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Scooter Van Neuter
Berkeley, California
Interests: Politics, current events, pop culture
Recent Activity
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After yesterday's article on my girlfriend's success with Jenny Craig, I have been inundated with requests for photos of Sissy rocking her new bod, so here you go. Please don't send me any more requests. PS: Guys, this is a photo of my girlfriend for God's sake, please don't masturbate... Continue reading
Posted 2 days ago at Scooter Van Neuter
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My girlfriend Sissy just called me after reading the post concerning her Jenny Craig diet program. She objected to my inferring that she eats so many brownie desserts with dinner - apparently she does not. According to Sissy, she 'almost never' has more than 4 Chocolate Walnut Brownies, as her... Continue reading
Posted 3 days ago at Scooter Van Neuter
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It's no secret that Sissy used to have a slight weight problem. When we first met, she had been battling a glandular imbalance for years that had all but robbed her of her confidence (not to mention the ability to see her feet). I've watched Sissy try all the popular... Continue reading
Posted 3 days ago at Scooter Van Neuter
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WASHINGTON (WNB) - Israeli intelligence has confirmed that an anonymously-released photo of Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu originated from the Obama administration. The photo, showing Netanyahu dressed in a woman's nightgown and eating bacon, was photoshopped from a White House photo taken several years ago, according to a Mossad spokesman. "It's... Continue reading
Posted 3 days ago at Big Hairy News
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WASHINGTON (WNB) - Israeli intelligence has confirmed that an anonymously-released photo of Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu originated from the Obama administration. The photo, showing Netanyahu wearing a bra and eating bacon, was photoshopped from a White House photo taken several years ago, according to a Mossad spokesman. "It's not even... Continue reading
Posted 3 days ago at World News Bureau
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Editorial by Scooter Van Neuter In response to numerous reader requests for my opinion on many of the top stories, today I'd like to discuss all this depraved sex stuff we're being bombarded with by the media. It seems like you can't turn on the TV these days without seeing... Continue reading
Posted 4 days ago at Scooter Van Neuter
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GROZNY, Chechnya (WNB) - 800,000 Muslims out of Chechnya's population of 1.3 million people rallied Monday against the French magazine Charlie Hebdo. The giant crowd assembled in the city of Grozny to protest the magazine's repeated cartoon portrayal of the Prophet Muhammad. At first relatively peaceful, passions soon escalated as... Continue reading
Posted 4 days ago at Big Hairy News
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GROZNY, Chechnya (WNB) - 800,000 Muslims out of Chechnya's population of 1.3 million people rallied Monday against the French magazine Charlie Hebdo. The giant crowd assembled in the city of Grozny to protest the magazine's repeated cartoon portrayal of the Prophet Muhammad. At first relatively peaceful, passions soon escalated as... Continue reading
Posted 4 days ago at World News Bureau
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Over at World News Bureau I posted my live blogging of Barry's State of the Union address last night. In my report I mentioned the fact that listening to his voice, even for short periods of time, creates all kinds of digestive discomfort in me. Several of you have already... Continue reading
Posted 5 days ago at Scooter Van Neuter
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WORLD NEWS BUREAU EXCLUSIVE Live blogging by Scooter Van Neuter Due to a scheduling conflict (rerun of Blossom) I was forced to record the President's State of the Union address last night so I could live blog it today. Let's see what's happening. There's a large room full of politicians.... Continue reading
Posted 5 days ago at Big Hairy News
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WORLD NEWS BUREAU EXCLUSIVE Live blogging by Scooter Van Neuter Due to a scheduling conflict (rerun of Blossom) I was forced to record the President's State of the Union address last night so I could live blog it today. Let's see what's happening. There's a large room full of politicians.... Continue reading
Posted 5 days ago at World News Bureau
Here's a sampling of recent emails to Scooter Van Neuter.Com: Hi how re you doing today i hope all is fine with you. My name is Anita. I saw you here on internet and i become interested in you please write me back now with my address at anitamunga50@yahoo.com for... Continue reading
Posted 6 days ago at Scooter Van Neuter
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PARIS, France (WNB) - The French government announced on Tuesday that they intend to repay the United States for last week's visit by John Kerry. In what may have been the most awkward foreign policy incident in recent history, Sec. of State Kerry attempted to make up for the recent... Continue reading
Posted 6 days ago at Big Hairy News
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PARIS, France (WNB) - The French government announced on Tuesday that they intend to repay the United States for last week's visit by John Kerry. In what may have been the most awkward foreign policy incident in recent history, Sec. of State Kerry attempted to make up for the recent... Continue reading
Posted 6 days ago at World News Bureau
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I'm pleased to report that Scooter Van Neuter.Com has moved into beautiful new offices. This North Scottsdale facility (below) gives us the room we desperately need to expand our workforce, which we will be doing immediately. Our new building features a gym, movie theater, pet grooming center, indoor pool and... Continue reading
Posted 6 days ago at Scooter Van Neuter
Can't sleep? Don't like your job? Penis too small? Visit our new site Scooter Van Neuter.Com Continue reading
Posted 6 days ago at World News Bureau
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Now that Sissy and I had celebrated my birthday, it was time to honor the icon whose day I share - Martin Luther King. This was the third year Sissy and I have re-enacted some of MLK's most well known moments. A little greasepaint, a wig and mustache, my grandfather's... Continue reading
Posted 7 days ago at Scooter Van Neuter
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Again, my girlfriend Sissy has really outdone herself making sure my birthday is something special! To start with, I was awakened by a wonderful and delicious breakfast in bed! Sissy made all my favorites: cheesy scrambled eggs with bacon, Tatar Tots with bacon and cheese, little cocktail weenies on toothpicks... Continue reading
Posted 7 days ago at Scooter Van Neuter
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As many of you may know, after years of suffering the frustration and heartache of having Martin Luther King Day clash with my own birthday - sometimes even falling directly on it, I decided to just go with the flow and celebrate mine on the same day. The benefits of... Continue reading
Posted 7 days ago at Scooter Van Neuter
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World News Bureau - Today we celebrate the birthday of a well-known and much beloved public figure. While his accomplishments are notable, what this man has not done is even more so: He never plagiarized his doctoral thesis and numerous other academic and public writings. He was never associated with... Continue reading
Posted 7 days ago at Big Hairy News
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World News Bureau - Today we celebrate the birthday of a well-known and much beloved public figure. While his accomplishments are notable, what this man has not done is even more so: He never plagiarized his doctoral thesis and numerous other academic and public writings. He was never associated with... Continue reading
Posted 7 days ago at World News Bureau
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I regret to report that my assistant Mistee is no longer employed at Scooter Van Neuter.Com. Continue reading
Posted Jan 16, 2015 at Scooter Van Neuter
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I guess you could say I'm feeling rather special today, and not just because readership at SVN.Com is soaring like some kind of high-flying, fast bird on crack, but because of the fact a couple of hotties are eagerly competing for my attention! Apparently, my girlfriend Sissy happened to read... Continue reading
Posted Jan 16, 2015 at Scooter Van Neuter
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VATICAN CITY, Rome (WNB) - in a recent interview, Pope Francis warned against making fun of anyone's religion, saying freedom of expression has limits. “Every religion that respects life and the human person has dignity. And cannot be mocked," said the Holy Pontiff as he kissed small statues while wearing... Continue reading
Posted Jan 16, 2015 at Big Hairy News
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VATICAN CITY, Rome (WNB) - in a recent interview, Pope Francis warned against making fun of anyone's religion, saying freedom of expression has limits. “Every religion that respects life and the human person has dignity. And cannot be mocked," said the Holy Pontiff as he kissed small statues while wearing... Continue reading
Posted Jan 16, 2015 at World News Bureau