the new girl's Profile

Ho, hey hey!! It's been a DOOZY of a couple weeks around here. More on that later. But for today: you thought I forgot about FFF, didn't you? Well, YOU'RE NOT THAT LUCKY. So, HERE YOU GO, YOU'RE WELCOME. *... Continue reading

Posted Nov 9, 2012 at The New Girl

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In Three Words

When I am in the process of beginning treatment with a new patient, I do an in-depth interview with the parents first. I ask a bajillion questions to learn as much as I can about what's happening, the patient's early... Continue reading

Posted Oct 17, 2012 at The New Girl

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Memoiries.

So, I have this kind of Mental Glitch (one of many, I know,) in which I consider what the content of my Memoir would be, if I was to write a memoir. [Don't you do that, too?] I've read lots... Continue reading

Posted Oct 6, 2012 at The New Girl

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In Case You Thought You Were Scarring Your Children The Most.

This morning, I caught my Pretty Much Totally Potty Trained son in my closet. Pooping in his new pajamas. Sans underwear. Yes, yes. Lets all observe a moment of silence for the brand new pj bottoms. I, erm, handled the... Continue reading

Posted Sep 30, 2012 at The New Girl

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That Shit About Your Heart Walking Around Outside Your Body After You Have A Kid Is True. Or, Why I Want To Cry About A Game Of Freeze Tag.

"Unfreeze me!!" cried her cousin. She came barrel-assing around the car, running to get to him, both arms extended. She collided with him, hands to tender tummy, and unfroze him--he stepped backwards, scowled and scolded. "NOT LIKE THAT! THAT HURT!"... Continue reading

Posted Sep 28, 2012 at The New Girl

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Just Say Yes.

Once, when I was in a clinical supervision meeting with a bunch of other mental health professionals with whom I worked, I rolled them in the aisles with a joke I made about a theoretical support group for adults with... Continue reading

Posted Sep 24, 2012 at The New Girl

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Friday Night Dinner

As a lot of you know, I host my MIL for dinner every Friday night. The tradition started when TLNG would not allow her super-sweet grandmother to hold her without screaming and we decided to get together once a week... Continue reading

Posted Sep 22, 2012 at The New Girl

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Fat. And Skinny.

I went to pick them up from the gym's kids' club and my daughter looked at me, smiled, and out of the blue said to me, "I want to be fat, Mom, not skinny.*" At the sound of that sentence,... Continue reading

Posted Sep 19, 2012 at The New Girl

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Yummy Quinoa Salad

If you follow me on Twitter or Instagram it's no news to you that I have been on a whole food kick.The idea first came to me from my bestie Lori, who after a weekend of [Truly Whorish Chocolate Processed... Continue reading

Posted Sep 18, 2012 at The New Girl

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Part Of Me Just Wanted To See If I Could Still Log In.

I've been thinking of coming back to blogging. In truth, even though I haven't blogged for ALMOST A YEAR (OMG) I still think of myself a blogger. Really, I suppose, I'm more of a Twitterer these days. I can whittle... Continue reading

Posted Sep 16, 2012 at The New Girl

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Remember That One Kid I Had? Almost Two Years Ago?

He is, in most ways, the opposite of his sister. This is more common than not, I know. The second one is looking for a place to fit, after all. Where my daughter is...full of 90 degree angles, let's say,... Continue reading

Posted Aug 11, 2011 at The New Girl

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Scarred.

I just knew something was wrong--in that awful way you just know. She was running, having been sent to her room, and she slipped and fell. Whacked her face. She got up, crying, and continued to her time out. And... Continue reading

Posted Aug 8, 2011 at The New Girl

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By The Time You've Finished Reading This Post, I Will Owe You For The Hour Of Therapy. You've Been Warned.

Ah, you guys. I don't even know where to start. I've been struggling with Parenting Issues in my little [hidey hole] corner of the internet and it's been...a struggle. It's a teeter-totter-roller-coaster up in this piece and I debate even... Continue reading

Posted Jun 30, 2011 at The New Girl

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What Am I Doing Here, Again?

Don't worry. It's not YET ANOTHER post about how I feel like I have so much going on and so much to tell you and yet I feel YET ANOTHER log-jam in my brain and so I go on and... Continue reading

Posted Jun 21, 2011 at The New Girl

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Fun Fact Friday!

* My daughter, TLNG, is going to be four on Monday. FOUR. Ohmymothereffinghell. I can't believe [we made it this far] it. Four seems, well, it seems like a little kid without any baby left and although there will always... Continue reading

Posted Jun 3, 2011 at The New Girl

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Maybe I'm From Crazy World. Because It Sure Feels Like It Sometimes.

I can't BELIEVE that it's been, oh, over a MONTH since I've posted. So, so, SAD, isn't it? I think at this point, I've basically re-virginated myself, in the blog-publishing sense. Hey look, everyone! It's a brand new blog! I... Continue reading

Posted May 31, 2011 at The New Girl

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Passive-Receptive.

That's the State of Mind that I've been in, friends. Passive-Receptive as opposed, to say, Active-Productive or whatever you want to call it when you're writing or otherwise creatively engaged. So, In other words, I've been Reading and Watching. I've... Continue reading

Posted Apr 19, 2011 at The New Girl

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Birth Story.

I had just taken my last dose of [voodoo medicine] homeopathic remedy to induce labor. You have to take, like, six doses over 12 hours and at 9pm on September 26th, I'd finished it, told my husband (with my tongue... Continue reading

Posted Apr 12, 2011 at The New Girl

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Fucked Up Fact Friday!

* I have been OFF THE GRID for a long time, now, friends. I've lost contact with what a lot of you are doing. I've even been off Twitter. 140 characters were even too many, it seems. PATHETIC. At any... Continue reading

Posted Apr 8, 2011 at The New Girl

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Do You Like Onions In Things?

There are a few things that are absolutely GRATING ON MY FUCKING NERVES right now. Would you like to hear about them? [Too Bad.] Oh, good! Here we go. The first thing is that every single morning for the past,... Continue reading

Posted Mar 15, 2011 at The New Girl

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Fun Fact Friday!!

Ho ho! You thought it was dead, didn't you?! (So did I. Totally.) - For whatever reason, (it's totally a Mental Glitch, I know,) it kind of skeeves me when a man buys a woman clothes as a gift. I... Continue reading

Posted Mar 11, 2011 at The New Girl

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All Right, Already. Manson.

I crack up every time you guys talk about Manson. Oh, if only Manson knew how popular his ass is on the interweb. It would, I'm sure, trigger an episode of paranoid ramblings, complete with crumpled grubby lists and squinting... Continue reading

Posted Mar 8, 2011 at The New Girl

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It Gets Better. Special Mom's Edition.

When I dropped off my son at the gym's Kids' Club, (REFUSING TO SPELL CLUB WITH A 'K',) there was a very upset little girl, being held by the worker. "She's new," I heard her say to another mom. About... Continue reading

Posted Mar 3, 2011 at The New Girl

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You Wouldn't Believe How Long It Took To Write Even This Pitiful Attempt At A Post.

Having been so long away from this space and you, my dear friends, I've kind of...lost my voice. I find myself composing half-posts in my head and then, you know how it goes--I lose the thread before I can sit... Continue reading

Posted Feb 28, 2011 at The New Girl

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Flatlining.

I am searching for a pulse, here. Looking for the blog's corotid and trying to detect a trace of blood pumping through. Looking for a beating heart. Is it...is it...dead? There is no Blog 911. No emergency response team to... Continue reading

Posted Jan 24, 2011 at The New Girl

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