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Interesting piece by Bill Keller, Editor at the New York Times, in which he strives mightily to skewer Sarah Palin for insulting the august profession of journalism. Money shot: I was struck by the gratuitous quality of one remark she tossed off during that Rolling Thunder rally in Washington the Sunday before Memorial Day. When an NPR reporter asked what had brought her to the event, she replied, “It is our vets who we owe our freedom — not the politician, not the reporter — it is our vets, so that’s why we’re here.” There is, I suppose, a gracious way to translate her comments. She might have meant to convey something along the lines of: “I’m sincerely humbled by the sacrifice our veterans have made to defend the freedoms I enjoy in my capacity as a politician and Fox News media pundit.” But I think we all know she meant nothing of the kind. What Bill Keller doesn't know, because he is ignorant of the military and the purpose of the Rolling Thunder rally -- to bring awareness to the sacrifices of our veterans and POW's -- is that Mrs. Palin was referencing a powerful and often-quoted poem by Father Dennis O'Brien, USMC: It is the Soldier, not the reporter Who has given us freedom of the press. It is the Soldier, not the poet, Who has given us freedom of speech. It is the Soldier, not the campus organizer, Who has given us the freedom to demonstrate. It is the Soldier, not the lawyer, Who has given us the right to a fair trial. It is the Soldier, who salutes the flag, Who serves beneath the flag, And whose coffin is draped by the flag, Who allows the protestor to burn the flag. What Bill Keller also doesn't know is that former Democrat Zell Miller quoted the poem in his speech during the 2004 Republican National Convention: Never in the history of the world has any soldier sacrificed more of the freedom and liberty of total strangers than the American soldier. And our soldiers don’t just see freedom abroad, they preserve it for us here at home. It has been said truthfully that it is the soldier, not the reporter, who has given us the freedom of the press. [cheers] It is the soldier, not the poet who has given us the freedom of speech. It is the soldier, not the agitator, who has given us the freedom to protest. It is the soldier who salutes the flag, serves beneath the flag, whose coffin is draped by the flag, who gives that protester the freedom he abuses to burn that flag. What Bill Keller doesn't know, apparently, could fill up an entire op-ed piece. Or a newsroom. Continue reading

Infantrymen, Your counsel has been requested yet again: Dear Uber Pig: This morning I was at the gym, doing my normal workout on the Elliptical machine. So this relatively good looking young lady hops on the treadmill in front of me, and I notice she has kind of a nice Kardashian. So, I am working away, building a sweat, and before I know it, 5 minutes have passed, and I am still staring at her ass. I pan my eyes up, and (oh shit) realize I am flat out busted, thanks to the large mirrors in the front of the room. Now, I swear I wasn’t checking her out. It was like watching a Furbie hump a football, it just happened to be the most interesting thing to look at at the time. So anyway, I quickly decided I had 3 courses of action: 1) Pretend I am blind, and start waving my head back and forth like Stevie Wonder. 2) Pull the hoodie down over my head (which has the added of making me look like a Jedi Knight) so that no one can see my eyes, and just Charlie Mike. 3) Recognize that this poor girl probably has a low self-esteem, and try to offer something encouraging and classy, like: Good job sweet tits, got quite a turd-cutter on you. I went with option 2. What should I have done, or was there another option? Jim Nasium As always, your advice in the comments below. -- Uber Pig PS: Need advice? Send your questions to enlistedswine@gmail.com. Continue reading

Infantrymen, Sorry for my blogging dry spell. I've been working on a software startup that's taking a lot out of me. But the other day I got an email from a stud who's about to deploy, and had to take a minute out to put it up on his behalf: Dear Mr. Pig, I'm a Para-Rescueman from Sacramento getting ready to deploy for my second time to Afghanistan. I'm looking forward to the deployment. Shit, in this humble airman's opinion, there's nothing more awesome than deploying to the Stan as a PJ. It's kind of like being Charlie Sheen, but instead of banging porn stars left and right I get to save lives. Sadly, there exists a rather large bumblebee in my astroglide. See, I've been dating this girl for the last few years, but she's just way too into me. She's knitting me scarves and so on, and all my boys think they're gay. Kind of like that other Jon Cryer guy from 2.5 Men. Plus she has this way of insinuating herself into relationships with my brosephs that I don't appreciate. You know, like trying to set them up with her not very attractive friends. I mean, seriously, my friends are warrior monks, with chiseled physiques and IQ's you would not believe. They date swimsuit models with PhD's, not meter maids with goiter. Anyway, just as I was getting ready to give her the whole "it's not me baby, it's you" speech over surf & turf at my local Outback Steakhouse, she told me she had a present for me. And then she turned around in our booth and showed me this present. And to my chagrin, the present was a tattoo of my name on her left buttock, and then this little + (plus) symbol and then her name + "4ever." I spit out my Bloomin' Onion. Through my f!@#ing nose. And then I lost my nerve, totally aborting the mission. So yeah, anyways, my question is simple: How do you break up with a girl who has your name tattooed on her left buttock? -- Motivated in Mountainview As always, your advice in the comments below please. -- Uber Pig Continue reading

Infantrymen, One of our readers, Josh Grabow, in the comments to this post, has a response to a particularly stupid comment from a particularly stupid commenter -- a comment which claims soldiers (or men?) who support the end of DADT are something less than men: **** thats the sort of insanity that pushes a very conservative block of people (the military) away from your positions. Fred Phelps and his loony toons were enough to make a lot of guys who grew up in an earlier time look harshly at homophobia, and your style of shrillness may do the same here. Now, I grew up pretty hardcore religious, so I understand your positions, if I don't agree. But the level of investment (caps are the tipoff) you throw into this on a blog is pretty noteworthy. It's a joke. We're soldiers, we joke about a lot of inappropriate things. This isn't even inappropriate. So settle the hell down, have a giggle, and quit worrying about the downfall of western society. I guarantee you one thing. When it all implodes, as all things must, the military will be the last to founder. I guarantee one more thing, DADT (or the lack thereof) won't change anything. You're angry about nothing. There's plenty of room for disagreement about whether or not DADT should have been shut down, or specifically should have been shut down in court. But the next time you feel like expounding your batsh@#t crazy religious or social views without having the slightest bit of domain experience (you've never served in the military) then think twice, breathe a little bit, and ask yourself if what you have to say supports or detracts from the tenets of this (Matt Burden's) blog: Supporting the Military Caring for the Wounded Remembering the Fallen Honoring the Sacrifices Namaste, Uber Pig Continue reading