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William Hoffacker
NY, PA, OH, and/or AZ
Graduated from Susquehanna University with a B.A. in creative writing, and from Ohio University with an M.A. in English. Interested in editing and teaching.
Interests: literature, education, memoir, creative nonfiction, personal essay, writing, broadcasting.
Recent Activity
Dear Zak, Aaron, and Nick (a.k.a. the GAC [Ghost Adventures Crew]), My name is Will and your show is very important to me. I never believed in ghosts. I still don't. That's not the point. The point is your show used to be stream-able on Netflix, and some close friends discovered that back when we lived together at this cool place called the Writers House. You might remember the phrase "writershouse" from a hashtag that we used as we incessantly tweeted at you, Zak, trying to get a reply or a retweet. It was a real letdown that you never made that dream come true for any of us. The closest any of us came to that kind of correspondence is when I did an awesome piece of fan art depicting Aaron (picture not found), and when I sent it to him he sent me a DM that said, "Looks... Continue reading
Posted Aug 9, 2013 at William Hoffacker
[Preface: What you see below, in non-boldface type was written way back in early September 2012. I never posted it because it remained unfinished. I'm expanding on it and posting this now partially because summertime is most conducive to blogging. Also, I've become an avid reader of David Foster Wallace, which is to say I am now a man obsessed with footnotes and addenda. Please enjoy a continuation of my nostalgia-driven Writers-House-examining memoir project, wherein I will insert disclaimers and additional information when necessary.] I was never supposed to live in the Writers House. In freshman year I lived in a regular dorm like everyone else. My roommate dropped out after the fall semester, so I had the tiny room with its bunk beds all to myself in the spring. As that year neared its end and everyone was discussing housing, I knew only one man whom I really wanted... Continue reading
Posted Aug 1, 2013 at William Hoffacker
I can't talk about the living room without first mentioning the Taylor Lautner poster. This wonderful decorative element was introduced at the beginning of my senior year. Before that, we residents of the Writers House had done relatively little to decorate the living room. To start to give you a picture of the space, it's a carpeted room with more furniture than people who live in the house, with its two wooden tables, three wooden chairs, blue couch with room for three sitters, two large matching blue armchairs, and in the winter a porch swing (also seating three) that would normally belong on the front porch. The living room has long had a few decorations. There are some framed images of old literary magazine covers produced at the university. There is a weird metal panel (I don't know what else to call it) with a deer on it covering what... Continue reading
Posted Aug 12, 2012 at William Hoffacker
Focus. I'm only going to tell you about the place I lived for the bulk of the past three years. No, I need a narrower scope. Today I'm just going to write about the kitchen in the place where I lived for the bulk of the past three years. That place is the Writers House, just off campus, where I lived with seven others at a time. Look at that name: Writers House. Study it. What do you notice about it? The first thing I observe is that this place shares my initials, WH. I refuse to take this as coincidence, which explains why I also feel a deep connection to Whitney Houston and the White House. Regardless of my name, what else to you see in the words Writers House, or not see? Correct, there is no punctuation mark, and one might expect an apostrophe. The Writer's House. Or,... Continue reading
Posted Jul 19, 2012 at William Hoffacker
For a few weeks there I wasn't blogging because I had nothing to say, but for more than a few days now I've really wanted to write this down. I just haven't had the time, or when i did I wanted to use it for other things. Normally I have some free time at work I could use to write this, but this week I'm subbing for a full-time guy on vacation, so my workload has skyrocketed. And when I get home in the evenings, I just want to play Call of Duty on X-Box Live with my cousin, then watch Glee while I chat with my girlfriend online. Add to that an extracurricular copyediting job that I've been doing for a national undergraduate literary magazine run at my school's campus, and I've been either too busy to too drained to write my thoughts down even when I wanted to.... Continue reading
Posted Jul 23, 2011 at William Hoffacker
In my view, he's making the whole human race look bad, but especially young people. If you haven't been following sports news, which I never ever do but this story was impossible to get away from over the weekend, Rory McIlroy just won his first major tournament, the U.S. Open (see: golf). He is twenty-two years old. Not only did he win this infamous championship, he set a bunch of records doing it, as he probably had the greatest round of golf in recorded history. I didn't pay attention to the game on Sunday very closely, but I'm pretty sure he finished the day with a bajillion under par. Yes, I believe I heard that on ESPN. This soon-to-be-a-great-Trivial-Pursuit-question event came up in a brief elevator conversation the other day with my boss's boss, who it turns out by coincidence used to work at the same company as my dad... Continue reading
Posted Jun 22, 2011 at William Hoffacker
It dawned on me earlier today just how eclectic and malleable my life is, even more so than the average life, I would think. Take one month ago, for instance. Last month I was still living in a flat in Glasgow, Scotland and touring around European cities whenever I pleased. Right now, I'm living at home with my parents in Queens, New York, and my day-to-day life consists of a full-time paid internship for a big company in or around Wall Street (I wish I could be more specific, maybe someday). And to top it all off, in only about two and a half months, I'll make a long-awaited, triumphant return to a teeny tiny town in Pennsylvania where I'll be taking an introductory level poetry course, a screenwriting workshop, and an independent study on creative nonfiction with a widely respected professor who has published many books and whose son... Continue reading
Posted Jun 13, 2011 at William Hoffacker
Last week I saw something in Manhattan that I've never seen before. That's a statement that could be made any day out of my summer and some years of my life, I suppose, because every time you step into Manhattan you see something you've never seen before. But most of the bizarre is all so unremarkable. The extraordinary becomes the ordinary, such that I'm not going to write a blog entry about the guy in the big rubber chicken suit on the street corner near my work. If I lived in, say, Topeka and saw that, then sure, I might write you a few paragraphs on how strange it was. But when I tell you I saw a giant chicken in Manhattan, of course you should shrug it off or at least ask what happened next (e.g., did the chicken try to sell me drugs or offer me an expired... Continue reading
Posted Jun 12, 2011 at William Hoffacker
Efficiency. Synergy. Enplanement. These are all words that are in my vocabulary now that I'm working a nine to five office job. (Don't ask about that last word; no, I don't work for an airline.) Well, not exactly nine to five, that's just an expression. I've adjusted my schedule to 8:30 - 4:30 instead because it fits my commute better. Still, you get the idea, it's a full time job, five days a week, too. I wish I could tell you loads about my summer internship, but it would be unwise and unprofessional of me to talk about the company I work for, because then someone with authority will see it and fire me. Which is not to say that I don't like the job. So far, in the middle of my second week, I like it fine. But security is tight at the building and they obviously don't want... Continue reading
Posted Jun 7, 2011 at William Hoffacker
I'm sitting in a hotel room in Edinburgh where I never intended to be until yesterday. No lie, I booked this room by using a web site called "last minute [dot] com." It figures that the day of my return trip to the states would have to be a Sunday. On Sundays, trains just don't run as often as they do on all the other days of the week, I've found. I have a flight leaving Edinburgh at about 11 AM tomorrow morning, and with all the stuff that can go wrong or slow you down in an airport you're supposed to get there two or three hours early. So my plan was to catch a train from Glasgow to Edinburgh by 7 AM tomorrow morning. But tomorrow is a Sunday, so I wasn't too surprised, despite my disappointment, when I went online two days ago and checked the train... Continue reading
Posted May 28, 2011 at William Hoffacker
Above is a travel video (or vlog, if you prefer) which lasts not much longer than about five minutes, and despite that it took me many hours of the day to create it. When I finally managed to upload it to YouTube, it was about two A.M. here, and the feeling is bittersweet. I should feel a sense of accomplishment because now I have something to show for all that hard work, instead of nothing which I thought I'd have because for a while there Windows Movie Maker was failing me so horribly. Making this video was such a constant rollercoaster, propelling me between the highs of "Hey, I might actually be making something funny and enjoyable" and "I feel so stupid filming myself talking, how do people like Alex and Charlie do this all the time?" or "Am I ever going to get this horrible program to work?" At... Continue reading
Posted May 17, 2011 at William Hoffacker
This is good. I've been hearing some kind words about my recent bloggy efforts, and it's nice to know that some people are reading. I would have written more in the past week, but I went from being busy taking my final exams to immediately doing more traveling. On Thursday my girlfriend, a mutual friend, and I went down to Wales, mostly for the sake of adding another name to the list of countries I've been to (currently an even ten, though it will reach thirteen by the end of the month). We traveled by train from Glasgow to a city in Wales called Llandudno, which I'm still not entirely sure how to pronouce. I'm sorry if this may come across as culturally insensitive, but Welsh is a funny language. To the best of my limited knowledge, I think that their alphabet is missing a few of the letters that... Continue reading
Posted May 16, 2011 at William Hoffacker
Thanks, Lauren. I'm glad to hear that about my prose. Maybe I should write every blog entry when I'm as exhausted as I was last night.
Toggle Commented May 10, 2011 on Examining My First Exam at William Hoffacker
1 reply
Now that I've had the first of my two exams, I guess I should follow up on the concerns I raised in my last blog entry. When I turned off the light and put my head to the pillow last night, I was more worried about the horrifying possibility of sleeping in and missing the exam than I was about actually taking it. I don't have an actual alarm clock. It's the same as how no one in my generation wears a wristwatch. I have the time on my cell phone (or "cellular telephone" for Arrested Development fans), and I also depend on it for my alarms in the morning. Unfortunately, it has proven on a couple of occasions that it's not entirely reliable, and I've proven time and time again that I really prefer to sleep in late. I had to set a back-up alarm on my iPod Touch... Continue reading
Posted May 9, 2011 at William Hoffacker
I'm going to see how much of a blog post I can create in less than an hour, because let me tell you: the way I write these things, it generally takes longer than that. But it's already very late, and I have old episodes of Community that I like to watch before I go to bed. My sleeping (and waking) habits haven't exactly been healthy since my classes ending in late March (I still get a kick out of saying that). Either I'm traveling around Europe, getting up at absurb hours and running on fumes in order to catch a bus to take a plane et cetera ad nauseum, or I'm staying here in my flat, and behaving much the same way that I would at home on a break from school, staying up so late it's early and sleeping in past noon. Sometimes it's a habit that suits... Continue reading
Posted May 6, 2011 at William Hoffacker
I really should've blogged yesterday, or written anything for that matter. I spent so much time bored and sitting at my computer, doing next to nothing. That's not completely fair. There was a point in the afternoon when I got it into my head to do something productive: updating an Excel spreadsheet which I haven't opened in months. You hear Microsoft Excel and you might think I was doing work with numbers or some other such thing that I never, ever do. My "submission spreadsheet" is just a handy tool that I use to keep track of what writing pieces I've sent out, where I've submitted them, and the status of those submissions, etc. It's a really helpful document as long as I actually keep it up to date, but due to some neglect I had to do some retconning to it yesterday. Understand what that means: that for a... Continue reading
Posted May 4, 2011 at William Hoffacker
I've just got to blog about something besides blogging. That's what this blog needs, something far less meta. (I just typed "meat" instead of "meta." Those are two words that shouldn't be so similar.) You know, after all these years, I still think the word "blog" is stupid. I much prefer "weblog." That word is short enough. Why did you have to go and abbreviate it into a monosyllabic turd-word that sounds like an onomatopoeia for the sounds emanating from a gross, overcrowded barn? That's a tangent and I could delete it, but I'm not here to practice editing. I'm here to write what feels right, and today that means giving you some insight into my time abroad. I've been living and studying in Glasgow, Scotland for about four months now, and there's many different ways I could approach the daunting task of beginning to tell you about my experience.... Continue reading
Posted May 2, 2011 at William Hoffacker
What year is it? Where do I begin? No, not at the beginning. Linear storytelling won't do. I have an idea. Jump to some time last fall as I'm preparing to spend next semester abroad in Glasgow, when I receive an email about the most exciting job opportunity I've ever encountered. My home university is looking for a couple of students to write blogs during their time abroad, for which they would receive a small salary through the school. I want this job immediately. I couldn't be more qualified. Years of blogging (admittedly not recently) under my belt, and I'm a creative writing major. I apply for the job, and so does my girlfriend, Dana. We're comfortable with the fact that we're obviously competing for the position, especially because we'll both be studying in Scotland, she at Stirling and I at Glasgow (could that possibly be grammatically correct?), and no... Continue reading
Posted May 1, 2011 at William Hoffacker
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