Thank you all for reminding me again and again that I'm not alone. I wish you all the best in "thawing out" your writing! I will be moving on to other sites, soon, as this one is closing its proverbial doors. I hope you'll all follow me on Twitter (http://twitter.com/angelorr). Be sure to DM me so I can follow back and we can keep each other inspired with our writing adventures. May the keyboard fairies keep their mischief to themselves and your writing bring you great profit, both personally and professionally!

That's awesome that your son has found his passion. Keep feeding it! My little brother was a competitive gymnast. He started with recreational lessons, then my parents found a gymnastics center with a boys team and he really found his niche. He made lots of friends and learned how to impress everyone with his round-off/flip-flop/back-handspring combo. (He can still do a press to a handstand, 20 years later, which his new wife loves!) He competed all the way into junior high and it offered so many important lessons about teamwork, staying fit and caring for your body, dealing with frustration when learning something new, perseverance, etc. Gymnastics ROCKS for boys! Has everyone forgotten all of the famous male Olympic gymnasts? (I went to the men's Olympic competition at the 1984 Olympics in L.A. and, just between us ladies, those guys were HOT!) After the first few weeks of the other parents getting used to your son hanging out with their girls, there comes a time when the humor wears off. It's time to tell them how you feel--in as nice a way as possible. And without laughing. They need to know they're being insensitive. It's an important (social) lesson for them, too. (And if it gets to be too much...I'd look for another gym.) Good luck!

Good advice, Ivory. The trouble is that kids have different schedules than we do. Seems that every time I sit down to write during the day, my little one wants a book read to her, or wants to play a game or go outside or have a drink or, or, or... And night time is killing me. Then again, I could just plop them down in front of Phineas and Ferb for a while...but then I end up wanting to watch cartoons with them. Aargh! I'll keep working on it. Thanks for the suggestion.

Thanks, Sarah. I imagine there are a lot of us out there. It's nice to know we're not alone. Thanks for the kind words--glad you liked the post.

@Vaishnav2010: I didn't include details because so many great journalism pieces had already been written--some of them are linked to in my post. A Google search will turn up many more. This piece was also as much about my father and dealing with grief as a family, as it was about Sgt. Maj. Cottle. However, I'm sure readers will appreciate your sharing these points.

Oh, you ladies rock! LOL! I'm definitely RT-ing and posting everywhere, today. (Hey, can you gals work on one that will cancel out my husband's side of our arguments?!?) Thanks for the laugh.

So now we're privatizing freaking bake sales, too?!? Dang it, we need to reboot the whole damn education system. I'm so fed up!

This is EXACTLY what I needed, this week! I'm printing this out and putting it on my 'fridge. And the bathroom mirror. And the pantry door, by the bed, on the T.V. set, on the back of my seat in the car... Thank you for your eloquent articulation of the Parents' Mission Statement! (As for painting in the house...been there, done that. LOL!) You know... Maybe I should make up one of these for my students... And my husband... And my parents! Yes! Thanks for the inspiration!

Excellent, excellent post. I'm going to share this with my college students. Between this incident and the hateful things going down at UCSD, lately, I think we have a lot to talk about. This kind of ethnic violence isn't new...but I wish we could make it nothing more than ancient history. Sending hugs of sympathy and a whole lot of protective energy your way.

Update: On February 8, the California Community College Chancellor's Office announced a partnership with Kaplan University, a division of Washington Post Company (NYSE: WPO), to outsource online college-level courses to private industry. The stated intent is to allow our community college students to take courses at Kaplan that will then transfer back to the CCC system, thus expiditing the degree process. However, Kaplan's courses do not appear to be transferable to the UC or CSU system, thus jeopardizing our students' ability to complete their degrees. According Jane Patton, President of the CCC's Academic Senate, "It had been reported that Kaplan has previously contacted individual community colleges with a similar proposal...[and] were denied." This is a shocking move by the Chancellor's Office, putting the entire community college system in California in a position to potentially lose its national accreditation status. And it undercuts college faculty who could be teaching those same online courses. This is what we're up against.

Thank you for all of the great comments. Alix, this is actually based on a speech I gave at a teach-in held at the College of San Mateo on Feb. 3rd and 4th. The students responded with cheers, which was really encouraging, so I thought I'd share it, here. Kate, I love your mom's statement about raising a class of serfs. And you know who our "Lords" are, don't you? The owners of the large corporations, of course. In fact, see my next comment for an update...

Nicole, if I was his teacher, I'd recommend to your son that he "use his words" as it were--write an essay, a speech, a blog post. Surely he has to write for some of his classes. What teacher wouldn't be pleased to see a child so fired up about about something that he's willing to do "extra" work? Make it a part of what he needs to know to get by in the world; being able to write a logical, detailed letter to his congressperson or sway another's political opinion through reasonable arguments is highly valued in America. A short film, music lyrics, a poster that can be copied at Kinkos and posted around campus, a YouTube video put together with friends...so many ways to get the words out. I once told my daughter, do the assignment they ask you to do, but find a way to bend it to your own interests. Hate writing but love math? Turn your writing assignment into a word problem (she did that, once--her teacher was pleased as punch). There's always a way to express yourself in an academically acceptable manner, if you're passionate about something. Lisa, "Here, here!" A toast to the kids who pay their own way.

Myrna, I'd consider it an honor.

A fitting solution! LOL Well done. I hope your friend wises up. I also take issue with modern invitation etiquette, only my issue is somewhat the opposite--I have a problem with birthday invitations. If the invitee is my older daughter, I don't automatically assume my younger child is also invited, no matter how close the friends are (which of course makes little sister upset, but she'll have her own parties to go to soon enough, I assure her). However, I often arrive with the invited child only to be asked, "Where's the little one? Well, you surely could have brought her. Why didn't you?" Because her name wasn't on the invitation!!! Aaargh! I was also a bride who asked that no children be at my wedding reception. We had men in kilts (most of them going "commando"), it was going to run late, and seating was costly. We did, however, offer to provide child care for any parents who needed it. And one thoughtless (clueless?) parent still brought her little boy. Whose presence proceeded to screw up the seating arrangements such that other invited guests had to be moved around. You can tell your friend from me that she'll get over it. But the bride might not if your friend screws up her special day. Your friend can always take the little one to meet those relations, herself, if it's so darned important. But, between you and me, I think she just didn't want to hassle with a sitter.

My father was a career officer. I watched him struggle with the loss--and near-loss--of close friends. My mother used to listen to a scanner every time Dad was on the job, until it nearly made her crazy with worry. When she saw us kids turning it on at every siren wail in our small town, she threw it out. At least we had Mom. I can't imagine the grief and heartache Aubrey and her family will coninue to endure. My heartfelt empathy goes out to them. Thank you for the reminder to treat each day as the precious gem that it is.

@Linovino: No, of course not. He put my things in a brand-new garbage pail (like the one in the photo, above). Garbage day was still several days away--and he TOLD me they were in the trash, giving me plenty of time to get them out and put everything in its proper place. Neither would I have thrown The Bug's clothes away--she only had to believe I was capable of it, the way I believed my father was, should I have let my room get that messy, again. (If I really had thrown everything away, now THAT would have been pretty messed-up, I agree.) I know Bug well enough to think she wouldn't call my bluff--though, honestly, if she had, she could afford to donate some of her clothes to charity, or hand them down to friends, and still have plenty to wear. Given my own response (I did realize the value of a clean room, after that), I don't think I screwed my kid up for life...then again...who knows??? I'm sure I'll hear about it in a therapy session in her teens, if it did. Hey, we all do the best we can, right?

I think a lot of people in Palo Alto have been thinking the same way: Surely not HERE??? Someone made a comment to me to this effect at a party over a year ago, and I thought even then that this area was just as prone as any other to feeling the pinch. When cities like Flint, Michigan are turning into ghost towns and considering leveling whole neighborhoods of foreclosed properties, no one can escape the far-reaching effects. The stock market may be feeling some recovery, but I suspect it'll be many years before anywhere is safe from the fallout. I count my blessings I'm young enough to ride it out. My mother, on the other hand, can't afford to retire and my parents don't dare try to sell their house. My widowed mother-in-law is even worse off. I've been planning like we're in a Depression, not the near-recession we were led to believe. Needless to say, I don't even IMAGINE owning a home any more. Maybe I should just bury my cash in the planter box....?

Excellent post. Thank you for putting into words one of the most important (to my mind) and hard-won insights of women of our generation. It is NOT possible to have it all. But it IS possible to have more than many women in the world can ever hope to attain. There are, however, many trade-offs. If our daughters (and our sons, as well) can come to recognize that simple fact, perhaps we will all end up happier, knowing that the choices are ours. Parenting is a committment that can't be ignored. But it needn't be an exclusive endeavour--if we plan accordingly. Best wishes on the CBEST! I hope full-time teaching ends up being a good, family-friendly fit.

Maureen, I agree with you. The age of the youngsters (which generally equates to maturity) and the amount of time they've been together will set the tone for me, when the time comes. That's how my husband and I have delt with our two brothers and their girlfriends when either couple opts to stay with us. I will say this: if I think it's warranted, I'll be sure to have a conversation with my kids about keeping the 'noise' down. The last thing I want is to hear one of my daughters and her sweetie together. Ick.

Does this guy not realize he's in the business of selling food??? Given his cheekiness out on the floor, by the time my meal arrived, I'd be worrying about what was going into my dish back in the kitchen. Maybe a brief, descreet discussion with the manager after the just-before-walking-out-the-door potty break would have been in order. A letter would go even farther--in a company as large as Gordon Biersh, it WILL get passed around. And then you might want to avoid that place for a while, in case Mr. Philosophy badmouthed you to other servers!

Sorry, jmiranda. There's a yawning gulf in your argument. Yes, your day care provider was way out of line. But equating that to what's going on in Iran, right now???? Big stretch. If anything, your refusal to offer your child any information about religion at all is more in line with the Iranian Government's refusal to allow any non-approved information in or out of the country. Don't get me wrong--I'm a non-believer myself (raised Roman Catholic, I walked away from the church at 16) and have dealt with some of the same issues with family and friends. And I also have friends who grew up with no religious background whatsoever, who today wish with all their hearts they'd had something, anything, if only to have the right of refusal--the ability to make a choice. You've done what works best for your family. I'm not criticizing your decision in the least. I do, however, think you need to hone your critical reasoning skills in this post--because your argument is seriously flawed. To equate a day care provider who was acting on her religious belief that teaching a child about God is a good thing with a repressive, power-hungry religious regime is downright offensive.

Annie, I'm not entirely with you on the meaninglessness of the Iranian vote. I do get your point, but consider what happened when millions realized their votes were being ignored and their voices weren't being heard. There is indeed democracy in that country--just not the sort you and I are used to. If the country moves increasingly in that direction, it won't happen like we'd like to see it happen. It will happen the way the Iranians need it to happen, within their own historical and religious context. Even a spoiled child eventually comes to see that those things truly worth having aren't handed to you willingly--you have to fight for them. Perhaps one day Americans will reach a point where they're no longer willing to give up those freedoms in the manner your husband noted. And StephV: On the one hand, we don't need to get in the middle of the people's fight for a voice, thereby muddying the waters. Neither Iranian candidate loves the U.S., afterall. Then again, if they're going to hate us either way, I think Obama could make some stronger statements regarding the killing and maiming of peaceful, innocent civilians. BTW--I saw many police officers in videos and photos now standing on the side of the citizens. I saw no photos or videos of police forces actually using firearms (if you've got proof otherwise, please do correct me). It's the Baseej who are using handguns and billy clubs to kill and beat the protestors. They seem to be the ones who are going door-to-door and destroying computers, dragging young people from their beds, and raising the body count at the hospitals. It's the Baseej who have become the rotten limbs of this body, manipulated and twisted for the last 30 years. And their stink is finally reaching the heavens. What's to be done with the offending part? I worry where this will all go, eventually...

Because grey doesn't hook readers, sell papers, or keep your hand off that channel changer. Don't fool yourself into thinking it's anything new; it is an age-old story, my friends. Perhaps it is simply human nature to live grey lives yet prefer to see the rest of the world in black-and-white. There's a great line from the musical 'Wicked': "There are precious few at ease/with moral ambiguities/so we act as if they don't exist."