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I can't easily explain it: a link between an unexpectedly named day, a song I didn't understand, and a set of unfamiliar feelings.... It's been a bit odd: I was throwing references to this stuff at my friends all day... Continue reading
Posted Jun 5, 2018 at in the hall of mirrors
The sky is a mixture of dim golds and blues.... ••• Last week, we had four beautiful days of summer. Early May; those four days were strictly delimited – the weather was forecast to change on the fifth day to... Continue reading
Posted May 14, 2018 at in the hall of mirrors
I think: there's a smell of doom, and power, in the room... ••• I am working on my thesis for the Jung-Institut, which is on the verge of being late, or too late; is methodologically not yet solid; is built... Continue reading
Posted Apr 29, 2018 at in the hall of mirrors
14:23 = 2:23 pm 10 March 2018 = Saturday ... Having left M. with a hug at the station (one of those hugs between men that always make me wonder, in a flash, whether non-gay locals find this unusual, but... Continue reading
Posted Mar 13, 2018 at in the hall of mirrors
The six-hour essay exam is about to end: I am in the small, coolly organised office at the top of the building, looking down across the garden to the lake. I have eaten my lunch at the table to my... Continue reading
Posted Feb 27, 2018 at in the hall of mirrors
[A week in Cape Town, South Africa, at the end of July 2017... continued from part 1. Yes, I did take a long time to finish writing this!....] ••• On Tuesday morning we are good and organised tourists: or really... Continue reading
Posted Jan 22, 2018 at in the hall of mirrors
'Three in the morning' has shown up in several of my published papers around AIDS since the mid-1990s. It generally refers to the same nexus of memory, feeling, implications: a quality of being in a hospital room, an anonymous room... Continue reading
Posted Nov 22, 2017 at in the hall of mirrors
And so, with various fussing and excitement and minor anxiety, and bringing a lot of medications related to digestive and allergic side effects, I boarded an airplane... and journeyed to the Fifth Continent. ••• Not the world's fifth continent, but... Continue reading
Posted Oct 21, 2017 at in the hall of mirrors
We agreed that today would be the final session of my own psychoanalysis… Strangely enough, this is the smoothest, most successful ending to an analytic relationship I’ve ever had. With each of the other three Jungian analysts, things went somewhat... Continue reading
Posted Sep 1, 2017 at in the hall of mirrors
Reading about Chronos and Kairos: clock time and experiential, 'aware' time. (It's only a couple of months since I first learned that Chronos is not Kronos... an error caused by the similarity of the English sounds; in Greek they are... Continue reading
Posted Aug 19, 2017 at in the hall of mirrors
The last three days of being in Zürich... ••• Wednesday, 9:30 am: Dunbar gives his first lecture of the week at the Jung-Institut; he has visited here before, and he led a session of Nancy's online seminar this spring. His... Continue reading
Posted Jul 12, 2017 at in the hall of mirrors
The first of these exams was the longest – Dr Weskamp, Dr Lüscher and a third woman I don't know go over one of my case reports, with dreams. The case is their selection, not mine – they are obviously... Continue reading
Posted Jul 1, 2017 at in the hall of mirrors
The school year wound up remarkably firmly, last Friday... which was welcome. Yes, well, a few more things came up – a plagiarism case (that turned out not to be one, which made life easy), a handful of students rejected... Continue reading
Posted Jun 21, 2017 at in the hall of mirrors
[From about a month ago, in late May – a sketch with no particular punch line.] A lovely day... very warm by local standards, but relatively normal by my own, and those of Californian (and Australian and Italian and Spanish)... Continue reading
Posted Jun 21, 2017 at in the hall of mirrors
The eleven-year anniversary of this blog.... Well, hey, it matters to me. A bit. ••• After a brief but unpleasant virus – probably caught on that hasty train south and back – everything has a slightly disconnected feel to it:... Continue reading
Posted May 14, 2017 at in the hall of mirrors
A dream fragment: One of two simultaneous dream narratives, partly remembered – don't remember the other one. A friend and I are at the front door of a house, a porch light over the door; an old woman is inside.... Continue reading
Posted May 12, 2017 at in the hall of mirrors
Maundy Thursday. In the night I wake coughing – side effects I think, but perhaps I also caught a minor cold on the train back on Wednesday. Paracodeine (given to me by Antonio, a couple of years ago – I... Continue reading
Posted Apr 14, 2017 at in the hall of mirrors
So: in a burst of extraordinarily blinkered and sociopolitically aggressive pettiness, the UK government pulls us out of the EU. I've been joking for months that I have two passports, but unfortunately they're the ones nobody wants... but just try... Continue reading
Posted Mar 28, 2017 at in the hall of mirrors
I keep noticing that, over the past few months, I post more pictures of hot guys on Facebook. I am more frank about commenting on attractive men, including plausibly non-gay ones. I am blunter, and more direct... On the one... Continue reading
Posted Mar 23, 2017 at in the hall of mirrors
Perhaps the problem is one of time... Yes, I am influenced by finally (i.e., at a later point in time than anticipated within the implied framework of some unspecified but apparently familiar system of planning) seeing Arrival. But also wandering... Continue reading
Posted Mar 15, 2017 at in the hall of mirrors
From the chilly, detached sadness of last week, unexpected changes – a day and a bit that were more entwined with the life, and lives, around me – Friday, an official reception – you know the drill: speeches, food, suits,... Continue reading
Posted Feb 15, 2017 at in the hall of mirrors
If you think about it all: rot, chaos, aggression. Disintegration. But my desk remains, my job remains, my friends and colleagues remain... I buy food, talk to students, plan trips. There are no problems. To be honest, there have been... Continue reading
Posted Feb 8, 2017 at in the hall of mirrors
A dramatic year... One that stank for the world, of course: major moves into aggressive idiocy. But it's not very interesting to talk about Brexit and the UK, Trump and America. Or about dead celebrities – some good people are... Continue reading
Posted Dec 31, 2016 at in the hall of mirrors
... You didn't really think you were having strokes, did you. Well, if memory – no, I suppose not; there would be other symptoms? Yes, there would. So: dissociation. But more dissociation than I should expect, yes? That sense over... Continue reading
Posted Dec 29, 2016 at in the hall of mirrors
Shopping, shopping: but the sizes keep being wrong. A bag is missing: where did I go yesterday, where could I have left it? A shower to recover clarity, remembering the handsome young man who caught up to me in the... Continue reading
Posted Dec 28, 2016 at in the hall of mirrors