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Patrick McKinnion
Pacific Northwest
IT professional and father. Bad Movie fan and Birther Debunker
Recent Activity
Considering some of the political sewers I've waded though, it's amazing that reviewing this special sends a special chill down my spine. But I've put off this task for years now. Time to bite the thermal detonator and person up. On 17 November 1978, CBS aired a two hour show.... Continue reading
Posted Nov 17, 2017 at Garbage Cinema
So, how long before the Burning Legion runs out of the really GOOD names for their installations, and we end up with "Forge Camp: Grumpy", "Forge Camp: Irritation", "Forge Camp: Annoyance", "Forge Camp: Hangnail", or "Forge Camp: Telemarketer" ??? Maybe it's just me, but everytime I hear the death knights... Continue reading
Posted Apr 10, 2017 at Garbage Cinema
Techon looked at the sky though the dome. The huge red sun just setting over the desolate desert around the domes looked larger than the day before… “Just my imagination” she thought. For a moment, she thought of how the outside would have looked millions of cycles ago. A blue... Continue reading
Posted Apr 9, 2017 at Garbage Cinema
For a while I've shied away from reviewing movies that were on Mystery Science Theatre 3000, because that's quite frankly like shooting puppies in a barrel. At least tip the barrel over and give the puppies a running start. When the movie in question is written by Ed Wood, Jr.... Continue reading
Posted Apr 7, 2017 at Garbage Cinema
"Thank you for scrying Azeroth Quest Support. In order to ensure quality customer service, your scry may be monitored or recorded." "In order to better assist us, please slay five crystal basilisks and have your map co-ordinates ready." "For Alliance, press one. For Horde, press two. For all others, please... Continue reading
Posted Apr 3, 2017 at Garbage Cinema
This movie feels like if the Hallmark Channel did a horror movie. Mystery Science Theatre 3000 riffed this movie, and with good reason. It’s early 70’s and while I could say it didn’t age well, I suspect it started out badly back then. The movie opens with crickets, much like... Continue reading
Posted Mar 31, 2017 at Garbage Cinema
There's a few movies in my Bad Movie collection that have been waiting, like spores of anthrax, waiting to inflict themselves on my memories. When the movie is based on a book I've read, it makes the experience even more questionable. When the movie is based on a book with... Continue reading
Posted Mar 27, 2017 at Garbage Cinema
Back when I originally reviewed "Barn of the Blood Llama", a friend of mine said "there IS a worse movie than "A Polish Vampire in Burbank". Welll, I'm here today to say that while "BotBL" still holds the bad movie title, "A Polish Vampire in Burbank" ranks right down there... Continue reading
Posted Mar 24, 2017 at Garbage Cinema
Night of the Lepus is a classic in the genre of really bad movies. Made in 1972, this cult classic has a strong cast of "B" actors, good special effects, good acting, and it's obvious that MGM really sunk some money into it. It's reputation is such it footage even... Continue reading
Posted Mar 20, 2017 at Garbage Cinema
I started to watch Wizards of the Demon Sword, and couldn't get much past "wow, this movie sucks". So, rather than watch it alone, I brought in the help of two experienced bad movie watchers, Julieann and Ismarc. Who may forgive me someday. Wizards of the Demon Sword opens with... Continue reading
Posted Mar 17, 2017 at Garbage Cinema
I had heard of this bit of film while I was in Doha, so of course had to order it. Until now, the DVD has been sitting in my collection, wrapped, waiting, like a glittery cyst waiting to burst over our senses in sequined slime. Last night, it burst badly.... Continue reading
Posted Mar 13, 2017 at Garbage Cinema
Ah, illness. When fevers, joint aches, and undue amounts of cough syrup allow one to catch up with their video collection. At times, this can be enjoyable. At other times, the sheer "WTF moments" make one's movie seem a figment of the medicine. Surely the human mind didn't actually FILM... Continue reading
Posted Mar 10, 2017 at Garbage Cinema
Sometimes one keeps putting off and putting off a movie review. In the case of things like "Barn of the Blood Llama", it's because the brain's self-preservation instincts are trying in vain to block out all memories of the movie. And in some cases, it's because you just don't know... Continue reading
Posted Mar 6, 2017 at Garbage Cinema
Mind you, for the most part I liked a lot of Episode III. That's not stopping the snarkage though..... Yes, we've established that Anakin is a hotshot pilot. But we're expected to believe he's good enough to take *half* of a broken battleship-sized craft though atmosphere, though reentry, (with hot... Continue reading
Posted Mar 3, 2017 at Garbage Cinema
Note: While the movie isn't negative about religion, it may offend some people. A sense of humour is really required for it. Wow. Okay, it's not *quite* "Barn of the Blood Llama" bad, but it's up there. But bad in an amusing way. An interesting use of C$40,000. (This movie... Continue reading
Posted Feb 27, 2017 at Garbage Cinema
Saw "The Devil's Rain" For years I've heard of this example of cinema sleezeloaf, and I have to say, it was every bit as bad as expected. Not as bad as "Barn of the Blood Llama" - it takes a lot to get that bad. However, any movie that stars... Continue reading
Posted Feb 24, 2017 at Garbage Cinema
I got a chance to watch "Dagon", which is somewhat losely based on H.P. Lovecraft's "The Horror of Insmouth" The movie starts with the main character, Paul Marsh, swiming up to this giant eye-shaped hole in the ocean floor. While examining the structure, he comes across a raven-haired, rather cute... Continue reading
Posted Feb 20, 2017 at Garbage Cinema
First off, the DVD quality was good, and Redemption Films is getting a good rep at quality releases of really sleazy B movies. "The Sinful Nuns of St. Valentine" is a prime example of their fare. And the redemption flms short at the front may have been better than the... Continue reading
Posted Feb 17, 2017 at Garbage Cinema
Where to begin........... Considered to be the best movie to ever come out of Dripping Springs, Texas, "Barn" starts with a short by Clive Barker, describing the dreaded "Male Berserk Syndrome". Actually, it sounds more like he took a few hits off of what the writer was smoking when he... Continue reading
Posted Feb 13, 2017 at Garbage Cinema
If one is a purist of the original series, they're more than likely going to hate this. No ifs, ands or buts. However, there's a fairly decent change regular fans may find it decent. I like the way they "tipped the hat" at the original series without being a slavish... Continue reading
Posted Feb 10, 2017 at Garbage Cinema
The script really came across as a weird mix of Star Trek II and Star Trek IV. Didn't quite work. Admiral Janeway?? Gak. Picard saves the Federation how many times and is still a captain, while Janeway manages to pilot a lost ship back after 5 years and gets promoted... Continue reading
Posted Feb 7, 2017 at Garbage Cinema
Some random notes on Episode II: Didn't suck nearly as badly as Episode I did. ("Senator" Jar-Jar aside....) However, whoever wrote the romance scenes should have been shot, drowned, hung, drawn & quartered, and fed to particularly ill vultures. Blegh. And the actor playing Anakin wouldn't have been more wooden... Continue reading
Posted Feb 6, 2017 at Garbage Cinema