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Varda
New York City
Varda is The Squashed Mom
Recent Activity
Yup, been there, done that. Had exactly 2 periods this past year. Nearly done. Didn't have a single goddam hot flash and thought I was getting away scot-free but then the stress of my mother's dying this winter brought them on full force and now I am just a sweat machine - yuck! Hope it all runs smoothly for you.
Toggle Commented Apr 30, 2013 on Those were the days at Barnmaven
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A thousand hugs, my friend.
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Just beautiful, Mary. Sad, painful, but beautiful. xoxoxo
Toggle Commented Mar 30, 2013 on Our real lives at Barnmaven
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Absolutely adorable! And Happy Thanksgiving. xoxoxo
Oh my friend, I will come back again and again to read your updates, thoughts and musings, no matter how frequently or infrequently they come. I am so glad you have a good man in your life now. And as you know I too have entering 5th grade kids. It's that precipice they stand upon - right at the knife edge of kid before they tumble into teen. The whole week after his 10th birthday this late July, Ethan kept saying "I can't believe I'm a tween now!" like he'd crossed over into some new uncharted territory and was worried he didn't understand all the rules and local,custom yet. I kept reminding him he was the exact same person he was before his "magical two-digit" birthday and that growth and development are a continuum, while a birthday is just a marker, not something that creates change. I doubt he believed me though. Hugs to you and I hope you enjoy these last fleeting bits of summer.
Toggle Commented Aug 17, 2012 on Passages at Barnmaven
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You are so much more than "not half bad" my friend. Great post. Love the honesty. And now I know you a little better.
Toggle Commented Jun 9, 2012 on Who The Hell Am I? at The Little Mumma
Shari my dear, so thrilled to be a VOTY with you this year! And just think, last year we were Alexandra's roomies, when SHE was a VOTY. Think she's got the good juju and it rubbed off on us. Yay, us!
OK, I joined Urban Sitters! Let the sitting begin!
Toggle Commented May 24, 2012 on Free Babysitting, Anyone? at Mommy Shorts
If a free sitter showed up at my doorstep? I would run off to Tahiti. Um, no, probably not enough time for THAT, right? OK, I would call my 3 best girlfriends and go to an awesome chick flick together while eating the worst movie theater snacks imaginable.
Toggle Commented May 24, 2012 on Free Babysitting, Anyone? at Mommy Shorts
Crap - husband teaches that night. Maybe I can talk him into springing for a sitter so I can go out... Wish me luck!
Toggle Commented May 22, 2012 on Mazzy's Big Screen Debut at Mommy Shorts
Even though I love you all the time? I especially love you when you're up on your soapbox. Because the same things that piss you off really piss me off too. And now *I* don't have to write this post. ;-) Carry on!
Toggle Commented May 16, 2012 on War? or Distraction? Part 2 at Barnmaven
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Love the pix. And this is reminding me... when I get around to clearing out my file cabinets of old headshots from my producer days, I MUST look for you in there.. because you seemed awfully familiar looking when first we met. (Also I KNOW I have a shot of Billy Cruddup in there from when he auditioned for a goody corporate video for me, waaaay before he was famous.)
Varda is now following dusty earth mother
Apr 17, 2012
I take my cell phone into the bathroom with me and hide out for 15 minutes reading blogs and surfing the internet when I have really finished my "business" in 3. Sometimes I even do this when it's dinner time and I haven't finished making dinner, but I really need a break. However, it is now backfiring when my autistic son - whom I have often coached from the other side of the bathroom door on pushing through his resistance to hard stools - turns the tables on me. Concluding that the reason I'm in the bathroom so long is the same one that keeps HIM in there, he stands outside the door loudly encouraging me (as I do him) to "Make a big poop, Mommy! Push! Push hard, Mommy! You can do it! Did you make your poop yet?" Oy vey!
Toggle Commented Apr 13, 2012 on Time to 'Fess Up at Mommy Shorts
Years and years ago (1982) I had a girlfriend who lived in northern California (Arcata/Eureka area) and drove an ANCIENT ('52) dark green Chevy pick-up truck. It was truly a beautiful thing to behold and ride in. She claimed to never want to drive anything younger than herself. Pretty hard to do these days, I think!
Toggle Commented Apr 11, 2012 on The first one at Barnmaven
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Oh, Shari, I had no idea you were going through all this! Thank goodness it all went well & your son is out of the woods. How terrifying though. Big cyber-hugs to you, my friend.
Good for you! Doing something nice for yourself, just because - GASP - you WANT to! they look lovely. You go girl!
Toggle Commented Mar 13, 2012 on Being Girly at Barnmaven
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This makes me feel incredibly warm and fuzzy. I love how "meta" it is on so many levels. Sometimes when I'm holding my iPhone in my hand and thinking "THIS? This has more computing power than the computers on the Apollo spaceships that took men to the moon." it gives me chills. My kids are nine, my parents were born in 1917 & 1922 (2 stretched out generations in a row will do that). Even as a kid in the 1960s (yes I watched & loved the original Star Trek as a broadcast show) I was in awe at how much the world had changed since my parents were young. And when I think about it compared to NOW? It boggles my mind. My kids of course don't quite get it, the non-digital world being completely unimaginable their little plugged in minds. My lifetime has spanned a world significantly transformed. I am excited (and a little frightened) to see where my kids' lifetimes will take us. To the stars? You never know.
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AWESOME! We have a great pediatric dentist now, too. When Jake was gun-shy after a BAD dental experience when he was 3, Dr. Best (yes, that's really his name) set up a series of 5-minute nothing appointments for Jake to come in, sit in the chair, watch the TV and slowly add small things, like ask him to open his mouth, count his teeth, brush his teeth for him, floss him. (And did I mention these pseudo-appointments were FREE - NO CHARGE?) So after 4 sessions of this desensitization, he was ready for a real appointment. Makes all the difference in the world. So glad you found one of the good ones.
Toggle Commented Feb 11, 2012 on Badass Dentistry at Barnmaven
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Hey I don't know how I missed this one. (Up to my elbows in my own & my kids stuff, I guess.) Sometimes all the little things do add up to a big thing. And I know how you know it's just a new label - your kid is still your same kid. You know my e-mail if you ever need to talk, OK? Also I have a number of friends with Aspergers-type kids on the spectrum (so NOT my Jake, but I still keep everything on my radar) And as the kids have become teens and absorbed more information about and become more comfortable with their own diagnoses, they have found connecting to the online Aspie teenage & young adult communities to be incredibly helpful.. It's an "Oh, yes, there are actually people in the world who are like me & can understand me." thing and can be really empowering. Much love & hugs.
Toggle Commented Jan 29, 2012 on The snow fell and I right along with it at Barnmaven
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So sorry you are going to the dentist and suffer from dental phobia (you're not alone in this, you know - remember Schmutzie's posts about this?) but I have to say this line - "Get better drugs, bitch."? I'mma gonna steal that because it's golden! Hugs to you and hoping it's a simple fix.
Toggle Commented Jan 4, 2012 on On the calendar at Barnmaven
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What a beautiful friendship and beautiful post. I followed my friend Elizabeth over here, to read your tribute post to her (equally lovely, by the way) and found this, too. We are of a very similar age (I'm a year older) and I was delighted to discover that so many of the touchstones of your childhood are the same as mine - I found myself nodding "yes, yes, yes," to Upstairs, Downstairs and Tim Curry. I too became a parent late in life - twin boys at 42, so there is so much i can relate to here. So glad to have found you! (Thanks, Elizabeth)
You keep talking until you're ready for the silence. I'll keep listening. To your words and your quiet. Big hugs, my friend. Big cyber-hugs to you today.
Toggle Commented Dec 22, 2011 on I keep talking at Barnmaven
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Oh, Mary I am so, so sorry. My heart is aching for you. That's just so hard. My husband lost a brother suddenly, the year before I met him, so my kids (and I) never knew their Uncle Ethan (whom yes, my son is named for). It's been 14 years and yet my husband misses him every day. Big hugs to you from here. Wish I could be there with you to deliver them in person.
Toggle Commented Dec 10, 2011 on Doing the unthinkable at Barnmaven
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A warm wife is a sexy wife! Silly first husband. Wonderful new one. Enjoy!
Toggle Commented Dec 4, 2011 on Warmth at Barnmaven
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