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Suburban Kamikaze
Suburbia, USA
Her address says suburbs, but her shoes scream "get me out of here...".
Interests: The Suburban Kamikaze has a lot of shoes. What of it? We shop at Target, plot world domination. We read a lot of books. We drink a lot of wine. We are not appreciated by our children. We reject suburban culture. We embody suburban culture. We laugh bitterly when we hear the words "suburban culture." Maybe you are one of us...
Recent Activity
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Pairs well with take-out. Click on the image to see the rest of the shelf. Continue reading
Posted Apr 3, 2014 at suburban kamikaze
I would have to check with Peyton to be 100 percent. But I am pretty sure that is not haiku. Eat Stuff I Shouldn't Sunday should really be a thing. SK
1 reply
It's my thing. It will catch on, possibly. SK
Toggle Commented Mar 23, 2014 on Gratuitous Selfie Tuesday at suburban kamikaze
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That is no way to hide out from the PTA. SK
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If there is one thing I know about the suburbs, it is that things aren't always what they seem. From the outside everything may look tidy and above reproach, but inside? Your neighbors are having sex with their gardeners. Or... Continue reading
Posted Mar 20, 2014 at suburban kamikaze
I don't know how it broke through all seven layers of the sausage smoke, exhaust fumes and green bean casserole that make up Chicago's upper atmosphere, but it was there. Just for a moment. SK
Toggle Commented Mar 20, 2014 on Gratuitous Selfie Tuesday at suburban kamikaze
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Suburban Kamikaze is now following foolery
Mar 19, 2014
Of course you can use it in a sentence. I have already used it three times while looking at the collection of Post-it notes I call my "calendar" and talking to myself: Seriously? Like I need this ridicustress? SK
Toggle Commented Mar 19, 2014 on Ridicustress Defined at Foolery
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Return of the sun over the car pool lane. Greater Chiberia, March, 2014. I do not trust this warm band of light streaming across my cheeks, but I allow myself a fleeting, sun-ish moment of what passes for hope in... Continue reading
Posted Mar 18, 2014 at suburban kamikaze
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I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, put down that spray bottle, Suburban. Nobody cleans the house for a kid home for spring break. But I'm not doing it for him. I know as well as you do that he... Continue reading
Posted Mar 17, 2014 at suburban kamikaze
I think the statute of limitations may have run on hamster crimes. SK
1 reply
In our defense, we are not the ones who did whatever it is that was done. SK
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Oh god. She is never going to get her troops off the floor, is she? SK
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The Life Cycle of an Empty Threat That's it. I've had it. You're done. Do you hear me? You are NEVER, EVER, EVER doing something EVER AGAIN. Also, there is NO WAY you are going to do that thing that... Continue reading
Posted Mar 14, 2014 at suburban kamikaze
Pray we never have to choose between cheese and our family members. SK
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He did not. He decided on a more expensive school, farther away. In hindsight, I can see that it was probably a mistake to wear my Mardi Gras beads during the campus tour. SK
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I am dreaming of New Orleans today, where the streets are paved in crawfish, daiquiris are sold by the gallon, and where my favorite sister-in-law has probably collapsed beneath the weight of her shiny, plastic beads. It's not that I... Continue reading
Posted Mar 4, 2014 at suburban kamikaze
That is a beautiful story. I wish I could believe it actually ends in 80 degrees, but my hope has long since frozen over. I remember when 35 seemed cold. Now it sounds like honeymoon weather. SK
So many confessions, so little remorse. I wish I was going. (Erma Bombeck writing conference) I discovered all of you after it was already sold out. Next year... SK
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10. Sometimes when I say I have to go to bed early, it is just an excuse to get away from you and read in bed. 9. Sometimes when I say I have to go to bed early but I... Continue reading
Posted Feb 27, 2014 at suburban kamikaze
Cupcakes, brownies, rainbow cakes, chocolate chip and sprinkle cookies. We haven't eaten anything that isn't covered in colored sprinkles in weeks. We are probably less than one room away from being completely under the girl's authority. But which room? SK
Toggle Commented Feb 27, 2014 on Gratuitous Cupcake Tuesday at suburban kamikaze
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It's funny you should mention brownie mix, which we are calling "lunch." It's what comes of having no motivation and nothing but 16-year-old girls and cake mixes in the kitchen. SK
Toggle Commented Feb 25, 2014 on Gratuitous Cupcake Tuesday at suburban kamikaze
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There is a certain point in the long and dreary Midwestern winter when you are left with no choice but to give up. Despite your best efforts, it will eventually drive you to your knees, where you will be forced... Continue reading
Posted Feb 25, 2014 at suburban kamikaze
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Click on the image to see what else has changed. Continue reading
Posted Feb 21, 2014 at suburban kamikaze