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Laura

Oregon

Figuring out the retirement balance of fewer demands and the need to feel needed. Striving for a light touch on heavy issues.

Recent Activity

Watching Fiddler on the Roof with Antisemitism on My Mind

Fiddler on the Roof on Christmas Day. Great idea. Connecting to my traditions on a day when everything closes for other people’s traditions. I bought tickets as soon as possible. When I taught Hebrew school, I showed the movie to... Continue reading

Posted Jan 1, 2025 at Rebellious Thoughts of a Woman

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From Being Defensive to Creating Community

A defensive person creates community by changing. That’s the facile answer, though one with lots of truth. Both the change and the community may take time to develop, and the shape they take is influenced by the other, but time... Continue reading

Posted Dec 23, 2024 at Rebellious Thoughts of a Woman

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Caregiving and Maintaining Inner Peace

The other night, in preparation for my study session with my Mussar partner, I read about the soul trait of zerizut (zeal, enthusiasm, promptness, engagement), which is “our capacity to bring our choices into action.” Before I could think about... Continue reading

Posted Dec 4, 2024 at Rebellious Thoughts of a Woman

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A Caregiver’s Search for a Caregiver

Thursday, Nov 14 1:47 PM: “Hi, I was wondering if a caregiver will be coming to stay with my mother tomorrow from 10-2, as I talked about with the in-take nurse on Monday.” “Let me check with our scheduler and... Continue reading

Posted Nov 30, 2024 at Rebellious Thoughts of a Woman

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They All Want to Kill Us: We Will Not Comply

Stairway in Vizcaya Museum “They all want to kill us.” They: The most obvious of them are in marauding mobs of violent young men and the pundits, academics, leaders—people—whose mouths and pens expel contorted words, encased in hate, racism, and... Continue reading

Posted Nov 19, 2024 at Rebellious Thoughts of a Woman

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Shuffling Off to Assisted Living: My Mother’s New Home, Temporarily

We're each slugging along at our own pace. Once the decision was made, the rush was on to find an assisted living community for my mother. The plan was for her to live there until she was strong enough (or... Continue reading

Posted Oct 23, 2024 at Rebellious Thoughts of a Woman

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My Mother Can’t Live Alone Anymore: A Tough Realization

In a recent conversation with my 90-year-old mother, she said, “Someone asked me what’s my last name and I couldn’t remember.” “Did you eventually remember?” I asked, stunned. “Yes,” she said, before moving onto telling me what she had for... Continue reading

Posted Oct 18, 2024 at Rebellious Thoughts of a Woman

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The Jewish Holidays and October 7th

October 7th and its aftermath have become a new part of Jewish identity. This event seems to be within the canon of the stories of our honey-and-horseradish history. Will it join the “They tried to kill us, we survived, let’s... Continue reading

Posted Oct 15, 2024 at Rebellious Thoughts of a Woman

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Relentless, Resilient, Resolute: I Am a Jew. Hineni, Here I Am

An Israeli town: people want to live peaceful lives. It is relentless. It is not new. It is always shameful. Century after century, there are those who want to kill Jews. Too many succeed. That is not a reason to... Continue reading

Posted Sep 27, 2024 at Rebellious Thoughts of a Woman

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More Grieving: Six Israeli Hostages Murdered

These are the six murdered Israelis. Another morning of waking up to news of murdered Israelis. This time, six of the hostages held by h-m-s, who were recently executed, were found by the IDF in a tunnel in Gaza. These... Continue reading

Posted Sep 1, 2024 at Rebellious Thoughts of a Woman

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On Extraordinary Ordinariness: Finding Inspiration in Connections

Since moving to Oregon, I’ve come to realize that I’m not as special as I used to think I am. I’ve met so many people here who have lived lives that require the telling of stories to explain who and... Continue reading

Posted Jul 9, 2024 at Rebellious Thoughts of a Woman

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Prayer or Talking to and through My Heart

Rabbi Zev Wolf, the Hasidic master of Zhitomir (where my maternal grandmother is from), taught: Do not think that the words of prayer as you say them go up to God. It is not the words themselves that ascend; it... Continue reading

Posted Jul 1, 2024 at Rebellious Thoughts of a Woman

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Sharing Insights: On Praying and Studying

“What is the difference between prayer and study?” asked the late Rabbi Lord Jonathan Sacks, explaining the order of a Jewish prayer service and the importance of studying Torah and Jewish texts. “In prayer, we speak to God; while in... Continue reading

Posted Jun 27, 2024 at Rebellious Thoughts of a Woman

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Sharing Insights: Unnoticed Miracles

The Miracle of a Forest Light bulbs do pop in our heads. I know because it happened to me yesterday in the middle of a Zoom breakout room. We were sent there to talk about whether we trust in God,... Continue reading

Posted Jun 21, 2024 at Rebellious Thoughts of a Woman

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Kindness Is Foundational and Revelatory: Let Kindness Flutter

Walking along towering trees Today is Day 241 that the Israeli hostages are in captivity. Bring them home now! It’s nice to be nice. It might not seem to be a powerful message, but it’s one worth taking to heart—and... Continue reading

Posted Jun 4, 2024 at Rebellious Thoughts of a Woman

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Learning and Living Jewish Wisdom: Moving forward on My Life Journey

Discovering paths near my new home in Oregon Today is Day 236 that the Israeli hostages are in captivity. Bring them home! Life is beautiful, banal, and cruel. We have all experienced moments of each since they broadly cover the... Continue reading

Posted May 30, 2024 at Rebellious Thoughts of a Woman

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PRIDE, GRATITUDE, & LOVE Vanquishing ignorance, hate, & turmoil

I will miss the sights at the Wakodahatchee Wetlands Today Is Day 212: Free the Hostages I was supposed to fly to Israel on Saturday night, April 13. As I finished packing my bags, I heard that large gatherings were... Continue reading

Posted May 5, 2024 at Rebellious Thoughts of a Woman

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Gaining Perspective in Uncertainty

Not a pity party On my recent birthday, a friend asked what plans I had. I told her, breakfast at my favorite café (Aioli), lunch with my mother at a restaurant on the ocean (Latitudes), ending with a private pity... Continue reading

Posted Apr 8, 2024 at Rebellious Thoughts of a Woman

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On Being the Archetypal Other

When people forget our shared humanity—and Israel becomes a pariah state and Jews are pariahed; and blood libels are once again all the rage; and when binary thinking condemns conversations and peaceful conduct—to whom do we turn for strength? To... Continue reading

Posted Mar 29, 2024 at Rebellious Thoughts of a Woman

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A New Life Balance: Being Jewish after October 7th

Since October 7th, my heart and mind changed. Technically, my life hasn’t changed, but that just goes to show that life is not determined only by the actions one takes in a day. How can it not have changed when... Continue reading

Posted Mar 13, 2024 at Rebellious Thoughts of a Woman

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Contemplating Purpose and the Man-in-the-Sky

The interconnectedness of life in an Oregon forest Before writing silently for 60 minutes, the participants in my Shut Up and Write! group talk about what they’re planning to write. This week, I explained that as my part in pushing... Continue reading

Posted Feb 25, 2024 at Rebellious Thoughts of a Woman

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"The Future Is Feminine": Insights from a Lecture

Recently, I attended an online lecture by a Chassidic rabbi titled, “The Future Is Feminine.” I’m not sure what I expected, but nowadays I want to hear thoughts that haven’t been floating around in my mind for years. I’m also... Continue reading

Posted Feb 13, 2024 at Rebellious Thoughts of a Woman

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Four Stages of Retirement

Seeing far and fog on a walk in the woods I’m slipping into my next, the fourth, retirement stage or mindset. I call it Detachment. First, there was the astonishment that I don’t have to be at a specific place,... Continue reading

Posted Jan 29, 2024 at Rebellious Thoughts of a Woman

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Daughtering My Mother

A walk in Oregon My 90-year-old mother is clearly a child of the Great Depression: she saves and reuses everything, and not out of concern for the environment. There are cottage cheese containers holding dried apricots, supermarket bags as garbage... Continue reading

Posted Jan 24, 2024 at Rebellious Thoughts of a Woman

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Traveler’s Prayer: Looking for Comfort along the Way

Before going to the airport to fly from Southern Florida to Oregon, I removed my car fob from my key chain. I wanted to keep with me the key chain with the hamsa (a symbol thought to thwart the Evil... Continue reading

Posted Jan 21, 2024 at Rebellious Thoughts of a Woman

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