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100 Days to I Do
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You are like a piece of music I love so much that I want to learn its every note, every chord, every harmony. I love the devotion and respect that you show towards your family and your history. The way you talk about your loved ones, and more important your actions, speak volumes about your values and the strength of your character. I love your thoughtful curiosity about the world, and your kindness and generosity when you witness an unmet need. Your joyful willingness in learning about my own heritage has been nothing short of remarkable. As I get to... Continue reading
Posted Apr 12, 2010 at 100 Days to I Do
Though people who knew me from my teenage years to my mid twenties would claim otherwise, I don't enjoy speaking on the phone all that much. As a result, though there is a lot of talk about phone dates and good intentions, I don't talk to many people who are important to me as much as I'd like to. Over time, with all my frenetic cross-country, multi-city moves, I've accumulated friends from all over, for which I consider myself extremely fortunate. This is a reminder to myself that however busy things get, emails, tweets, and facebook updates do not equal... Continue reading
Posted Mar 23, 2010 at 100 Days to I Do
The biggest glaring weakness that has emerged for Chris and me during this process is something seemingly minor, but still alarming. We don't keep track of finances in a detailed manner, and we are both not so great at keeping our receipts in order for potential reimbursements. I hate returning things, and keeping track of reimbursable expenses with the company? Oh my gosh, I think save my company hundreds of dollars a year in unclaimed expenses and if I were a traveling consultant, that would probably figure in the thousands. This is worth acknowledging publicly for two reasons: one, while... Continue reading
Posted Mar 22, 2010 at 100 Days to I Do
I saw this comment on a blog: The process of getting wed is a microcosm of your life together, with concentrated patches of stress and joy as you work out how to become a family. That's why it's a rite of passage. We do ourselves a disservice by keeping quiet about the stress, because the stress is all part of the process that makes us come out stronger and better-prepared to share a life together. Those shouting matches (or however you handle it) are important - it's a time to work so much out. That's my take on it, anyway.... Continue reading
Posted Mar 22, 2010 at 100 Days to I Do
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In some weddings, bridesmaids' primary function is to wear matching dresses and look pretty. Yes, they organize bridal showers and bachelorette parties, but these seem to fall mainly on the shoulders of the Maid of Honor, and the rest just complain about dresses (hopefully in private) and then show up. My wedding, however, is not one of those weddings. Every few weeks, I sent them detailed emails, with pictures, about projects I am working on and if they can promise to help in those critical last week to help me pull all of the workstreams (sorry!) together. Every single item... Continue reading
Posted Mar 9, 2010 at 100 Days to I Do
This coming weekend marks the official kick off to the 2010 Wedding Season. 'Tis indeed the year of weddings for me--not only does it include our own in April, Chris and I have weddings to attend in March, May, July, and August. This weekend is Mae and Jim's wedding celebration, and they have given Chris and me the honor of serving as "junior sponsors" which is a traditional Filipino role of witnessing the marriage and pledging to stay with them throughout their journey. It's so special to be able to participate in a wedding of someone I care about (Mae... Continue reading
Posted Mar 9, 2010 at 100 Days to I Do
Well, not even a re-do, but I see that I've placed "do my taxes" in February a few weeks back, and it's now March...and taxes aren't done. This is part of a 100 Day Project not only because I don't want to stress about filing my taxes in the few days I have between my wedding weekend the April 15th deadline, but also because I am expecting a healthy rebate due to the 2 months I took off this summer between my two jobs. So, this is a reminder and a promise that I will at least start filing my... Continue reading
Posted Mar 9, 2010 at 100 Days to I Do
I was intrigued by this woman's pedigree (editor in chief of Yale Law Journal, clerk for a Supreme Court Justice) and her connections (daughter in law to the Treasury Secretary Rubin), but more so by the Happiness Project she had written a book about. I have not yet picked up a book, but this strikes me as a great first year of marriage project for us, so I wanted to remind myself of it by dedicating an entry to exploring the premise of this book and its author. This book, "The Happiness Project", is a year-long account of the author... Continue reading
Posted Mar 9, 2010 at 100 Days to I Do
Note: I wrote the following on and off to celebrate our parents finally meeting one another over the weekend, but alas, it was not to be. Last minute changes prevented Chris' parents from making the trip down to VA. My parents, however, did enjoy a fast-paced, wedding task-filled, cold and windy four days in DC. I thank them both from the bottom of my heart, and also want to take the time to acknowledge how seriously wonderful both sets of our parents have been through this process. I'd been hearing so many nightmare stories about mothers who want to project... Continue reading
Posted Mar 9, 2010 at 100 Days to I Do
I am using this blog as a platform to acknowledge that I am an aging human being. Nothing groundbreaking here, but when you've spent the first 25 years of your life still very much developing into the person you are, both physically and mentally, it's hard to immediately make that switch into the mentality that you have reached your physical peak in the evolutionary sense, and are now in a long state of decline. It's little wonder that most whiz movers and shakers in age sensitive fields like math, chess, and sports are all pretty much younger than I am.... Continue reading
Posted Mar 8, 2010 at 100 Days to I Do
Chris is very big on walking, as are my parents, so I want to follow suit. My parents are in vibrant health with a very youthful air that belies their actual age. They take 8-10 mile hikes every weekend, which is more than I can give myself credit for, though I've been quite faithful to my earlier pledge on breaking a sweat daily. Taking walks to clear one's head is a cliche, but there's really nothing better. Building upon yesterday's post about compartmentalizing, I think walking is one of the best way to separate one phase of activities to the... Continue reading
Posted Mar 8, 2010 at 100 Days to I Do
If you had a bad day, do you ever, intentionally or not, take it out on your partner or family members? What do you do to avoid this from escalating to more than venting? I've so far avoided taking a bad day out on Chris, but I can see how easy this may become, when he is the closest and the most readily available person to witness me in my worst of moods and the most severe state of irritation. I'd read a biography of George Soros (yes, the multi-billionaire one) where people were marveling on his superb ability to... Continue reading
Posted Mar 8, 2010 at 100 Days to I Do
Ah, I don't like this one. I hate how the term "maid service" smacks of the old class system, and how privileged it makes me sound to be able to afford someone to come and scrub my toilet. However. It must be confessed that Chris and I, though in possession of many lovable qualities (at least to each other), are not particularly strong in keeping things sparkling, lined up in tidy rows. We're decent, we're not germy, and we do clean up after ourselves, but when things are crazy, as they are now, we do let the dishes pile up,... Continue reading
Posted Mar 8, 2010 at 100 Days to I Do
Thanks for the comment, Laura. I think you are right on about a child's home upbringing being the biggest factor behind the formulation of a child's (multi)cultural identity. But at a certain point, perhaps everyone has to make a choice on how "Korean" vs. how "American" vs XYZ she wants to be, and as a parent, you have to let go at that point. Just at what point that is, I'll have to figure out as we go. :) I just hope that my child will feel that she or he had enough experience of both cultures to make a well informed choice, and enough sense of freedom and integrity to make the choice respectfully.
Toggle Commented Feb 22, 2010 on Day 60: Interraciality, Part Two at 100 Days to I Do
The Great Snow Week 2010 was as exciting as it was disorienting. Threw me off my daily routine and returning to life as it was before the snow felt somehow against the grain. So today, in lieu of delayed batch of catch up postings, I am sharing you a week's worth of the Most Boring Tasks of my 100 Day to I Do Project. It's stuff that I've been meaning to post but didn't much fancy writing about because it's, quite frankly, not too fun to write about. · Day 57: Do my taxes in February (so I am not... Continue reading
Posted Feb 21, 2010 at 100 Days to I Do
The Parents. Because of Chris' and my relatively brief journey to engagement (a little more than a year, and it'll have been less than two years that we met on our wedding day), I had not really reflected on the potential consequences of our union to our respects sets of parents. Both of our parents have been married for over 30 years, and have been devoted, loving parents to us all of our lives. For me, though, I am so used to thinking of my parents in that very specialized context of a child that I have a hard time... Continue reading
Posted Feb 12, 2010 at 100 Days to I Do
Here is my resolution: if a satisfactory set of tools and community do not exist for parents raising bi- or multi-racial children, I will create one. I'm going to get super lame and use my day job project management methods to outline my plan: 1) Take an inventory of current offerings on parenting multiracial children 2) Contact the owners and other relevant stakeholders of selected current offerings 3) Develop vision for an ideal forum and resources for multiracial parenting 4) Conduct a gap analysis between the current state and my vision 5) Create a business plan addressing those gaps If... Continue reading
Posted Feb 12, 2010 at 100 Days to I Do
A note: I know "interraciality" isn't a word. I just don't like any words that ends with "--racism" so I've decided to use a made-up word to express the same concept. Continuing from yesterday (well, really a few minutes back because I'm doing another batch posting today)'s point about the fact that Asian women and Caucasian men like to marry each other in America these days, Chris and I have discussed several important ramifications of this (we're not going into the sociological causes of this so-called phenomenon in this medium...perhaps another time in another place). The major factors we have... Continue reading
Posted Feb 12, 2010 at 100 Days to I Do
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I love the picture posted on the wikipedia entry for Interracial Marriage in the United States: The caption is even better: An Asian bride and White groom at their wedding (2004). And according to a nifty chart in this entry, nearly 20% of Asian American females are married to White male (2006). Now, I could approach this in a couple of ways. I could say, "Well, love is love is love, and I don't see color! All I see is love!" But it wouldn't be true. Choosing a life partner is a multivariate equation, and race, culture, and family backgrounds... Continue reading
Posted Feb 12, 2010 at 100 Days to I Do
One can't go it alone, and here are some of the resources that I've found useful in the various aspects of the project. I've tried to list as many free resources as possible because pennypinching has never been in more style! Sane wedding/marriage advice: A practical wedding. Looking at the Internet for wedding planning advice, you'd think only white girls with unlimited budgets and a dedicated event decorator got married. I don't think this is such a grave injustice in the world that merits a rant, but it can get tiresome pretty quick. This site offers some refreshing, authentic content.... Continue reading
Posted Feb 12, 2010 at 100 Days to I Do
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Let's see. After posting a deluge of semi-drafted posts from the previous week, I believe I am caught up. 63 days...a mere 9 weeks away from the 100th day of 2010. I never thought it would be easy, but crafting thoughtful, well-composed entries about weighty matters while working full time and planning for a wedding, along with working out and meditating every day, has been a challenge. A fun, worthy, and energizing challenge, for sure, but not something I've been 100% successful every day. I'd give myself a healthy 90% success rate, though, and I want to use today to... Continue reading
Posted Feb 8, 2010 at 100 Days to I Do
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My dear friend T, recently married herself, recommended this book to me as I was getting into the thick of wedding planning and bemoaning the lack of REAL advice for this important transition, only about DIY favors and 800-dollar bridal bouquets. To give credit where it's due, I was inspired to start this blog after reading the beginning chapters of this book. To re-shift and maintain my focus on what really counted--preparing for a new life milestone that will change the way I live forever--rather than getting completely swept up in the logistical and budgetary details of the ceremony that... Continue reading
Posted Feb 6, 2010 at 100 Days to I Do
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This one is part resolution, part confession. Here's the confession part first, just to get it out of the way: I'm a little scared of babies. Source: http://crazians.blogspot.com/ I like playing with them as much as the next person, but I like handing them off after a few minutes to its rightful caretaker and moving onto the next thing. I know that this isn't a unique sentiment, by any means, but as I grew up an only child without many young cousins or relatives around me (I was one of the youngest cousins in both sides of my families), and... Continue reading
Posted Feb 6, 2010 at 100 Days to I Do
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Do you guys have a marriage role model? The difficulty of this is that when you know a marriage too well,(e.g., your parents' marriage), you see all of its inherent messiness underneath its romantic, functional patina and your own neuroses and memories are too tied to it for you to be unbiased. In contrast, when you're too far from it, without knowing its ugly, unglamorous bits, you can't really use it as a role model. Still, I want to be diligent about finding some role models. I even thought fondly of starting a project where I would ask a bunch... Continue reading
Posted Feb 6, 2010 at 100 Days to I Do
Have you guys read Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience (P.S.)? I want to write about this today, because achieving flow, or ordering the thoughts that enter and exit my consciousness, has been an important part of this period of my life. Psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi's famous investigations of "optimal experience" have revealed that what makes an experience genuinely satisfying is a state of consciousness called flow. During flow, people typically experience deep enjoyment, creativity, and a total involvement with life. In this new edition of his groundbreaking classic work, Csikszentmihalyi demonstrates the ways this positive state can be controlled, not... Continue reading
Posted Feb 6, 2010 at 100 Days to I Do