Oh, and the construction page for the home site is a hoot. Yes, that hooting noise you hear: that's me.

Jeezly bees, Wil. What's more surprising than you being surprised by the feelings of exile and return is my surprise at being surprised by my feelings about your feelings of exile and return. I remember, quite distinctly, the night in the rural theater when I watched, as a 14-year old (going on 15) kid with nostalgia what I thought was a recreation of my summer from two years earlier. The only radio station that came in where I lived was an AM oldies station, so the soundtrack of Stand by Me was my everyday, contemporary soundtrack. The vast majority of my comics were from the early sixties. My dad drove a rusted out '59 Chevrolet. That movie (and the novella) hits me at about 40 different levels, en route to 42 as I get older. I plugged into your blog around SpongeBob Vega$, I think - followed you into exile after the humorous(to me)/tragic(to you) implosion of the loose record of your seemingly temporary thoughts. I had no clue how nostalgic exile would make me for the old blog, and not because of interface or anything like that. Its remarkable how durable your posts are, and I've gone diving for the ancient ones more often than I care to admit. Exile for the host, of course, is alien and a little amputated, like you aren't working with all the background notes. But for the reader, I wouldn't have thought that I would have felt the move or look to the move back like it was a long-expected party. But I do. Thanks for asking me and the rest of the gang to climb up Solsbury Hill with you, because there's no denying I'm moved, too. In some odd little miraculous way, I can feel my heart going boom boom boom.

Your moustache ranking is highly controversial. The New York Times Review of Moustache's weekly rankings currently stand at: The Elliot The Brimley The Sutherland D. Classic The Bronson The Dali The Fingers The Selleck The Shalit The Yosemite The Marx G. The Marx K. The Hitler

So glad you are such a thoughtless jerk, because it made for a super drawring! It wouldn't have happened if you weren't always inviting people to do fun things at the wrong spot in the space-time continuum. Way to make even failure awesome!

Dude, stop hectoring him about politics. I get it, you don't like them, but last time I checked with a permission slip from the Dept. of Homeland Security, this was a free country. Wil's got a nice beefy platform (which he built wif his own hands), a point-of-view (which he built wif his own hands) and is obviously producing enough attractive content to attract ne'erdowells like you and me. So yeah, he's free to opine and you are free to whine about it, but don't you realize how much easier it is to ignore politics you don't care about instead of getting all schoolmarm on the opinions of others? After all, nobody in the world is as smart as me or as correct on politics as I am. If I spent all my time correcting every political persuasion I thought was wrong [except the Free Taco Tuesday Party - those anarchists can die in a fire], I'd have no time left for doing the funner, fiddlier things in life. Just let it go. After all, it is more than possible that when you have to explain to someone that they misunderstand you when they thought you were being a dick may be because you really are a dick, but that doesn't have to be true for others. Sometimes people do misunderstand. This is a case: the exact words he used were "gross political ads." The misunderstanding was obvious "gross people" was never the intent, overt or covert. End the game of spot the dick. Mmmm. Spotted dick.

Yes. Name that Smell.

Well, I'm gross and I don't agree with your politics, so maybe you should change your tune. I, for one, believe it is everyone's God-given right to prefer beige shelf-liners to those pale blue ones. As far as TT goes, I don't think you allow enough illegal moves: the most dramatic play I've ever seen on the show was when Anne went all explody on the trainset. I think some of the critics might have lost sight of the fact that TT is entertainment to introduce new games to new players. Who cares? I played Robo Rally about 3 times before any of us even remembered that our bots were armed and we had plenty of fun before that. The rules matter, they just don't matter so much when learning/teaching. If you like the game well enough to play it repeatedly, you'll figure out the rules.

Huh. I missed that. I yield the field of battle to you in shame. I don't even know why I questioned the legitimacy in the first place. And I didn't solve the Bloodhound Gang mystery either. Apparently, Klaus Nomi and a time machine had nothing to do with the dead man's pigeon. I've got to find another line of work.

Wil, you are usually pretty good at spotting scams for people, but I really think you should take a second look. First of all, the cab is a model with bolted fenders, and the California Board of Taxicab Commissioners is very clear in its restriction of taxi cabs to vehicles with welded fenders. The second indicator of trouble is that the vehicle has no toplight, a violation of the Board's resolution 403. Third, because the vehicle is neither a Ford Crown Victoria or Mercury Grand Marquis, it violates resolution 401(b) insofar as it has not acquired CARB's ULEV rating. Fourth, rule 409 demands exterior signage for the cab clearly indicating that the driver only carries five dollars in change on his person. This cab is in violation. Fifth, the duct tape is not of uniform color. This violates good taste. Finally, although it is difficult to tell from this photo alone, it is safe to assume that the driver violates the taxi cab driver standards of dress requiring that he wear black dress pants, insofar as he is unlikely to be wearing pants of any sort. I hope that this clears up your misunderstanding. Obviously, it is a very clever ruse, and the common citizen can't be expected to catch all of those little details. Now if you'll excuse me, I've got some reruns of The Bloodhound Gang to go solve.

Mark, he couldn't go, but it would have been pretty funny if everyone mailed him one instead. In heavily wrapped, teeny tiny packages. I do wonder something else about the bucket o' dice, though. Has anyone given up a coveted d7 or d14? Those Zocchi dice are the coolest. I vote Dungeon Crawl Classics for a future TableTop, for the dice chain alone!

No, no! You are getting it wrong! Always feed the trolls, because it is fun to watch them get stuffed and then explode. Oh wait, no. I'm thinking gremlins. That's right. Always feed gremlins. After midnight. Trust me: I never screw up advice. In fact, I might have been the one who advised Lilith to express her fantasies on random websites as part of her 97-step process of reintegrating into society after her abduction by Antarctic waterfowl. It seems to be going quite well, don't you agree? PS - If you are in need of surrealist therapy, I only charge six melted clocks and one apple cow per session. My office is the one next to that surly kid's lemonade stand.

I'm picturing a bright orange box with hoverwil on the front. Wheatons: The Breakfast of Long-suffering Champions. That's got to feel great. Make sure you tweet what you do with the cup when you get your hands on it.

That doll looks just like Star Wars' Will Wheatin, and I'm glad to see that Phil Hughes has gotten some modeling work, even if he had to grow a beard. I was worried about his ability to make a living.

Or the TARDIS. He'd be an awesome TARDIS. Nice and sarcastic.

Shoot! That wasn't supposed to happen until I photoshopped Klaus onto a movie poster wearing a clown sweater. "He came from outer space... To save the human race. Wil Wheaton IS Klaus Nomi. SUMMER 2014" The thing has blockbuster written all over it. Well, except the "block" and "-er" parts. We'll fill in those bits later - maybe cameos by Ernest Borgnine and Mickey Rooney. I've got to work on my pitch...I'm thinking this might be a Sony Pictures gig. Either that or RKO.

It's too bad you have to cancel, but I CAN'T BELIEVE you finally got the Lugosi role in the long-delayed Dr. Acula reboot! No? Hm. My Guesser has been acting funny lately. I need to take it into the shop. In all honesty, here are the places my brain went for this big time role: The Beyonder for a six-movie Avengers II suite. A young Gary Gygax as a secret paranormal investigator in Trey Parker's The Gygax Diaries A serial killer of serial killer serial killers in Dexter: The Musical Abraham Lincoln in Abraham Lincoln's Night of the Lepus Title role of The Klaus Nomi Story The Travis Bickle role in Santa Clause 4: The Quickening The Bruce Lee role in My Dinner with Andre 2: Ballistic [tagline: This time, it's interpersonal!] Star Trek: Crusher's Revenge

You are super lucky that the kitchen is in your house, because it would be very inefficient to have to go out to someone else's kitchen to celebrate hockey victories. On the other hand, it looks like your victory gesture involves a supernatural act of self-teleportation, so maybe you could just BAMF over to any place in the world that this kitchen might be. Still - probably best that you can just go walk there.

That HAD to be scripted! Please tell me that was scripted! Between that and the precognitive scuba accident during Get Bit, I'm either going to have to believe that your set is a surly and frustrated comedian or that you've got a grip that needs a stern talking to!

I would buy (not kidding a bit) a transcript of a Diablo chat between you and Ryan. That either makes you two awesome or me tragic. I'll hedge my bets and say "both," then apply my winnings toward the gold-bound, limited 1st edition of "Wil and Ryan Play Diablo: Chat Ensues."

Absolutely second this one, esp. since it is about play and also has the very nifty Stand By Me ref. Also, Wil: have you ever tried to pull off one of your illness/medicine-induced rants? On the screen, they are completely surreal and laugh-out loud gems. The really old one where you call the Orange County Angels by their real names and then pine for a monorail is a very funny example. Or maybe I'm just really weird. I just don't know if it would work as well in performance or not, but I'd love to see you risk it. The one I'm thinking of is Dropped to the Sun Alone, but there are others: http://www.wilwheaton.net/2006/05/dropped_to_the_sun_alone.php

You asked for links. Here is a selection from my personal reserve at the All-Time Wil Wheaton Hall of Fame: I've always loved the Universal Studios recollection (By Your Command): http://www.wilwheaton.net/2002/02/ The completely dorky movie math problem that you and Ryan share: http://wilwheaton.typepad.com/wwdnbackup/2007/02/you_can_count_o.html Embracing/Exploiting Geek (or...I Cast Magic Missle): http://wilwheaton.typepad.com/wwdnbackup/2009/05/regarding-the-difference-between-embracing-and-exploiting-geek-culture.html Bioshock 2 Elbow: http://wilwheaton.typepad.com/wwdnbackup/2010/02/in-which-wil-discovers-that-he-has-bioshock-2-elbow.html Wil buys a new game. It's super effective! always cracks me up: http://wilwheaton.typepad.com/wwdnbackup/2011/04/wil-buys-a-new-game-its-super-effective.html The very recursive updated non-updated version of Still cool: http://wilwheaton.typepad.com/wwdnbackup/2010/01/from-the-vault-still-cool.html Also, I can't remember if you blogged about it or talked about it in an interview or what, but I thought Andy Warhol's mention of you in his diaries is so cool: something about Warhol really liking your character and then being annoyed that you turned into Richard Dreyfus instead of Richard Gere. One isn't funny at all, but honestly, I'd love to hear you read it with or without something getting in your eyes. It absolutely, unexpectedly broke me when I read it more than a decade ago, during some very hard family stuff. It changed me and it has followed me ever since. "I Just Got Back From the Hospital" http://www.wilwheaton.net/2001/07/

There are three modern (currently unwritten) memoirs I would give my eyeteeth for: Gary Gygax and Dave Arneson: Shared Memories (Different Views) Everything Unknown Is Taken for Magnificent: Infocom and the Lurking Horror of MIT, by Dave Lebling and Whatever the heck you would call your complete Stand By Me memoir.

Wait one minute, there, buster. I'm pretty sure that pornographic material would, at a certain point, be in violation of the holodeck's safety protocols. So...technically, that old t-shirt is wrong. I'm going to make a t-shirt that says "This t-shirt is less deceptive than Mrs. Wheaton's husband's t-shirt from two years ago." And then I'm starting my own t-shirt slogan business.

So, when you looked in this mirror, ten years later, did you see a Japanese man staring back at you? Because that would have been awesome.

In the second pic, you look like you just sat on Jiminy Cricket. On purpose. Evil indeed.