That's awesome that you wouldn't give up! Sometimes I wonder if my girls are too afraid of trash...they leave it all for me to clean out of their boxes later. I'm especially fond of the banana peels!

Congrats on Megan's graduation!! I'll see you next month at the Summit, right? I'm so looking forward to it!

And that's the fun of this balancing act, isn't it? Trying to figure out when our child is ready for the next step. It makes you long for the old days when the progress was self-driven: she took her first step, she said her first word! But the real challenge of parenting comes when it's up to us to make these decisions for them: to know when to let go, to trust that the guidance has gotten through. And I echo Kim's comment, too, btw.

It took me years to figure my mother's obsession with shoes. We're ALL looking for that perfect pairing (pardon the pun) of comfort and cute. I think the shoe designers are just messing with us. We all have to make a choice. (And this Los Angeleno is with you, btw.)

That horrifies me, Karianna! I admit, I was naive to just how much bad counsel there is out there because Ive had really good experiences with therapists, as have my children. Which is why I wanted to write about this experience: to remind us (me, mostly) that regardless of the job title, someone should have to earn our trust. Thanks for commenting.

Thank you so much for articulating so clearly what I was trying to say!! I spoke with one of the Staff today at the girls after-school program about the whole thing, and the thing is, I dont think the Mean Girls are necessarily bad. Theyre going through all the same feelings of insecurity that my daughter is going through, but expressing it differently. I was hoping that theyd all get a chance to find better, healthier ways to empowerment, but unfortunately, the conflict resolution didnt do anything to encourage that. Still, my daughter and I had an excellent talk tonight, and I think that shell get through this. Weve both learned some major lessons here!

Thanks, Andrea! I did indeed have a talk with the counselor, and after going around in circles for a while, I think she understood that no matter how good her intentions, the end result was quite different. My daughter spoke to the Assistant Principal yesterday, but last night, she decidedly did not want to talk about it anymore (I think she just needed an emotional break). Im just glad shes in therapy on a regular basis, and I have talked to her therapist about it so shell know what my daughter will need in next weeks session!

Unfortunately, the Mean Girls decided that not having to be friends with my daughter meant they could tell her where she could sit (or not sit) on the bus! Of course no one has to be friends with anyone, but instead of empowering my daughter to come to that conclusion for herself, it was foisted upon her by both the counselor and the Mean Girls, and just left my daughter feeling like the bully won.

Excellent advice, thanks, Eli! And I have about 3 years to plan it :)

Thanks for your comment. I read this yesterday and thought you said it so beautifully. I am actually very grateful I was raised without religion. I think it would've been too painful to try and parse this all out, and I would have hated the possibility that I was too ignorant to try. I loved what you said about the church being a human institution. It is, and needs to be held accountable just like the rest of us.

Still not done with the book yet, but it is making me look at these issues in a whole new light. Particularly with all of the recent news about bullying, I think these girlhood dramas can be a form of bullying that can be devastating not just in the immediate, but into their adulthood as well. Even without having finished it yet, I definitely would recommend it!

No, I know you werent advocating leaving, but I totally agree with your points. Sometimes I feel constricted by allowing others to have space on my blog. I havent made a final decision, but this great post of yours will be taken into consideration!

I've been debating back and forth whether or not to stop running BlogHer ads. While I'm not running right now to take them down, I most likely will very soon and this post gives me a lot of good reason to do so.

Awww, thanks, Mom!

Sylvia once even walked out the front door of our apt. (not our building). Not five minutes later, she came running in and knocked me down with a hug so big!

I'd be surprised if any mommy blogger hadn't had that moment at some point! And you know me - it's all about balance. I think that the benefits of being able to converse with so many different moms and learn from everyone still outweighs any disadvantages that may come.

Awww, he looks like a sweetheart! It occurs to me that I wasn't really clear on my comment over at LA Moms. I meant, at least she didn't want a younger brother or sister!

It's easier than giving birth :)

I wasn't patient as a child, so learning that trait for motherhood has been particularly trying for me. Happy New Year, Teresa! I hope to see you in 2010.

That cracked me up! Happy New Year to you and yours...and the lizard, of course!

No easy answers, but I will say this: I admire you so much for getting up every day and trying.

I feel your pain, Donna! I too had a Saturn in the '90s and loved loved loved that car, and that experience of being "Saturn-ized." It's really too bad that, amidst all the "buy American," they refused to allow a true original to flourish.

I've gotten my girls to behave in public, and yes, they can even be charming, but of course there are tantrums and meltdowns at home! It is difficult to be outnumbered, but I do try to find times to have date nights separately with each of them (sometimes getting my parents to watch the other in order to make that happen). I'm always looking for ways to be a better parent, too, but I try not to beat myself up over it, either.