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Suburban Kamikaze
Suburbia, USA
Her address says suburbs, but her shoes scream "get me out of here...".
Interests: The Suburban Kamikaze has a lot of shoes. What of it? We shop at Target, plot world domination. We read a lot of books. We drink a lot of wine. We are not appreciated by our children. We reject suburban culture. We embody suburban culture. We laugh bitterly when we hear the words "suburban culture." Maybe you are one of us...
Recent Activity
Poor Ken. Just a little short of the total package. SK
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With the release of the 2014 Career of the Year doll, Mattel has added a new entry to Barbie's resume (which has been reconfigured in a slightly smaller font and runs just under 4o pages.) Entrepreneur Barbie will be courting... Continue reading
Posted Jul 14, 2014 at suburban kamikaze
I assume by "follow up" that you are speaking of the welfare of the birds and not the location of the ladder, which is still leaning up against the neighbor's house, but on the ground. I do not know what became of the birds, although I do know that they are NO LONGER TRAPPED INSIDE THE STORM WINDOW, which has to count for something. SK
Toggle Commented Jul 6, 2014 on Bird story at suburban kamikaze
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There is more to the story, of course. There is a very tall ladder involved, a climb to the second floor of the vacant house next door, some damage to a window, and possibly, an opening into the house through... Continue reading
Posted Jul 6, 2014 at suburban kamikaze
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from the archives: Mermaid in America, We the Family Continue reading
Posted Jul 4, 2014 at suburban kamikaze
I don't think it literally means no food. Which is weird, because in my house the expression is literally "There is literally no food in this house." SK
Toggle Commented Jun 30, 2014 on Chipotle Summer at suburban kamikaze
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Well sure, Audubon, we should have raised them all as Buddhists, but it's a little late now. Unless there is an Xbox version? SK
Toggle Commented Jun 30, 2014 on Chipotle Summer at suburban kamikaze
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Someday, possibly, I will look back at the summer of 2014 as the Summer of Tranquility. I know this because the teenagers are constantly telling me to "relax." Also, The Summer I Worked 5 Jobs While the Teenagers Fought Over... Continue reading
Posted Jun 29, 2014 at suburban kamikaze
Those gas lamps give off almost no light whatsoever. And as for heat: HAH! Very funny. SK
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Who is in the mood for some sweet and frothy summer reading, full of hope and inspirational characters? Me neither. But I don't see myself picking up any Dickens either. Let's start our poolside, back deck or beachfront reading with... Continue reading
Posted Jun 12, 2014 at suburban kamikaze
It's a little Banksy, yes? I am taking it as an encouraging sign. I mean, sure, it's essentially a version of those things people's grandmas used to put over toilet paper rolls. But in this case, it seems completely random and maybe even a little subversive. It's a step in the right direction, is all I'm saying.
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Summer has come at last to the Greater Chicago area. The last of the snow has melted, the river is covered in tourists, and the suburbs are full of people doing yardwork and knitting lamppost covers. Photos: Boatloads of tourists... Continue reading
Posted Jun 11, 2014 at suburban kamikaze
I fall for it so often I am thinking of laminating the instructions for boiling water. SK
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I could show you how to make them. SK
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Boy, Esq., who at 19 is essentially a fully-grown human, has zero interest in learning to make pancakes. His interest in pancakes stops and starts with the process of eating them. So when he appears on the back deck Sunday... Continue reading
Posted May 26, 2014 at suburban kamikaze
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Though it is impossible in this part of the world to rule out snowfall at any point in the calendar, an undeniably summery feeling has settled over our house. The boy is home from his first year at Bankruptcy U.... Continue reading
Posted May 21, 2014 at suburban kamikaze
Please! That is practically like finding money on the sidewalk. SK
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If you've ever wondered whether you could shovel U.S. currency into an open fire faster than a teenager can burn through all the money you will ever have, the answer is probably yes. But you'd have to work fast and... Continue reading
Posted May 20, 2014 at suburban kamikaze
Not hard, but definitely sticky, judging by the state of my kitchen. Why does extra credit always seem to require extra vacuuming? SK
Toggle Commented May 13, 2014 on Periodic Table of Cupcakes at suburban kamikaze
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If there is a better way to earn chemistry extra credit than baking 118 cupcakes decorated with such appetizing flourishes as the symbols for "arsenic," "mercury," and "lead," the two 16-year-old girls destroying my kitchen do not want to hear... Continue reading
Posted May 12, 2014 at suburban kamikaze
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Which is a good thing, because it's been a while since anyone made me a jeweled Mother's Day Card. Note to Boy Esq: Your sister picked out a card from Jewel, however. Also, flowers. She wrote a very sweet note.... Continue reading
Posted May 11, 2014 at suburban kamikaze
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Click on the picture for more pie/disappointment. Continue reading
Posted May 6, 2014 at suburban kamikaze
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It turns out that my expertise on the subject of romance may be limited to a relatively narrow demographic. In my defense, there is very little call for it on the ACT. "Give her space," I tell the all-sport, high... Continue reading
Posted May 2, 2014 at suburban kamikaze
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Now the publishing world will have to tape me seriously. Continue reading
Posted Apr 23, 2014 at suburban kamikaze
1. Set your alarm for 6:30ish, but don't get out of bed until your mom has come in to wake you up at least three times. 2. Dig through the piles of laundry covering your floor, chair and bed to... Continue reading
Posted Apr 23, 2014 at suburban kamikaze