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ryemom
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Anne Marie: for the record I agree with your viewpoints on the topic at hand. I am also, ironically, feeling slightly bullied here....being called a coward, having my opinion dismissed, etc. because I don't feel comfortable revealing my name to an unknown audience. I have never abused my anonymity. I will let those with real names take over.
Toggle Commented Jun 13, 2012 on Leaders in Rye: Do We Have Any? at MyRye.com
I am not challenging the veracity of this, but truly curious. I have not heard anyone personally or publicly reduce this to a boys will be boys kind of situation, or say that the victims or community are making to big a deal of it. Where have others seen/heard this sentiment? To Anne-Marie- I agree with everything you say about this incident. However, I choose to remain anonymous not out of cowardice, but because I am intensely private. I do not shrink from my opinions IRL, but on the internet, you do not ever know who your audience truly is, so I have made a conscious decision to put as little of my life on the internet as possible. I do not have a facebook page, etc. Again, this is not out of cowardice, but rather a deliberate decision to only be known to those I know.
Toggle Commented Jun 13, 2012 on Leaders in Rye: Do We Have Any? at MyRye.com
Charmian- I understand. I think it is brave to put your name out in this forum but I am just not comfortable with it. I am indeed a Rye mother with 3 kids at Midland. Anyway. I was responding to your initial post that seemed to take umbrage that someone was speaking on behalf of the kids who committed this act. That, combined with the mocking tone = anger to me. I guess I misread. I will bow out of this forum now because verbal jousting is not my forte! I always admire how you hold your own in this crowd.
Avg citizen-I profess total ignorance when it comes to the criminal justice system. But these boys are juveniles and I think they should be treated as such. I also think hazing is being used way too generously, as I see this as an assault. If they have never committed a crime or caused trouble before, and the accusations are true, I'd like to see them receive 100s of hours of community service that would contribute to empathy development, as well as probation. I also think the school district should create a clear and decisive action plan regarding how it will handle these kinds of events in the future.
Charmian- I grew up in a town just like you. In a world just like you describe. I am not going to put words in your mouth or ascribe thoughts to you that might not be accurate, but what I meant by bias is a distinct anger toward those who are perceived as entitled. It was the way you were mocking the letter that drew me to this conclusion. I apologize if I was incorrect. Like I said in my other post...until I read this letter, I too, was blind with rage and feeling exceptionally unempathetic to the young men who committed this crime. What that letter did for me was woke me up to the fact that these kids ARE products of Rye, and something we are doing as a community has enabled this horrid event to occur. It is easy to vilify the kids and their parents, because then the rest of us can continue on with our lives without having to do any difficult self-reflection: as we are so certain it could never be OUR kids. Yes, I understand your personal situation precludes this as a possibility. But I am speaking generally. And I don't think stopping to consider these questions takes sides or in anyway makes excuses for the "perps". I just think we need to be real and not be fools enough to think that once these kids get drummed out of town, our problems with bullying are solved.
Charmian- I have held your view since this horrible incident, and might have been swayed to your side here if it weren't for your mocking and condescending tone. I am greatly disturbed by what happened here in Rye. But at the same time, I am not arrogant enough to think that one day, my kind, empathic, well-raised boys could "never" get caught up in what they might believe is a tradition. While I think the boys should be punished and the school should be held accountable for brushing this under the carpet, I tend to agree that charging them as adults is taking things too far. Charmian, your tone and your comments about the "popular" boys, reveals some serious bias on your part as well as shone a light on my own. Maybe we should both set those aside and look at these kids as someone's children, and not as the entitled jock/jerks we are remembering from our own school days.
Does anyone know how John Ambrose won the right to have a restaurant in TWO places on the waterfront? What was the process by which he was chosen? It is hard to imagine that most restaurant owners and entrepreneurs wouldn't covet a location like this. How could one person, especially one with a restaurant that has received some of the lowest zagat ratings possible, have managed such a coup? Does anyone know what or how this arrangement was made in the first place?
I truly appreciate your explanation of the busing decision, Mr. Feeney. I have been a Rye resident for almost 8 years and never knew why busing wasn't available here. But I am still not convinced it wouldn't solve many problems. You said it only had a 50% ridership at the time. If I believe your numbers, that would mean that HALF of the children and the cars that we see now would be eliminated at peak hours. The 3 most recent accidents were not caused by speeding. They all occured at dismissal. While the Amico tragedy might not have been prevented by busing, the other two accidents may have been. Since speeding wasn't a factor in any of these accidents, I am left to believe that the sheer quantity of cars and children at drop off and dismissal is just a recipe for disaster. Frankly, when I see the chaos of cars and people outside of Midland daily, I am shocked that there aren't more incidents like the latest ones reported. I am quite certain that bringing busing back to Rye is not likely or favored by most. But I am not sure how the issue could otherwise be addressed. I think most people driving in school zones are reasonably aware. Children can be lectured and taught and informed but children, by their very nature, are unpredictable. So unless we reduce the numbers of pedestrians and cars at peak hours, I am just not sure what the answer is.
I know this wouldn't solve all of the pedestrian problems...but why doesn't the Rye School District use buses? I am not saying that I think the solution to our traffic problems is to eliminate pedestrians, but that would seem to eliminate the dangerous mix of kids and traffic that happens twice a day, 5 days a week. When I see the cluster of vehicles and young children darting in and out of cars every day at Midland, it almost surprises me that MORE accidents don't happen.
Ted, I am unaware of any charges made by the park committee people. I am not sure what you are referring to. I also don't know what "ideological blather" you are referring to, as I have repeatedly said I am not an ideologue. I don't know what I have said that has led you to believe I am attached to a particular ideology. Also, I think I have confused you with somebody else. And I apologize. One of the people here made repeated reference to Caroline Walker's newness in town and her view of the park. So in trying to understand what is driving the pro-parking sentiment, I hypothesized that it was a manifestation of class war-fare or old vs. new Rye. If I am wrong, I accept that. It seems clear that parking has been allowed in one form or another on the park for sometime. I will admit I thought this was a new thing. I am still certain though, that the number of cars allowed has increased dramatically in the past couple of years. Before, it seemed like they were confined to a small area, which did not impose at all, to such a large area that it created a huge change in park environment. And when I use the word environment, I mean the park atmosphere you expect when you step off of a sidewalk and enter a park. The last thing you expect to encounter once your foot hits the grass is a car. Anyway, I am still curious about why you are FOR this type of parking. I enjoy your writing but I wish you would just answer me plainly.
Hi Mr. Amico- I can assure you that most people I know only have sympathy, empathy and heavy hearts for you. Unfortunately, those voices aren't the loud ones. At any rate, I appreciate your information on this subject. I truly don't recall cars being on the park. Maybe a handful on busy days but in the last couple of years it seemed as if half the park was covered in automobiles. I am sure a compromise can be reached. Hopefully rational, reasonable people are working on it and will come up with a resolution everyone can feel good about. RM
Hi Ted- I'd love to see these photos. What year are they from? Were there hundreds of cars like there are now? I have been living in Rye for 8 years myself, and I think it has only been 3 years that cars have been allowed on the park. I don't ever remember cars on the park my first few years in Rye. And on a more personal level, why are you FOR cars parked in the park? Outside of just being angry that relative newcomers are taking this on as a cause, I just can't see any rational reason to be for this type of parking. Can you explain?
Well Ted C kind of blew my hair back a bit. I was surprised at the hostility in his post. He seemed to assume that I was connected somehow to the park committee or the past (or maybe the present?) council. Then Charmian gave me a little tour of the myrye blog and it seems that there is a lot of hostility from and toward Mr. Amico, Ted C, the Tartaglione guy and a couple of others. People seem well versed in the action or inaction of the police department, Otis and his admin, etc. There seem to be some conspiracy theorists out there. Granted, this after just a quick perusal of Charmian's rebuttals to some posts. Sorry if I misspoke. Maybe I am misinterpreting anger for passion?
Hi Mr. Jones- Again, I am woefully ignorant of Rye PD issues, political issues, etc. But I do know bad taste when I see it, and I totally agree with you about the police blotter in the Rye Record. That seemed so unnecessary and mean-spirited. I am not sure who writes the blog, but I am often surprised at the things that this person finds funny and suitable for ridicule. Anyway, the one thing that puzzles me is the amount of anger out there. What is the source of it? I know Mr. Amico is often criticized, but his anger is the only anger I can understand. Presumably, we all live in Rye, so right there, that makes us more fortunate than 99% of the planet. So what has happened to the others that has made them so angry, that rational discourse is impossible? Is it all about money? Is it based in class warfare? As a relatively sheltered Rye resident, I am just curious.
Thanks for the hospitality Charmian! I did click on your name and clearly there is a lot of emotion swirling around out there. Of course I have heard of Mr. Amico and have always had nothing but sympathy and empathy for him, but outside of that, I wasn't aware of the strong feelings that exist about the way Rye is run. Anyway, I am truly not connected in anyway to this park committee, but I do agree with them. I also agree with all of Mr. Amico's Midland Avenue initiatives...even though they seem unpopular. I am happy to learn that a pedestrian crosswalk is being built there. That is good news.
Cars don't belong in a park Ted. That is the sum of my argument. I haven't noticed any damage, and I think the duck pond looks ridiculous with that half-assed fence around it.
Ted C, I am not sure why you are suggesting that avg citizen be unkind to me, but I guess you don't like people who don't agree with you. First, let's be clear. Short of publishing my identity, which I won't, because reading through these blogs I often question the mental stablity of some contributers, I can promise you I belong to no group. I don't own a dog. I don't know Caroline Walker or any of the people working with her. The most political thing I have done here in Rye is vote for mayor, and I voted for Doug French. As far as being a environmentalist, I am a luke warm one at best. My problem with the cars on the park, is that the presence of them seem to be directly opposed to the spirit in which the park was created. Most parks are created to provide a refuge, a place away from the hustle and bustle of busy towns and roads and pollution. I just think it is sad to see our beautiful park used this way, and can't help but wonder why parking limitations are solved this way in this case, while other parking in town (train station comes to mind) remains limited, and no creative parking is allowed. There are plenty of times that I want to take my two youngest children to the library, and there is absolutely no where in the vicinity to park. Like avg citizen's beach goer with lawn chairs, do you know what it is like travelling two blocks with a baby, a toddler and all of their gear in tow on a cold, rainy day? I would like to see what would happen if rather than endure this, I parked on the Town Green. I am sure I'd be ticketed and towed in no time, and probably charged with a crime. But I can't, so I walk. I promise you, a shuttle from town would be a VERY welcome sight. Why is using the green space in the park any different? No one has addressed this.
I don't understand why you are so complacent about using what little green space this town has in such a way, average citizen. I said nothing in my previous post about safety issues. But with that said, safety issues should be more than enough of a reason to stop this horrendous practice. Why should a park be used this way? You have yet to sufficiently answer this question. We have limited space in this town, that is just a fact. In the morning when I drop off my son at Midland, there is often no parking. So should I park my car in the middle of the rye rec baseball field? Would that be acceptable to you? Why is this type of behavior not only something you accept but encourage? I find it confusing. It is presumably your park too. And tossing a frisbee in a park with cars driving around hardly has the same feel as if it were the green space it was meant to be. Thank God NYC, a place that has presumably the most limited parking on earth, doesn't take your attitude. I'd hate to see what would happen to central park and other cherished green spaces if that were the case.
I don't live across from the park. I am not worried about the view. I am worried about the total destruction and disrespect of a very beautiful park. Parks are meant for walking, picnicking, reading, ball games, sunbathing and quiet contemplation. It is such a beautiful park and we are so lucky to have it. It should be treated with respect. Not torn apart but cars, rendering most of it useless, in the exact months that a park is most likely to be used. It makes no sense to me that this is the answer to the beach parking problems. We have limited parking in Rye. I often go into town and have to circle and circle to find a spot. I don't get to park on the town green. Why is the town park any different? It is a total travesty that this has been allowed to happen. If I were in charge, once the parking lot was full then the parking lot would be closed. This is what happens at Yankee Stadium, at the beaches all over New England, and even at the Mall. Why do we do this to our beautiful park? I will never understand it.
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Jan 20, 2010