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I'm a writer and editor with two grown children and four grands.
Interests: parenting, yoga, bicycling, novels about India, memoir writing
Recent Activity
As you suggest, we don't have to keep their old bedrooms as sacred ground. But we do want to have a place in our homes where our adult children feel welcome and comfortable when they come to visit--even if it's an extended one. thanks for stopping by candy
It's a tricky business, isn't it? but bottom line is, as you say, it's the bride/groom's day and their call.
We also commandeered our children's bedrooms--though we waited ten years after they left to do it. They had both put down roots in other cities by then, but there was still a slight sense of shock the first time they came home for a visit and their old bedrooms were not there for them. They got over it.
The kids may have left for college and independence, but they may still need to know their old bedroom in your house secures their place in the family. Continue reading
go, enjoy, be glad for them--and dial back the control. Even if you're paying for it, grandkids add a very different dimension and focus to a wedding. i think parents of the bride and groom who are also grandparents (via the bride or groom's sibling) kind of get stuck in wanting to show off their grandchild. Not the time or place. As you wrote, go, enjoy and be glad for the newly wed couple. All eyes on them.
As parents of the bride or groom, we are not in charge of the guest list, especially when it comes to our grandchildren. Continue reading
That's what's so tricky. As soon as we figure out how to use an "on fleek" it has flecked away. But it's the trying that counts--the showing of interest, as the shrink (is that still an acceptable expression?) said.
They have their own games, music and language, but our teen grandkids are not beyond our generation's grasp. Continue reading
We may have to put up with "entitled" adult children, but Chinese parents have their equivalent: Little Emperors. Continue reading
the tricky part is that determination of danger. But we're all in the same boat--wanting to help; needing to keep out mouths shut. Until our kids really need the benefit of our experience.
Yes, everyone parents differently and every child is different and has different needs. But overall, as you suggest, advice is best given when it's asked for. thanks for stopping by.
Seth Meyers says it best:Grown kids want support from their parents. Not advice. Continue reading
There comes a time in the life of every family when the Bank of Mom and Dad has to close--or at least limit its lending policies. Continue reading
Amazon Prime, a long-distance granny's best friend. Almost like being there.
that's my operating method as well. anything else is pure bonus.
How truly delightful. The best surprise! thanks for sharing.
The gift of a book: Whether our grandkids read it or not, it's on their shelf and sent with our love and imprimatur. Continue reading
We may feel sad when our kids leave home, but even worse if they boomerang back. Continue reading
We give our kids a gift when we let them struggle to be financially independent. Continue reading
I know. There's nothing like hearing their voice to know if they're happy or sad; if things are going well or ill. No emoji in the world can tell a parent that. hope all's well. talk to you soon.
Skype held us together when my daughter and her family lived in Berlin for a year. It is so much more satisfying than a phone call. I remember Skyping with my daughter while she was in her kitchen in Berlin making lunch. She'd wander off to the stove to stir the pot and then come back into view. We ended up having lunch together. There was something special about being one on one and able to chat about this and that as tho we were in the room together. Which we were. Sort of.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts on being bankers to grown children. When independence is the guiding light of our parenting, it can seem irrational to pay a grown child's bill for basic (and non-emergency) needs such as rent or the cell phone bill. Every family has its own guideposts, especially as our children take their first steps up the career ladder. It's knowing when enough is enough, when our helping hand is being treated as an entitlement. That's the tricky bit.
If we can afford to help out our grown kids, here are five tips on how to handle it.. Continue reading
When our grandkids say #Enough is Enough, we grandparents rally to support them. It's their lives on the line. Continue reading