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Steve (The 24 Guy)
In an undisclosed location
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FORMER Horde Chieftans... it's really bad that I know that distinction. Steve PS. "For the Horde!"
Toggle Commented Apr 21, 2017 on BUT THE BIG ONES ARE FINE at Dave Barry's Blog
At least the sharks in Miami ride the People Mover. Also, Road Sharks WBAGNFARB
When I lived in South Florida, it always appeared to me that using a turn signal was a sign of weakness that other drivers took to me "I'm going to speed up so they can't get in front of me!" I alway thought it would have been nice to have a signal indicator on a car that would show which lane the car *came from*. There were dozens of times a car would appear in front of me, and I had no idea how it warped in that quickly. It would have been nice to know its planet of origin.
Sounds like a "friendly" letter from the Toothpaste Mafia.
Toggle Commented Feb 13, 2017 on EMAIL TO THE BLOG at Dave Barry's Blog
Hi SueW (and everyone!) Like Jeff said, Greg covered just about everything. The only thing he didn’t cover was a scene with the high school teacher that’s involved with the suspiciously-old-for-high-school (“How’s it going, my fellow teenagers?”) girl. She runs into an empty his chemistry room causing his beaker to fall to the ground (not a euphemism). She reminds him that he still be upset for all those accusations of him being involved with students, which could have completely ruined his career, because they’re obviously false. So the first thing she does is exactly what the teacher swears he never did, and she starts measuring his inseam (euphemism), when the suspicious high school boy comes in and catches them. Now, a couple of unbelievable things happen. 1) The suspicious high school kid willingly walks into an empty chemistry class room, and 2) the wimpy-looking teacher some how gets super strength (possibly a relative of David Banner, except without the green) and wrestles the kid to the ground. The teacher yells for the girl to lock the class room in case rule number 1 above might be violated. The high school boy that’s being choked forgets that he’s in perfect position to kick the teacher in his euphemism, but doesn’t, and two head pounds later, there’s blood all over the ground and the kid doesn’t move again. A couple of scenes later, they’re trying to quicker-picker the blood with paper towels, forgetting that A) the body is going to bleed a lot more and B) there are chemical showers in that classroom that could probably do a much better job. That's all I remember. I'm not in front of the DVR. Sorry that was a bit long-winded, but I’ve always been long-winded. I won’t be doing write-ups this season, since there won’t be any live blogging. Perhaps if Jack Bauer actually hears about the craziness that’s happening, he’ll snap his handcuffs, shoot some thighs and walk out of the prison he’s being held in to hitch-hike back to America. If he returns, and there’s another live blog, I’ll be back. [disclaimer: I’m not a terminator].
Toggle Commented Feb 7, 2017 on 24: LEGACY at Dave Barry's Blog
Also watched. As Jeff noted: On the minus side, no Jack, no Chloe... no fun. On the plus side: No Audrey. If that is indeed Edgar's cousin, she's much, much better looking than Edgar and less dead. There's also a guy there that looks like a cross between Stephen Colbert and Andy Bernhard, and someone in charge of CTU that's already been tasered. They're also still saving on light fixtures. So, basically your typical CTU. The terrorist lackeys are as stupid as ever. For the rest of those lackeys: run away from a giant metal tube when it's moving towards you, don't just stand there and be all surprised when it crushes you. Jack, we all miss you.
Toggle Commented Feb 6, 2017 on 24: LEGACY at Dave Barry's Blog
obligatory: I saw Feral Bunnies open for the Animals back in the 60s
Great Year In Review, Dave! One thing we have to look forward to next year: 24 starts again! But without Jack Bauer. Or Edgar. Upside - no Audrey.
Toggle Commented Dec 31, 2016 on WORST. YEAR. EVER. at Dave Barry's Blog
Very sad to hear this. He was always a great guy here. I hesitate to post this, but here's something he once posted, 11 years ago, on my blog: "If, as someone once wrote (okay, it was me), the amount of laughter a funny person generates here determines his/her status in the afterlife, then I look forward to bringing you coffee after we’re dead." First round will be on me, WriterDude!
Toggle Commented Nov 21, 2016 on SAD NEWS at Dave Barry's Blog
I never realized that AC/DC song was about cockroaches
Toggle Commented Nov 16, 2016 on STUDS OF NATURE at Dave Barry's Blog
Carrots are friends, not food
Back when Andrew hit, I remember going out the grapefruit tree in the backyard, and pulling down about 7 garbage bags full of unripe grapefruit. We did not want projectile grapefruit smashing through windows. Stay safe down there, and watching for flying fruit.
Toggle Commented Oct 6, 2016 on MATTHEW UPDATE at Dave Barry's Blog
Stay safe, Walter! You too, Dave, Judi and families
Toggle Commented Oct 6, 2016 on HURRICANE MATTHEW UPDATE at Dave Barry's Blog
"The inland waters have a light to moderate chomp". I still remember hearing that, in nearly every morning forecast, when I lived in FL.
Have you tried turning it off and on again?
Toggle Commented Sep 14, 2016 on EMAIL at Dave Barry's Blog
I know that things are different over there, but that's one large starling.
Toggle Commented Sep 2, 2016 on LOOKS LEGIT at Dave Barry's Blog
That statue looks a lot bigger on TV
Toggle Commented Aug 16, 2016 on SALVATION AT THE RIO AIRPORT at Dave Barry's Blog
Happy Birthday, Judi!
Toggle Commented Aug 11, 2016 on UPDATES FROM RIO at Dave Barry's Blog
I hope he wasn't holding himself in contempt of court.
Toggle Commented Aug 2, 2016 on OBJECTION at Dave Barry's Blog
One would think they would be more familiar with that substance.
Toggle Commented Jul 29, 2016 on THEY ARE EQUALLY DANGEROUS at Dave Barry's Blog
No no no....much easier thing to do: 1) Get some gloves and some Googly Eyes 2) Put the Googly Eyes on the poop 3) Put a Pokemon Go Lure at the poop Soon, you'll have a crowd of people all trying to catch the Poopemon. Gotta Scoop 'em all!
Probably way too into Pokemon.... Gotta catch 'em all! ...wait! That wasn't a Pokeball! Doh!
Toggle Commented Jul 22, 2016 on OBJECTION at Dave Barry's Blog
I always wondered what happened to Jimmy Carter
Toggle Commented Jul 18, 2016 on UPDATE FROM CLEVELAND at Dave Barry's Blog