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penny
I'm a writer and editor with two grown children and four grands.
Interests: parenting, yoga, bicycling, novels about India, memoir writing
Recent Activity
the tricky part is that determination of danger. But we're all in the same boat--wanting to help; needing to keep out mouths shut. Until our kids really need the benefit of our experience.
Yes, everyone parents differently and every child is different and has different needs. But overall, as you suggest, advice is best given when it's asked for. thanks for stopping by.
Seth Meyers says it best:Grown kids want support from their parents. Not advice. Continue reading
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There comes a time in the life of every family when the Bank of Mom and Dad has to close--or at least limit its lending policies. Continue reading
Amazon Prime, a long-distance granny's best friend. Almost like being there.
that's my operating method as well. anything else is pure bonus.
How truly delightful. The best surprise! thanks for sharing.
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The gift of a book: Whether our grandkids read it or not, it's on their shelf and sent with our love and imprimatur. Continue reading
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We may feel sad when our kids leave home, but even worse if they boomerang back. Continue reading
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We give our kids a gift when we let them struggle to be financially independent. Continue reading
I know. There's nothing like hearing their voice to know if they're happy or sad; if things are going well or ill. No emoji in the world can tell a parent that. hope all's well. talk to you soon.
Skype held us together when my daughter and her family lived in Berlin for a year. It is so much more satisfying than a phone call. I remember Skyping with my daughter while she was in her kitchen in Berlin making lunch. She'd wander off to the stove to stir the pot and then come back into view. We ended up having lunch together. There was something special about being one on one and able to chat about this and that as tho we were in the room together. Which we were. Sort of.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts on being bankers to grown children. When independence is the guiding light of our parenting, it can seem irrational to pay a grown child's bill for basic (and non-emergency) needs such as rent or the cell phone bill. Every family has its own guideposts, especially as our children take their first steps up the career ladder. It's knowing when enough is enough, when our helping hand is being treated as an entitlement. That's the tricky bit.
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If we can afford to help out our grown kids, here are five tips on how to handle it.. Continue reading
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When our grandkids say #Enough is Enough, we grandparents rally to support them. It's their lives on the line. Continue reading
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Our grown children do not need our advice or commentary on their appearance. We offer it at our peril. Continue reading
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Our generation is more generous to our kids than our parents were to us--but there are some basic and daunting reasons why. Continue reading
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The times they are a changin'. So are the means our kids and grandkids use to say thank you for a gift. Continue reading
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Even one of the Worlds Most Powerful Moms has had to adjust her parenting stye to get along with her children as they became adults. Continue reading
I agree: The whole calculus changes when children are involved. But there is a line that applies to all circumstances: if we're going to help out a grown child (and we should do what we think is right), we should lay it out for all the siblings. Hard feelings about fairness can only fester.
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There are unintended consequences when we financially support our grown kids--especially when it comes to their siblings. Continue reading
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As our kids reach an age of acquired wisdom, it may feel like they're parenting us rather than vice versa. Continue reading