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301. Bush's mom showed him her fetus in a jar. My mom showed me gefilte fish in a jar. Just as traumatic. --@reverendadam
301. mhli'l eze lizfcb ite ico ycdhl tr u suo. en...
301. mhli'l eze lizfcb ite ico ycdhl tr u suo. en eze lizfcb ec kcytvdc ytli tr u suo. shld ul douheudtp. --@ocxcocrbubue
286. emptiness of fall fields / his tractor / still green --@ten_ten_ten
286. osdcqaoxx wy ytvv yqovzx / kqx chtjcwh /...
286. osdcqaoxx wy ytvv yqovzx / kqx chtjcwh / xcqvv nhooa --@coa_coa_coa
lunchtime in the park / a symphony / of cellphones --@xirho
280. yimhjbcvu cm bju qeog / e fzvqjkmz / kr...
280. yimhjbcvu cm bju qeog / e fzvqjkmz / kr huyyqjkmuf --@tcojk (t=x)
this vigorous choking really brings out your eyes. --@thebosha
276. eyvz rvpmfmaz kymcvjp fhdggs tfvjpz mae smaf...
276. eyvz rvpmfmaz kymcvjp fhdggs tfvjpz mae smaf hshz. --@eyhtmzyd
early morning / the whispered conversations / of fallen leaves --@coyotesings
274. // pfayv ncaotom • jbp dbtuipapw...
274. // pfayv ncaotom • jbp dbtuipapw qcozpaufjtcou • cg gfyypo ypfzpu // --@qcvcjputomu
wife mentioned she's getting a haircut today. putting "5 pm: notice haircut" in my outlook calendar right now. --@marcmack
273. xejy wylmenlyh ozy'o kymmelk s zseitcm mnhsv....
273. xejy wylmenlyh ozy'o kymmelk s zseitcm mnhsv. fcmmelk "5 fw: lnmety zseitcm" el wv ncmunnq tsuylhsi iekzm lnx. --@wsitwstq
268. child skipping — / her backpack / jumps too | --@bill312
268. iwtnz botlltqe — / wmx pjioljio / rchlb add...
268. iwtnz botlltqe — / wmx pjioljio / rchlb add | --@ptnn312
i'm almost at the point where i can wipe my butt without looking. almost. --@ohsparky
267. e'b tfbdao to owy qdemo kwycy e jtm keqy bn...
267. e'b tfbdao to owy qdemo kwycy e jtm keqy bn zgoo keowdgo fddremx. tfbdao. --@dwaqtcrn
262. rising wind / the groan / of a moored fishing boat --@cirrusdream
262. whkhoy jhof / mzg ywrvo / rd v urrwgf dhkzhoy...
262. whkhoy jhof / mzg ywrvo / rd v urrwgf dhkzhoy qrvm --@ihwwakfwgvu
259. economists say the recession ended last year. good to know. i'll bring that up at the dinner table tonight over our single bean.--@thedayhascome
259. aqioilrzbz zhe bya jaqazzrio aoxax mhzb eahj....
259. aqioilrzbz zhe bya jaqazzrio aoxax mhzb eahj. viix bi foin. r'mm ujrov byhb ks hb bya xrooaj bhuma biorvyb ipaj ikj zrovma uaho. --@byaxheyhzqila
256. dappled light / in the heart of the forest / chanterelles --@craftygreenpoet
256. bfiigab grnzo / rl oza zafpo ye oza eypavo /...
256. bfiigab grnzo / rl oza zafpo ye oza eypavo / dzfloapaggav --@dpfeoqnpaaliyao
tea party candidate who opposes masturbation wins primary in delaware. wow, must have been some victory party. --@apocalypsehow
254. fpc vcwfm tcsqbqcfp orz zvvzypy dcyfxwhcfbzs...
254. fpc vcwfm tcsqbqcfp orz zvvzypy dcyfxwhcfbzs obsy vwbdcwm bs qpncocwp. ozo, dxyf rcep hpps yzdp ebtfzwm vcwfm. --@cvztcnmvyprzo
248. by hook or by crook, i pledge to stop beginning sentences with outdated idioms that nobody understands. --@stephenathome
248. jv siim ib jv gbiim, f xkyncy ai paix...
248. jv siim ib jv gbiim, f xkyncy ai paix jycfhhfhc pyhayhgyp zfas ilaneayn fnfitp asea hijinv lhnybpaehnp. --@payxsyheasity
245. when it comes to hot dogs or pie, i'll eat anyone right under the table. wait a minute... --@globetrottgirl
245. zyra uo ghdrw oh yho shqw hf nur, u'ii rpo...
245. zyra uo ghdrw oh yho shqw hf nur, u'ii rpo pakhar fuqyo vasrf oyr opeir. zpuo p duavor... --@qiherofhooqufi
239. my wife doesn't like zoos because she disagrees with keeping animals in captivity and yet she fails to show any sympathy for my plight. --@mrbigfists
239. jb isna ozatu'p xsra wzzt kamegta tla...
239. jb isna ozatu'p xsra wzzt kamegta tla ostedfaat ispl raahsud eusjext su mehpscspb euo bap tla nesxt pz tlzi eub tbjheplb nzf jb hxsdlp. --@jfksdnstpt
sunday / light on the kitchen table / i unclip the case / of my regrets / flick through the slides --@ldwilkinson
238. lktxbj / nuvwc yt cwp iucmwpt cbdnp / u...
238. lktxbj / nuvwc yt cwp iucmwpt cbdnp / u ktmnua cwp mblp / yr qj hpvhpcl / rnumi cwhykvw cwp lnuxpl --@nxsuniutlyt
232. i watch him skip / ahead of me / on the path / the little boy / i used to be // --@monkeywillow
232. n rhbzo ona ifnc / hothq my at / mv bot chbo...
232. n rhbzo ona ifnc / hothq my at / mv bot chbo / bot dnbbdt emk / n litq bm et // --@amvftkrnddmr
205. no, google. not a vibratING alarm clock. a vibratOR alarm clock. just do your fucking job without judging me.--@christaland
205. ua, yaayev. uaf o wbrzofBUY oeozl heahn. o...
205. ua, yaayev. uaf o wbrzofBUY oeozl heahn. o wbrzofAZ oeozl heahn. cdgf sa jadz kdhnbuy car tbfxadf cdsybuy lv. --@hxzbgfoeous
204. sir, the good news is that your colon looks great. maybe even the best i've ever seen. the bad news is that i'm just a hobo with a hobby. --@iamnotdiddy
204. "chk, jbd lwwy fdmc hc jbnj owrk vwxwf xwwgc...
204. "chk, jbd lwwy fdmc hc jbnj owrk vwxwf xwwgc lkdnj. inopd dzdf jbd pdcj h'zd dzdk cddf. jbd pny fdmc hc jbnj h'i urcj n bwpw mhjb n bwppo." --@hnifwjyhyyo
197. I'M GOING ON THREE STRAIGHT DAYS OF INSOMNIA. IF I DON'T GET ANY SLEEP SOON I'M PRETTY SURE I'LL BE AWAKE. --@BDGARP
197. F'G HTFEH TE SLNAA VSNKFHLS WKZV TY FEVTGEFK....
197. F'G HTFEH TE SLNAA VSNKFHLS WKZV TY FEVTGEFK. FY F WTE'S HAS KEZ VRAAM VTTE F'G MNASSZ VXNA F'RR IA KCKDA. --@IWHKNM
196. A GRAPEVINE / CONNECTS US / THE NEIGHBOR / WITH WHOM / WE NEVER SPEAK. --@TANKAQUEEN
196. H VMHQOYNRO / UDRROUEZ IZ / EGO RONVGPDM /...
196. H VMHQOYNRO / UDRROUEZ IZ / EGO RONVGPDM / CNEG CGDJ / CO ROYOM ZQOHA. --@EHRAHLIOOR
195. I'M THE QUEEN OF TYPOS LATELY. WHORE'S MY CROWN? --@BETTYLIES
195. Z'A SCL HQLLY UB SXTUI PDSLPX. ECUNL'I AX...
195. Z'A SCL HQLLY UB SXTUI PDSLPX. ECUNL'I AX MNUEY? --@WLSSXPZLI
193. I TRY TO STAY AWAY FROM THE "BUSINESS END" OF PRETTY MUCH EVERYTHING. THIS IS ESPECIALLY TRUE WITH GUNS, PLUNGERS AND ACTUAL BUSINESS.--@CPINCK
193. P IEN IF CILN LJLN HEFU IOD "YGCPBDCC DBZ" FH...
193. P IEN IF CILN LJLN HEFU IOD "YGCPBDCC DBZ" FH AEDIIN UGMO DQDENIOPBX. IOPC PC DCADMPLRRN IEGD JPIO XGBC, ARGBXDEC LBZ LMIGLR YGCPBDCC. --@MAPBMV (V=K)
191. I NEED TO START WEARING A HAT SO I CAN TIP IT AT PEOPLE SOMETIMES. IT'S JUST NOT THE SAME DOING IT WITH MY CROTCH. --@LUCKYSHIRT
191. T OLLU JF ZJNYJ QLNYTOD N ENJ ZF T XNO JTB TJ...
191. T OLLU JF ZJNYJ QLNYTOD N ENJ ZF T XNO JTB TJ NJ BLFBAL ZFPLJTPLZ. TJ'Z WHZJ OFJ JEL ZNPL UFTOD TJ QTJE PI XYFJXE. --@AHXGIZETYJ
190. THE ECHINACEAS TURN THEMSELVES INSIDE-OUT WITH SUN-LOVE, SOME SUNNY SIDE UP, SOME ARCHED BACK AS SHUTTLECOCKS AWAITING THEIR SERVE.--@3RDHOUSE
190. PNS SBNXCLBSLD PAJC PNSEDSIZSD XCDXOS-RAP...
190. PNS SBNXCLBSLD PAJC PNSEDSIZSD XCDXOS-RAP MXPN DAC-IRZS, DRES DACCT DXOS AH, DRES LJBNSO QLBV LD DNAPPISBRBVD LMLXPXCF PNSXJ DSJZS. --@3JONRADS
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