50
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There is an under-appreciated beauty in the various ways that water manifests itself in the maritime temperate climate of the west coasts of Washington and Vancouver Island. Sky and sea. Salt and mud and river and mist. The relentless rain. Many people on vacation seek the sun. We embraced the... Continue reading
Posted Mar 25, 2015 at nina turns 50
Lift me up on ribboned wings that vibrate in the breeze, take me far from cherished fields, remembered scents, let me pollinate the blossom on a tree that marks a windswept hill, planted by an old man when he was young and in love with the moon. Tell me the... Continue reading
Posted Dec 9, 2014 at nina turns 50
And so I find myself again with a broken heart. I knew, deep down, this was the inevitable result of engaging with him, but it barely gave me pause in the beginning. It was like running toward a cliff and only thinking about how good it feels to move. It... Continue reading
Posted Nov 11, 2014 at nina turns 50
Funny how you can get dumped in a way that you kind of always suspected would happen, but that it still takes you by surprise and you feel completely gutted. I feel like the new poster child for smart women, foolish choices. Or maybe I'm just not as smart as... Continue reading
Posted Nov 5, 2014 at nina turns 50
Thanks, Anna. That means a lot coming from you.
1 reply
Start with a letter, one that you unfold very gently, one that is falling apart at the creases, or about to. Read the faint words slowly, one by one, as if you can’t quite make them out. Change them, embellish the faded prose, turn it into something sweeter. Pull the... Continue reading
Posted Oct 27, 2014 at nina turns 50
Up early on Sunday to go to day two of a poetry workshop with Kim Stafford. All the attendees are women. Kim is the kind of man to say that he feels honored to be in a group of women, and tells us a story of how one of his... Continue reading
Posted Oct 26, 2014 at nina turns 50
On my 30th birthday I was feeling sad about a boy who'd broken up with me. He worked in the restaurant at the Space Needle, and I decided to go and wait for him to get off work so I could talk with him and see if I could change... Continue reading
Posted Oct 22, 2014 at nina turns 50
It's my birthday tomorrow, my 52nd birthday, and I am currently bleeding heavily into the biggest size maxi pad they sell at the grocery store. I have a foggy Monday morning brain after waking up in the middle of the night - as I always do now - to change... Continue reading
Posted Oct 20, 2014 at nina turns 50
The fall cavalcade of soup continues. This afternoon it's black bean, peppers, and pork. Yesterday it was pureed delicata squash and carrot with diced apple garnish. Both of these made from the crock pot chicken stock that's been brewing away on my counter the last couple of days. I've had... Continue reading
Posted Oct 12, 2014 at nina turns 50
I immersed myself like a Christian getting baptized and I let the river take me. Burning hills hazed the sun, heavy sky above me, sharp firerocks beneath the rapids tore my skin and let the bloodriver ooze and drip out of me, a leaky faucet, and I became a wild... Continue reading
Posted Oct 4, 2014 at nina turns 50
After you've walked through the window and shafts of glass have rearranged themselves underneath your broken skin, does it matter that your shock was not the innocence of stunned bird slammed mid-flight, prone in the dirt, but instead stubborn advancement toward sharp clarity and green promise of something expansive and... Continue reading
Posted Sep 11, 2014 at nina turns 50
I have cultivated a certain level of hardness around myself and my single life, I have gotten used to not having that daily domestic intimacy of cooking together with someone or sitting on my couch and talking deeply with someone (not to mention passionate making out on same couch, or... Continue reading
Posted Sep 5, 2014 at nina turns 50
I miss writing here. I miss having something to write about, as if something has shriveled up inside of me, and just lies there, wrinkled and dry. I want to pick it up and soak it in rum. Let it get plump again. All these big life transitions are heading... Continue reading
Posted Jul 15, 2014 at nina turns 50
Oh dear, I totally forgot to write a poem yesterday, and I confess I am relieved to just call it a half-NaPoWriMo and bow out gracefully (or, as is more my style, awkwardly). Thanks to those who checked in. Continue reading
Posted Apr 17, 2013 at nina turns 50
Half the yard is still unmowed a red kayak and a yellow kayak float slowly down the river sideways with no one on board. Continue reading
Posted Apr 15, 2013 at nina turns 50
Cleaning the floors today moving furniture, the dust, which is afterall just our shedding, we sweep it in a pile as if we could gather ourselves back up again, keep each cell, each white hair or brown connected to us forever, if only we knew the secret to putting it... Continue reading
Posted Apr 14, 2013 at nina turns 50
There is a sin I must confess before it gives me more distress every time I go to sleep the guilt inside me makes me weep. When I tell you my regret let that satisfy my debt repentant heart forever pure because I've found the perfect cure. By whispering my... Continue reading
Posted Apr 13, 2013 at nina turns 50