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Twyptogram
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301. Bush's mom showed him her fetus in a jar. My mom showed me gefilte fish in a jar. Just as traumatic. --@reverendadam
286. emptiness of fall fields / his tractor / still green --@ten_ten_ten
lunchtime in the park / a symphony / of cellphones --@xirho
this vigorous choking really brings out your eyes. --@thebosha
early morning / the whispered conversations / of fallen leaves --@coyotesings
wife mentioned she's getting a haircut today. putting "5 pm: notice haircut" in my outlook calendar right now. --@marcmack
268. child skipping — / her backpack / jumps too | --@bill312
i'm almost at the point where i can wipe my butt without looking. almost. --@ohsparky
262. rising wind / the groan / of a moored fishing boat --@cirrusdream
259. economists say the recession ended last year. good to know. i'll bring that up at the dinner table tonight over our single bean.--@thedayhascome
256. dappled light / in the heart of the forest / chanterelles --@craftygreenpoet
tea party candidate who opposes masturbation wins primary in delaware. wow, must have been some victory party. --@apocalypsehow
248. by hook or by crook, i pledge to stop beginning sentences with outdated idioms that nobody understands. --@stephenathome
245. when it comes to hot dogs or pie, i'll eat anyone right under the table. wait a minute... --@globetrottgirl
239. my wife doesn't like zoos because she disagrees with keeping animals in captivity and yet she fails to show any sympathy for my plight. --@mrbigfists
sunday / light on the kitchen table / i unclip the case / of my regrets / flick through the slides --@ldwilkinson
232. i watch him skip / ahead of me / on the path / the little boy / i used to be // --@monkeywillow
205. no, google. not a vibratING alarm clock. a vibratOR alarm clock. just do your fucking job without judging me.--@christaland
204. sir, the good news is that your colon looks great. maybe even the best i've ever seen. the bad news is that i'm just a hobo with a hobby. --@iamnotdiddy
197. I'M GOING ON THREE STRAIGHT DAYS OF INSOMNIA. IF I DON'T GET ANY SLEEP SOON I'M PRETTY SURE I'LL BE AWAKE. --@BDGARP
196. A GRAPEVINE / CONNECTS US / THE NEIGHBOR / WITH WHOM / WE NEVER SPEAK. --@TANKAQUEEN
195. I'M THE QUEEN OF TYPOS LATELY. WHORE'S MY CROWN? --@BETTYLIES
193. I TRY TO STAY AWAY FROM THE "BUSINESS END" OF PRETTY MUCH EVERYTHING. THIS IS ESPECIALLY TRUE WITH GUNS, PLUNGERS AND ACTUAL BUSINESS.--@CPINCK
191. I NEED TO START WEARING A HAT SO I CAN TIP IT AT PEOPLE SOMETIMES. IT'S JUST NOT THE SAME DOING IT WITH MY CROTCH. --@LUCKYSHIRT
190. THE ECHINACEAS TURN THEMSELVES INSIDE-OUT WITH SUN-LOVE, SOME SUNNY SIDE UP, SOME ARCHED BACK AS SHUTTLECOCKS AWAITING THEIR SERVE.--@3RDHOUSE