It's "everybody's" "favorite" night: the night that the "world" "honors" the "best" in daytime televion while a "massive" audience watches at home. Yes, it's time once again for the Daytime Emmy Awards, which almost always turns into two hours of us making cartoonishly over-the-top confused faces at our televisions while former popstars and sitcom child actors perform in skits and thinly disguised commercials for tourist destinations. Also, the best actors and actresses on soaps sometimes walk away with awards and when they don't, we say angry things and swear a lot. Aren't you excited to spend the evening with us? <a href="http://www.coveritlive.com/mobile.php/option=com_mobile/task=viewaltcast/altcast_code=bf1007d7d2" _mce_href="http://www.coveritlive.com/mobile.php/option=com_mobile/task=viewaltcast/altcast_code=bf1007d7d2" >The 2013 Serial Drama Daytime Emmys Liveblogging Extravaganza</a> Continue reading

We have been terrible at posting these, but they are still happening! Check out our monthly column in Soap Opera Digest, where this month we sounded off on our thoughts on GH as well as the returns of OLTL and AMC. My Take by Mallory Harlen I’ve become increasingly concerned for the citizens of Port Charles. And not just because of the dangers they face on a regular basis: constant mob wars, plans by supervillains that throw the entire town into chaos, the constant threat that you’ll catch Carly on a bad day and you’ll be collateral damage in her latest vendetta (or, worse, that she’ll start to confide in you about her problems). No, I’m more worried about what will happen to them once they are admitted to General Hospital, likely for injuries sustained in any of the aforementioned situations, because the medical care they are likely to receive there is questionable. Does anyone really feel comfortable right now putting their lives in Patrick’s hands? It’s not that I object to Patrick being trapped by a crazy woman claiming to be pregnant with his child—well, actually, I do object to that because of all people on this show, Patrick... Continue reading

The most ridiculous part of my day was not the sheer and utter GLEE I had at the return of All My Children and the way I actually squealed when the show opened with Brooke and Adam, because none of that is ridiculous at all. It's expected: Chandlers and Hubbards and Cortlandts are back in our lives. The only reaction a person should be having is GLEE. No, the most ridiculous part of my day was looking at the AMC/OLTL Premiere note I had written in my planner, as if I actually needed a reminder. I have an impeccable memory to start with so I almost definitely wouldn't have forgotten it and also, it's kind of a huge deal that I've been talking about incessantly for weeks to anyone who would listen and by "would" I mean, "was in close quarters in which escape wasn't an option". So why I felt the need to write myself a note is a little beyond me, unless Early-April Mallory just wanted to leave it there as a treat so that Mid and Late-April Mallory could get all flaily everytime she noticed it. I'm not even going to pretend like I have the presence... Continue reading

Our afternoons have felt undeniably sadder ever since ALL MY CHILDREN and ONE LIFE TO LIVE aired their finales. There are still times that we'll look at the clock during the 1 and 2PM hours and sigh wistfully. "What sort of nefarious plots would David Hayward be hatching right now, with that smug smile of his?" We ask. “In what regal and well-intentioned manner would Dorian Lord screw up the lives of everyone she loves this week and, most importantly, which hat would she be wearing while doing it?” We wonder. Our lives were a little emptier without the Chandlers and the Hubbards and Ryan Lavery (just kidding--we wanted to inject a little levity here before the schmaltz police arrested us.) The days seemed a little longer and lonelier without the Buchanans and the Hubbards and Robert Ford (okay, kidding again on that last one). But--and it's actually impossible for us to overstate our excitement about this. It's like our birthdays and a year's worth of holidays, plus our teams winning the Super Bowl and World Series all at once. And even that comparison is a little subdued compared to how we're actually feeling--we are finally going to be reunited... Continue reading

Our celebration of General Hospital's big 50th anniversary continues, and this look back is accompanied by a soundtrack of some classic slow jams. That's right: it's time to talk romance and it's really an embarrassment of riches. So many wonderful couples! Way too many to name, so we apologize in advance for any omissions--please post your favorites in the comments and join as as we swoon, sigh and get all giddy as we reminisce about our Favorite General Hospital Couples. LUKE AND LAURA Duh. BRENDA AND JAX...AND BRENDA AND SONNY We could argue about this until we are blue in the face (and we really do mean "we": Louise and Mallory could easily debate this pressing issue for hours, loudly and passionately and with various YouTube clips as evidence. "AS YOU CAN SEE HERE at moment 4:02, Brenda's eyes literally light up when Jax enters the room!"), but nobody can deny that both of these pairings (and the triangle in general) are iconic. Vanessa Marcil, chemistry magnet that she is, sparkled with both Maurice Benard and Ingo Rademacher. You could almost (almost!) admit that you could even see why the other Brenda-loving fanbase was so popular (even though they were... Continue reading

On April 1st, General Hospital will be celebrating its 50th Anniversary and we couldn't be more excited. For the returns of much-loved characters. For the copious amounts of flashbacks we hope/politely but firmly request the show air. For the Nurse's Ball. For the show being lightyears better than it was the last time it celebrated a milestone anniversary. We're all jazz hands and celebratory bottles of champagne at Serial Drama Headquarters! (Okay, we don't actually have official headquarters, but if we did they would be fabulously decorated and also filled with celebratory bottles of champagne) In honor of the big day, we're going to be taking a few trips down memory lane and indulging in some prime reminiscing and we'd love to hear from you, our wonderful readers! Let's start with our Favorite General Hospital Characters. But! Before we officially start the reminiscing, a DISCLAIMER: these are only our opinions. We are sure many of you (possibly even most of you!) will disagree with our choices and will roll your eyes at our taste. That is fine! We welcome your commentary and additions. And this list is by no means exhaustive, either--we've probably excluded about a dozen of our own... Continue reading

Daytime television's 2012 was a soap opera of its own, featuring heartbreaking loss (we will never fully be over the loss of One Life to Live, will we?), a rekindled love affair (if people were still using Trapper Keepers, ours would be emblazoned with "I Heart GH!") and a twist that neither of us saw coming when we sat down to work on our annual Best and Worst list. "I...think we might actually have more bests than worst." "I think you're right. And actually, I have another best to add to the list..." That has never happened before! Oh, sure, it wasn't a perfect year and we have a lot to complain about (please read on!), but usually, our Bests are sarcastic and contain nuggets of misery within the ostensible compliment, so this is a brand new experience for us. If 2013 continues this trend, we may need to change our tagline to "We don't mock soaps and our feelings are hurt by people who do". Let's take a look back at the year that was... Best Exit Kimberly McCullough as Robin, General Hospital Nobody was sadder than we to lose the amazing Kimberly McCullough, but we suppose that if... Continue reading

You know, the utter nonsense that Konnie's behavior is a signal to absolutely no one that this is not just an integrated Kate and my continuing consternation regarding the implication that Elizabeth, a grieving mother, decided to alter DNA results to keep another grieving mother from finding out her child is alive are two major, major things that made it hard to enjoy today's episode unencumbered. But you know what? Oops. I did! Now, the guest list was a bit baffling. Lulu, sure. Olivia, sure. Felicia being the mother of the planner and the girlfriend of the bartender, sure. Kristina, as the daughter of the groom and Sam, as her sister? Okay. Starr, as a favor to Michael? Please. Elizabeth, as a.... way to show her looking guiltily at Sam? That's about all I got there, other than a tenuous connection to Olivia. Remember OriginalKate and her friendships with Alexis and Diane? HELLO? (Plus, don't we love those two in party mode?) And it was equally contrived to have Spinelli at the bachelor party, since Sonny treats him like he's lower than spit. But no matter. It was fun anyway. First of, damn, Lizzie! First of, looking seriously hot. Second... Continue reading

You think I'd have prepared better for this; after all, it happens every year after one of HBO's awesome yet depressingly abbreviated seasons and I've been thinking about it since June 11th (I am a sick person. I realize this). But here I am, the way that I am every year when True Blood draws to what I am sure will be a blood-drenched, dizzying-ly awesome finale: depressed at spending Sunday nights during a long autumn and winter and fall somewhere besides Bon Temps. WHY are the seasons only twelve episodes long?! HBO is the cruelest of all the networks. As you have surely noticed, True Blood coverage stopped around these parts this season and it certainly wasn't for a lack of discussion topics because--holy shit--this show continues to be insane and nearly every episode this season was a nonstop rollercoster of INSANE. No, life got completely crazy and my schedule was all thrown off. And no, none of the above is code for "I was legally prohibited by court order from discussing Alexander Skarsgard", I swear! There is SO MUCH to say about this season and I am sure there will be SO MUCH to say about tonight's season... Continue reading

It's not that I planned to take a blog hiatus, although in retrospect I probably should have, because this happens every two years. Every two years, I suffer from what can only be described as Olympics mania. I eat, breathe, and sleep the Olympics. I talk about them to anyone who is willing to listen and will settle for talking about them to anyone visibly uncomfortable but without a means of escape. I do dorky/awesome things at work like create a medal count bulletin board. I daydream about the US Swim Team. And I pretend to seriously debate between watching General Hospital and watching water polo; water polo always wins. And when I DO tear my eyes away from the various NBC channels long enough to watch and blog about General Hospital, I do ridiculous things like trail off at the end of a sentence and ask questions like, "And then Sonny said--wait, Rogers and Dahlhausser WHAT?" (but really, Rogers and Dahlhausser what?!) or--and I think this is even more embarrassing--write "witty" sentences incorporating Olympic events. Like talking about things going "swimmingly" and how John McBain has "vaulted" into my heart and there have been a lot of "diving" puns... Continue reading