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I'm a writer and editor with two grown children and four grands.
Interests: parenting, yoga, bicycling, novels about India, memoir writing
Recent Activity
Do we bring energy to our conversations with our adult kids and our grandkids? Continue reading
Philip Galanes' Social Qs has wisdom to share on the etiquette of correcting the idiosyncrasies of your child's life partner. Continue reading
Our teen grandkids can surprise us with the seriousness of their thinking. Continue reading
I also saw this observation by Obama as reminding us that whoever we are we share happy/sad moments, especially when it comes to our kids. Thanks for finding me and stopping by.
This is part of my three-part formula for leaving a legacy: 1 is the material goods we leave our children and grandchildren; 2 is the story about our lives and how that formed our values; and 3 is more prosaic: clean closets. thanks for sharing
i love that idea: sitting around the table and talking about how we made it through the "good old" days. let the amusing anecdotes begin.
Start now to let your grown kids and grand kids know about your life and career--the funny stories as well as the hard decisions you faced. It's amazing what they don't know about you--and should. Continue reading
we also waited to take over our children's bedrooms. The dad was reluctant to do it. He still hoped they'd come home again. By the time we did it, our kids had put down roots in cities far from ours. They weren't coming home again--except for a visit.
We can complain about them to friends, but there's nothing to be gained by letting our adult children know we don't like their mates. Continue reading
As you suggest, we don't have to keep their old bedrooms as sacred ground. But we do want to have a place in our homes where our adult children feel welcome and comfortable when they come to visit--even if it's an extended one. thanks for stopping by candy
It's a tricky business, isn't it? but bottom line is, as you say, it's the bride/groom's day and their call.
We also commandeered our children's bedrooms--though we waited ten years after they left to do it. They had both put down roots in other cities by then, but there was still a slight sense of shock the first time they came home for a visit and their old bedrooms were not there for them. They got over it.
The kids may have left for college and independence, but they may still need to know their old bedroom in your house secures their place in the family. Continue reading
go, enjoy, be glad for them--and dial back the control. Even if you're paying for it, grandkids add a very different dimension and focus to a wedding. i think parents of the bride and groom who are also grandparents (via the bride or groom's sibling) kind of get stuck in wanting to show off their grandchild. Not the time or place. As you wrote, go, enjoy and be glad for the newly wed couple. All eyes on them.
As parents of the bride or groom, we are not in charge of the guest list, especially when it comes to our grandchildren. Continue reading
That's what's so tricky. As soon as we figure out how to use an "on fleek" it has flecked away. But it's the trying that counts--the showing of interest, as the shrink (is that still an acceptable expression?) said.
They have their own games, music and language, but our teen grandkids are not beyond our generation's grasp. Continue reading
We may have to put up with "entitled" adult children, but Chinese parents have their equivalent: Little Emperors. Continue reading
the tricky part is that determination of danger. But we're all in the same boat--wanting to help; needing to keep out mouths shut. Until our kids really need the benefit of our experience.
Yes, everyone parents differently and every child is different and has different needs. But overall, as you suggest, advice is best given when it's asked for. thanks for stopping by.
Seth Meyers says it best:Grown kids want support from their parents. Not advice. Continue reading
There comes a time in the life of every family when the Bank of Mom and Dad has to close--or at least limit its lending policies. Continue reading
Amazon Prime, a long-distance granny's best friend. Almost like being there.
that's my operating method as well. anything else is pure bonus.