This is ShawnaChampion's Typepad Profile.
Join Typepad and start following ShawnaChampion's activity
Join Now!
Already a member? Sign In
ShawnaChampion
Recent Activity
ShawnaChampion added a photo at Post the Love
Thumbnail
The world wouldn't be a world if people didn't cause drama, if accidents didnt happen. The world would be a lonely place. Nobody in this entire world is perfect. People have there imperfections. I mean I'm not perfect. I go through out my life with my insecurities rising, and my self esteem lowering. I can't look into a mirror with out crying at myself. I've done to many things to myself to even count. It's just terrifying. The things people do these days to other people just for who they are. It's rediculous. People judge me everyday. They tell me they hate me, that I'm fat, I'm not perfect, and never will be. I'm sick of every person passing by me telling me I need to make different choices and get a new life. Yeah, I realize I need help. But help is on the way. I may have some disorders, I may cut. But so. Like I said I'm not perfect. People need to go through out there life and realize if they were the person being hurt and told these things, imagine how you would feel. It's quite terrible.
May 2, 2012
I'm so sick of people thinking they know everybody. Sick of Tim thinking they know what every person is going through everyday of there life. Some people might show it, but most won't. People don't have the right going around... Continue reading
Posted May 2, 2012 at Post the Love
ShawnaChampion added a photo at Post the Love
Thumbnail
I'm so sick of people thinking they know everybody. Sick of Tim thinking they know what every person is going through everyday of there life. Some people might show it, but most won't. People don't have the right going around judging other people for who they are. They chose the way they want to live, you don't have to criticize there decisions. There life isn't going to impact your if you don't know them. Why waste time making fun of, spreading rumors, starting crap, and anything else possible with someone you don't even know, someone your judging by there looks, when you can be having happy life, not worry about the people you don't know. Not judging every person you pass that doesn't look, act, or even talk like you. Every person isn't the same. Every person is always different from one another. Every single person in this entire world, is beautiful in there own way.
May 1, 2012
sometimes people kill me by denying that. they themselves, haven't lived it to judge us.
Toggle Commented May 2, 2012 on No title at Post the Love
ShawnaChampion added a photo at Post the Love
Thumbnail
This is what people think. But it's not true.
May 1, 2012
Can I just quit trying? Everytime i try to help you, it seems like you push it all back into my face. I'm dying inside. I know what it feels like. I feel like you don't even care what I... Continue reading
Posted May 1, 2012 at Post the Love
Hi. My name is shawna champion. I have done a lot of things in my life, some good, some bad. Not all I m proud of. Mainly the things that have hurt me. I can be a very depressional person. A lot of things can get to me, and that's why I do the things I have done and still do. Everything I do revolves around my depression. It makes me more self concious then ever. I have a lot of stories, and I hate to talk about them, but I guess to get it out is better then leaving them in. About a year ago, I was in the worst depression stage I could ever be in. I was at my cousins house on faebook talking to some friends. Next thing I know, I got a message. I completely remember this message. The message said that the person didn't even know why I had friends. They called me fat, ugly and anything else to bring me down. At the time, I didn't know I had derision. So I thought nothing of it. I just thought whatever there wrong and I don't care. The next day I had gone to school. The message wasn't over. Every person I passed, said the same thing the message did. The whole entire day, I was in the bathroom crying. I couldn't bare to be seen anymore. I simply just wanted to die. This continued for the entire week. I told nobody about it because I didn't think they would care. Everyday that week, I came home and went straight to my room crying. I did nothing but cry. I did one other thing. Everynight when I went to bed, I sat there all night cutting myself. To this day, I have billions of scars up and down my arms, all over my hips. I hated myself. I didn't want to be alive. All I wanted to do was die. I said to myself "nobody cares about me, why am I alive?" I sat there thinking. 5 minutes had passed although it seemed like hours. I couldn't help it anymore. I had to. I ha brought a very sharp blade with me. My cousin had gone through my bag earlier and found it. But she didn't think I was like that and thought noting of it. I took that blade out of my bag and just stared at it. I thought twice about what I was about to do. I took the blade and slip it up and down my arm, not caring. I had just cut myself atleast 10 times.I looked at the blade with the blood all over it. It was killing me, but I knew it had to be done. I walked downstairs to the bathroom while blood was dripping off my arm, as I could barely see and walk. There was a trail of blood leading all the way to the bathroom. I sat there staring at myself in the mirror. Everything was told, was true. I couldn't stop crying.10 minutes had passed. I was now staring at the blade, as it laid there on my bleeding arms and wrists. I grabbed some toilet paper and used my blood to wrote goodbye. I sat it on my lap. I took the blade and slid it once right across the main veins of my wrist. I couldn't see anything, felt light headed, and fell back. I thought I was dead. My cousin had come downstairs and had seen the trail of blood. She thought "maybe she just had a bloody nose," and continued to walk to the bathroom. She found me laying there on the ground with the note on my lap. She screame at the top of her lungs. I could hear her, but it was a very faint sound. Her parents had run out of there room just down the hall. Were they had found her sitting Ned to me holding my hand crying her eyes out. Her parents looked at me and read the note. The quickly picked me up and rushed me to ER. The doctor tried getting a pulse, they got nothing. The hooked me up to this machine to keep my heart beating. They stitched my Main cut together and put bandaids on the other. I woke up the next morning. I couldn't remember anything. I looked at my arm and seen it was all wrapped up. I was terrified. My aunt and uncle had been sitting there waiting for me to wake up. I looked at them and asked them what had happened. They grabbed the toilet paper and showed it to me. I grabbed it and started crying. I wanted to be left alone. I kept looking at the toilet paper and reading it out loud. Why didn't they just let me die? My life was miserable. I didn't want to be here anymore. This was one of the most dangerous things I have done to myself to hurt myself. But that's not the only thing I've done. The beginning of 8th grade had started. While all this was happening I decided to starve myself. I hadn't eaten the entire summer. And it was about tongon on to 6 moths of nothing but water and a little bit of something every month. Instated to eat until everything had happened again. Everyday I became more and more hurt. I stopped eating and it has been 3 months. Almost one month ago my boyfriend Tim had come into my life. I told him about My problems and he told me he was Gonna help me get through it and so did my best friend Amanda. I promised them I would start to eat again, but it was difficult. I threw up everything I ate. I felt like dying again. I cut myself in the same exact place as I did when I tried killing myself. But I stopped before it got to deep. To this day, I can't believe anything anybody tells me. I still hate myself. I run 2 miles everyday and work out constantly. I wish I was a different person. Tim and Manda are the only two who know what I go through everyday.
here's the paper :/
thanx.(: I have a lot of stories and mainly all of them are bad. it's very depressing. I have written a paper on 2 of them as well. the whole time writhing that story I was crying :/ I've done a lot of things in my life too. :( and yet, only some I regret.
I tried telling them once before, they took it as a joke. :/ so I'm going to see how this works :(
I quit at my life. I just need help :"( Continue reading
Posted Apr 16, 2012 at Post the Love
no. the last time i tried telling them i needed help they took it asa joke. so im trying toget help on my own, and if that doesnt work, ill confront them.
thanx
Toggle Commented Apr 16, 2012 on No title at Post the Love
ShawnaChampion added a photo at Post the Love
Thumbnail
I may look pretty, I may look sweet, I may look skinny, I'm not. Everything is wrong with me. Nothing is normal. I have depression, anxiety, anorexia nervosa, everything. I cut. Starve myself. Nothing About me is normal. I just wish for a new life.
Apr 15, 2012
The only thing I'm doing is crying as bad as it's raining outside. :"""( Continue reading
Posted Apr 15, 2012 at Post the Love
I know I've already posted this, but I need more people to know. I need more suggestions for help. More people to know my life. To help me. Hi. My name is shawna champion. I have done a lot of... Continue reading
Posted Apr 15, 2012 at Post the Love
I need someone to help me. Who can deal with depression, and cutting and eating disorders. Someone who is there to talk ne through things, to help get through life. Who's always there. Continue reading
Posted Apr 15, 2012 at Post the Love
It seems like you don't even want me there for me anymore. That you don't care what I have to say or what advice I give you. Like you don't realize your more important to me then anything. That all... Continue reading
Posted Apr 15, 2012 at Post the Love
You run to me with scars on you wrist, you said this is the last time of felling like this. Skillet<3 :( and I did. But I haven't cut for a week. Just scars. Continue reading
Posted Apr 15, 2012 at Post the Love
ShawnaChampion added a photo at Post the Love
Thumbnail
Hanging with Tim<3
Apr 15, 2012
ShawnaChampion added a photo at Post the Love
Thumbnail
Hanging with my love.(:
Apr 14, 2012
Posted Apr 13, 2012 at Post the Love
thanx guys. the most difficult thing is getting help. I can't keep leaving theses kinds of things in. I need to talk about them bc it will make everything better.
ShawnaChampion added a photo at Post the Love
Thumbnail
My best friend thinks I love my boyfriend more then her. But what she doesn't realize is that I will never loose her over a guy. I will never never love a guy more then somebody who I know will always be there, and always has, not somebody who will or could just get up and walk away; and say "were done"
Apr 12, 2012
ShawnaChampion is now following Account Deleted
Apr 12, 2012