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BERNARD
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Time To Switch Up The Scenery Around Here
This is Carrie Keagan. She is a blonde with blue eyes, very big boobs and she loves whisky. Enjoy your Wednesday, folks. Fuck Jeff Ireland and Steve Ross with 10 dead boa constrictors.
Kentucky Fried Linkage por favor?
Miami Dolphins at Houston Texans Open Thread
Did you know that this season is the 40th Anniversary of the Perfect Season? TRUE STORY! So hey good luck with all your fantasy teams this year, y'all!
Dickballs obviously didn't hear we just signed / resigned Ray Feinga, superbowl baby
Dolphins to face 'Hard Knocks' of a Season, Say Some Lame Writers
Good Lord, I hate these people. I know we suck but fuckin' A at least TRY to be a little original. These guys get paid America currency to do this??
Gonna lift up some rocks and find me some ACORNS WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOHAAAAAAAAA...
Happy National Acorns Day, Everyone!
Clyde Gates, Gary Guyton, WHO ELSE?? WHOOOPEEEEEE!!! Updates here. Yes, I know it's Armando's blog but fuuuuuck it. / huffs nitrous like Dennis Hopper in Blue Velvet
Does anyone have a link to episode 4 por favor?
Hard Knocks Recappin'
Jeff Ireland goes over his 2013 Draft plan Bang it here. Big tits.
"Hmmm any F-bombs in there, hey pick up those towels, gosh darnit there's trash on the field...Mkay?"
Dolphins Trade Vontae Davis
Yesterday your Miami Dolphins decided to trade CB and former 1st rd draft pick, Vontae Davis, for a 2nd rd pick in the 2013 draft. Obviously, this was a genius move for the Fins considering the wealth of talented, playmaking individuals starting for us at every position coupled with the you ...
Yo dudes, can anyone hook me up with a link for the Falcons game so that I can watch from Scotland?
Hard Knocks Recappin'
Sorry for the lack of posts around here, Nation. I've been buried with work (because Florida is fucked up so there's a lot of shit to report, you see), and DRK is fighting a Minotaur somewhere in Greece. But, hey, lots of shit happening with our beloved wretched Dolphins. Last night was episo...
This is the clincher right here, how the fuck can he not sign with us after seeing this....
All we need to do is sit him down at the 20 yard line with Ross, Ireland and Philben (who say NOTHING)and play this to him on the Jumbotron and its a deal
#WAARF Records: Peyton Manning "Your Career Will Go On"
Here's the latest single from #WAARF Records...
Manning is the key to the secret, 18 quarterbacks in 13 years since Marino retired...superbowl is in New Orleans Manning's hometown, we play in the stadium he won his ring in, we play the Colts, he lives here...our roster is primed, he and Wayne are the "plug and play" combo to get us on track...
Too many omens, its written in the stars...
Let's Start The Crazy
Well, it's official. Peyton Manning is a free agent. True story, bro. So now the waiting begins. And by "waiting," we mean SHIT'S BOUT TO GET CRAY. Get ready for rumors, reports, conjecture, predictions, odds, ends, sources, and endless speculation to unload into your face in the coming days a...
Chris, that was my dream scenario except that in my version Manning, Wayne and Saturday arrived in Miami in a Delorean from 2007...
FN Exclusive Report: If Colts Don't Sign Peyton Manning, He's Going To Be A Dolphin
640 Sports' Orlando Alzugaray, who is currently doing his show up in Indy during the NFL Combine, just texted me with some exclusive Peyton Manning inside info. Well, I thought it was exclusive to me, until I saw that he tweeted out the very same thing he texted me. He also put it on our faceb...
Fuck him and his YMCA mustache
NEXT!!!
Your Jeff Fisher Friday Edition Update News Update (UPDATE!)
Nothing. As you were.... Update: Peter King is reporting that Fisher has decided to go to the Rams. But all the waiting was so totally worth it, you guys.
Airwolf is the natural progression from Feed-da-wolf...
"The series' protagonist is Stringfellow Hawke (Jan-Michael Vincent), a loner who lives in a cabin outside of Los Angeles, California in a remote mountain area that was based at Lake Hemet, accompanied only by his Bluetick Coonhound, "Tet", and the surrounding wildlife. Hawke is a recluse, spending most of his time alone with his priceless collection of paintings which he inherited from his grandfather (the art was a gift for his grandmother), and serenading eagles with his equally priceless Stradivarius cello. His only real friend and mentor is the older, eternally cheerful Dominic Santini (Ernest Borgnine) who raised Stringfellow and his brother Saint John (pronounced "sin-jin") after their parents died. Stringfellow's father and Dominic flew in World War II together."
This show was even more awesome than I remember, where can I get me a Bluetick Coonhound ROFLCOPTER
ZOMG! A Helicoptoro!!!
Ah, what new absurdities await us with each morning in Dolphins Land... Last night, Jason La Canfora reported that your Miami Dolphins - heretofore known as 'AIRWOLF' - are conducting, not one, but TWOOOO simultaneous coaching searches as if we didn't have leaks and the internet and people wou...
Matt Moore = Enrique Iglesias
Happy Thanksgiving, Nation!
As always, DRK and I are thankful for you, The FN Army. Without you crazy fuckers coming here to read our goofy shit on a daily basis, there would be no FN. So thanks for that. We wish you and your loved ones a very Happy Thanksgiving. Especially on one where our shitty Dolphins are playing. A...
That pic gives me flashbacks of the time I picked up a honey in Malaga, Spain and was so fucked up from the night before that I insisted that I found a condom before shit got nasty and I ended up blowing the fucking ballgame.
No shit, in my vodka infused state my last memory is this fucking picture albeit the bitch had short hair....
Carol from Malaga, where are you, I am 20 years older and now I have a johnson....end theme from Fandango SAD TROMBONE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZpT_dKux3JE
Keys to the Game: Skins @ Dolphins
So we didn't post a Keys last week and, of course, we win the fucking game. CLEARLY EVERYTHING WE DO IS TIED INTO THE DOLPHINS CHI!!! Therefore, we got Keys this week to try and bring us back into the shitty, muddy, dirty dog brown water world that we are accustomed to. To help, above is a p...
DOUBLE fuckin jackpot
http://vimeo.com/21563957
Dolphins at NY Giants Keys To The Game
Sorry about the late Keys To The Game post. DRK accidentally spilled coffee on the control panel and everything went on the fritz. Anyway.... here are your Keys To Suck For Andrew for this week: 1. Don't Underestimate the Shittiness of This New York Giants Team: This is the same Giants team th...
Jackpot
http://vimeo.com/29481944
Dolphins at NY Giants Keys To The Game
Sorry about the late Keys To The Game post. DRK accidentally spilled coffee on the control panel and everything went on the fritz. Anyway.... here are your Keys To Suck For Andrew for this week: 1. Don't Underestimate the Shittiness of This New York Giants Team: This is the same Giants team th...
A game of what?
Where did you lift the pic dude, gimme the URL
Dolphins at NY Giants Keys To The Game
Sorry about the late Keys To The Game post. DRK accidentally spilled coffee on the control panel and everything went on the fritz. Anyway.... here are your Keys To Suck For Andrew for this week: 1. Don't Underestimate the Shittiness of This New York Giants Team: This is the same Giants team th...
Can anyone find out who the fuck she is, by the power of the internet it MUST be possible?
Dolphins at NY Giants Keys To The Game
Sorry about the late Keys To The Game post. DRK accidentally spilled coffee on the control panel and everything went on the fritz. Anyway.... here are your Keys To Suck For Andrew for this week: 1. Don't Underestimate the Shittiness of This New York Giants Team: This is the same Giants team th...
I'd like to ruin this chick
Dolphins at NY Giants Keys To The Game
Sorry about the late Keys To The Game post. DRK accidentally spilled coffee on the control panel and everything went on the fritz. Anyway.... here are your Keys To Suck For Andrew for this week: 1. Don't Underestimate the Shittiness of This New York Giants Team: This is the same Giants team th...
Cowher's chin chose that sweater, if you mock it his chin will fuck you up
Dolphins Quotation Marks Reached Out to Bill Cowher Question Marks Exclamation Points
There’s no news like conjecture and rumor mongering! And the latest rumor floating around the interwebs is that the Dolphins have "reached out" to Bill Cowher so everyone can get super excited about it until he utterly fails like the other dipshits we deemed "Franchise Savior!" Cowher, now an...
This is fucking awesome and should replace our shitty fight song for the rest of this season.
We Didn't Stop Tim Tebow!
Lately, I've been thinking how there are two fantastic by-products to this otherwise unbearable season: 1) The general shittyness and malaise have allowed us the freedom (via Suck 4 Luck) to REALLY flex the funny muscles and come up with some of our better material during our existence....
That is what you call snatching defeat from the jaws of victory, way to go or as Ric Flair might say "WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iy-LQH8N6Ug&feature=related
Dolphins vs. Broncos Open Thread
POUNCEY FLIP!!
Wow, I hurt for Chad "Old B.O.B." Henne
http://www.jeffbots.com/bob.jpg
Sage is a fucktard, can you get relegated from the NFL if you completely fucking suck?, say like into the Arena League?
MALFUNCTION!!....MALFUNCTION!!...
The Robot Chad Henne hurt his shoulder on Sunday after he took a few steps and fell down. And now there are reports saying he has opted for surgery and is done for the season. I don't know how a robot can be done for an entire season. I figured you just attached the wires, screwed shit back to...
ANy LiNKs dUdeZ...
Dolphins at Chargers Open Thread
Talk it out, bitches. #SuckForLuck
I went to watch the Smurfs movie instead of watching this bullshit
WE'RE TOTALLY FINE! HAVE FAITH! HAHAHA FUCK YOU!
We can't get a fucking first down. We just refuse to do it. Like first downs are made of snake venom and old lady diarrhea. Our head coach cheers like an asshole when we kick field goals. Look at him up there. FUCK YOU, ASSHOLE! And for you Robot apologists who love throwing the number of yar...
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