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Tina
Ohio
ex-grad student (philosophy) and Catholic troublemaker. Also--ugh--divorced.
Interests: wine, dogs, cooking, coffee, buffy the vampire slayer, black books, angel, john donne, bread-baking, catholic novels and all others, my bioethics classes, father ted. spiritual reading and theology!
Recent Activity
Tina is now following Dennis
Jan 20, 2011
One other thing: any moron who cares to romanticize the SDS radicals of the 60s and 70s needs to take another look. During the civil rights movement in the 60s people were getting killed. schools and churches were bombed, and the human dignity of a race of people was at stake. The issues were pretty clear. (Nor should anyone start just blaming the South--remember the riots in Boston when the schools were integrated?) It was very different later on, during the Vietnam war, when mass tantrums erupted on college campuses (it is much more fun to "demonstrate" than to study).... Continue reading
Posted Jan 20, 2011 at Lady Marchmain
I watch "Cold Case" in the wee hours because I can't sleep anyway and It is usually about some issue dear to the heart of this 60s child. I know everyone thinks I am a right wing fascist (partly true) but last night I got to remember where my passion for politics came from. The show was abot some lame 50s housewives selling Tupperware against racism (I kid you not--this is one worth looking up) but what got me was the few seconds of films they shot of black people in Mississipi being sprayed with hoses by the southern cops--I... Continue reading
Posted Jan 20, 2011 at Lady Marchmain
A few years ago (the kids were still in school and we were living in Virginia) I met one of the most notorious traitors in our history--Robert Hannssen. I didn't talk to him or anything, just shook his hand and nodded, he smiled-- we met very briefly at a function given by my son's school. He probably wouldn't remember me at all. But I got a good look at his face, and I was kind of interested because I'd heard he was in the FBI. Years later when his treachery was exposed, his face was all over the papers, and... Continue reading
Posted Jan 18, 2011 at Lady Marchmain
What a horrible holiday season--The first sign that things were going to be bad was some fool inviting himself here to "visit" (later he admitted he expected me to marry him, or some other kind of nonsense. ) Hey, idiot, just because you have harbored some wierd obsession for 35 years doesn't make you any more appealing -- you are disgusting. When you tell people you are divorced, the assholes come out of the woodwork. They think they can take advantage of a vulnerable, needy woman. It's very unpleasant. Then I ended up getting very sick and very depressed and... Continue reading
Posted Jan 7, 2011 at Lady Marchmain
Posted Oct 18, 2010 at Lady Marchmain
Today I am (for the moment anyway) at peace with the world. I listened to Vivaldi's Gloria, read John Chapter 14 (I only read the Bible like once every two weeks so don't be impressed) and felt that the world is good. BTW, anyone who wants to know who Lady Mardhmain is, read Brideshead Revisited by Evelyn Waugh. You will enjoy it, I promise. I am reading up a storm (nothing else to do but watch reruns, which I like up to a point...especially reruns of Supernatural and Criminal Intent. Continue reading
Posted Oct 18, 2010 at Lady Marchmain
Go to mass at a tiny little chapel in the Newman Center--it is quiet, and the silence carries the weight of reverence. The mass is said exactly right, if I may sound like a traditionalist snob for a minute. But it is so wonderful when it is done just right--right timing, right gestures, mostly no music (weekdays) and never drawn-out. It is my little "safe place" in Pittsburgh. Spent today in mourning for lost marriage--some days are just like that. And you feel like nothing, like a speck of dust. Another good reason for daily mass. And there are, of... Continue reading
Posted Oct 11, 2010 at Lady Marchmain
I have begun a conversion--or been led to it--or whatever. I read theology all night and try to get to mass every day. Nothing in particular set it off, except that my support group was driving me insane and I decided that if I spent my life worrying about my feelings and nothing else I deserved what I got. Besides which, I was in danger of losing my faith because I hadn't put God first--before you-know-who--gorilla man---for a very long time. I am learning so much, and it is delightful. No, I haven't stopped suffering. No one does, really. But... Continue reading
Posted Sep 30, 2010 at Lady Marchmain
For not posting. I was lazy and depressed (I guess that's obvious. I am loving Pittsburgh, especially the part near the universities and museums. Haven't found an apt because I am too comfortable where I will have to I expect. I like all the students roaming around. They make me feel young, and at the same time very wise. The great thing about cities is the walking--I know you can walk other places but other places aren't as interesting. I am getting used to going places alone (not restaurants, tho). I am reading tons. I am resting a lot.So I... Continue reading
Posted Sep 20, 2010 at Lady Marchmain
I am staying in a nice little hotel for now,until I rev myself up to find an apartment. The only problem is spare time--too much of it. I've watched every rerun of Law and Order three times and I'm reading two books a day. Pittburgh is such a pretty little city. Of course I am lonely and often terrified, seeing as I'm here all by myself...although my son lives an hour away. I do love walking to things, though. Love it. Love the activity. Continue reading
Posted Jul 27, 2010 at Lady Marchmain
Back from the Lower Depths--when I get really down I am just not good for anything , much less posting. Last week the shrink who leads my little support group exclaimed that I was by far the most "negative" ( he meant depressed) person in the group. I think they are all astonished at how glum I can be. Yet I brought them mini scones from Panera. Panera is the infestation i.e. restaurant below the hotel to which we are condemned to buy coffee etc from if we don't want to go searching the streets of Oakland. I am getting... Continue reading
Posted Jul 26, 2010 at Lady Marchmain
Spent all day ignoring tv (it's been on 24/7 for 3 years) reading The Everlasting Man. For the first time in a very long time that I felt safe as I fell asleep. I've been feeling, for so long, that the world is a treacherous, threatening place. New cell phone with too many toys but I can tell my kids good morning and good night. And take photos. My appetite is just about gone and I don't sleep (I read) but otherwise my mood is getting better. I think I am learning not to bang my head against brick walls.... Continue reading
Posted Jul 9, 2010 at Lady Marchmain
Some of the anguish has lessened,Thank God.Being alone with yourself in a new city is definitely not for the weak-minded. Last weekend I even railed at the tv, which has been my constant companion for three years, night and day (seriously). I must be getting better when the lame dialogue really does sound lame. I take it one day at a time and I am trying to learn this mindfulness stuff (there is indeed something called "Mindfulness" and the best source is Thich Nhat Han and/or Thomas Merton and it will make you healthier but that is all I can... Continue reading
Posted Jul 7, 2010 at Lady Marchmain
That was about as much spirit as I could muster today. I am sinking pretty fast.It isn't normal for me to be all alone in a new city in a hotel on a holiday. It never will be. It's like the "missing man formation" they fly when a pilot has been lost. Except that we will be flying the missing man f0rmation forever. It never feels right. Sometimes I can bear it if there are distractions but today everything is quiet and peaceful and I am getting my now-familiar feeling of "where am I?" and "What is this place" etc... Continue reading
Posted Jul 4, 2010 at Lady Marchmain
Have suffered a lot of grief lately. Mostly it is for the kids---they have been so badly hurt, in ways that they aren't even aware of. One of them is shaken to the core about his relationship, or ability to maintain one, with his girlfriend whom he loves and who loves him. All of them have been changed. I don't think this kind of adversity is good for anyone, period.And every day when I wake up I have to remember why I am in a hotel room in a new city, by myself....I forget when I dream that I have... Continue reading
Posted Jul 4, 2010 at Lady Marchmain
It certainly looks as if thiss city wil be my new home--first I have to pay a large hotel rent for a month--unavoidable, and I get a discount. The Beast was especially nasty about rearranging some bank deposits--and he did it mainly because he could, and he knew I'd be upset and worry, which I did. But I expect once he's tired of gloating over my misery he will consent. It is amazing how petty a 57 year old man can be.Like I said, divorce fights are worse than married ones. On the up side, I have some sort of... Continue reading
Posted Jul 3, 2010 at Lady Marchmain
Love and Happiness to you! Thank you for caring. And I am definitely walking on the sunny side of the street