Mantel Man's Profile

Hey, you're blogging again! Good story, and an important lesson: intelligence in animals seems inversely proportional to tastiness. No one tried to eat Stephen Hawking.

Commented Dec 19, 2018 on Do That Moo-Moo That You Do So Well at Foolery

If it makes you feel any better, I'm wearing my new reading glasses right now. Hang in there! The first 49ers preseason game is only 3 weeks away. Now I'm off to the Porsche dealership.

Commented Jul 19, 2013 on 7 or 8 at Foolery

Your beer purchase reminds me of an episode of The Simpsons, in which police chief Wiggum is using a cassette recorder while interrogating Bart. The boy notices the cassette and says, "Hootie and the Blowfish?" Chief Wiggum answers, "Yeah, it was cheaper than blank tape." I'm guessing Chas didn't drink the beer.

Commented Mar 25, 2013 on Grocery Shopping in Fooleryland at Foolery

Ha! I don't know who the Korean guy is. But I'll bet he doesn't have enough business experience.

Commented Nov 7, 2012 on A No Punctuation Wednesday on Election Tuesday at Foolery

The University of South Florida Bulls called. They want their motto back!

Commented Sep 4, 2012 on Mollusk of America at Foolery

Sidewalk? What sidewalk? Did you people move to the big city (Orland)? That would explain why the kids are turning to violent crime.

Commented Aug 17, 2012 on Hopscotch: Blood Sport at Foolery

Hilarious! Strange, though - I never had much use for a Shark Attack Barbie. "Black Plague Ken" was my go-to toy.

Commented Jun 15, 2012 on Comedy = Tragedy + Time at Foolery

Don't feel bad. I speak a small, insular Spanish. Mmmm . . . bife con pollo . . .

Commented Jun 2, 2012 on Bow Chicka Bow-Wow at Foolery

When I drove past the Occupy Portland encampment the other day, I thought it smelled like mouse poop and regret.

Commented Nov 19, 2011 on Pretty Sure There's No App For This at Foolery

Hey, no fair! I used to have to bring in the cows to receive that kind of cash. 'Course, I probably had hair in my eyes at the time... ...and a stinky diaper, maybe.

Commented Nov 10, 2011 on The Grades Are In at Foolery

I don't even know what the heck she was talking about, but I'm still mad at her. You need to go back to reading them Dr. Seuss.

Commented Sep 28, 2011 on Mantel Man, Here's Your Cape at Foolery

You should open a Korean restaurant. Give it a catchy name like "Park & Choo."

Commented Sep 18, 2011 on FooleryTweets: Busy at Foolery

Will the kids get to witness Leroy's castration? Grandpa might need someone to hold the utensils for him.

Commented Sep 4, 2011 on Leroy at Foolery

Shmaybe there was an electrical storm in the area . . .

Commented Aug 8, 2011 on What Do You Call That, Exactly? at Foolery

Mmmmmm . . . KFMC . . .

Commented Aug 6, 2011 on The Return of Mean Chicken! at Foolery

I never thought of our father as any kind of fairy, but you may be onto something. And your story is disturbingly reminiscent of my description of the old shoes in my closet, for which I was teased mercilessly. Where's the Justice Fairy?

Commented Aug 4, 2011 on The Chicken Fairy Won't Let Me Be at Foolery

Yeah, I'm sure that sort of thing is heard daily on chicken farms: "I've got a small cock. Wanna pullet?" Oh, and you described Dad perfectly (no, not the small cock thing, although how would I know) with the line "You should want one." He must've gotten it from Mormor, somehow: "You should want tomatoes and tamale pie."

Commented Jul 13, 2011 on A Cock and Bull Birthday Story at Foolery

Uh oh. Are some of the e-mail conversations that occur among you, Bocci, and me going to end up here? Do I even want to know how I will be identified in such a cartoon?

Commented Jun 28, 2011 on Foolerytweets: Pop-Up Book at Foolery

Ummm . . . who? And why has no one asked for a Mantel Man cutout?

Commented May 26, 2011 on Dr. Drew, We Can't Be Buds at Foolery

So, does Baloney Girl need a new nickname? And where in the world does one get half a dozen bacon suits? Makes me wonder what Frances & Co. will come up with for next year.

Commented May 23, 2011 on Team Bacon, Reporting for Duty at Foolery

This reminds me of what she told me three years ago: "You have a much bigger brain than I thought you had." You walk away wondering whether she had complimented or insulted you.

Commented May 13, 2011 on Here's What's Funny at Our House at Foolery

Someone should send this to Secretary Gates - I'll bet he'd find it amusing. The V.P. probably wouldn't.

Commented May 7, 2011 on The Situation Room Was Tense at Foolery

I guess it is unusual. The waistband of my hiking pants is a bit scratchy, so I tuck in my shirt for comfort. Please tell Bocci that at least I CAN tuck in my shirt...

Commented May 7, 2011 on Brother Bocci For the Win -- D'OH! at Foolery

Good review! I can't Tweet, and I can't "like" or "follow" or "wink at" it on Facebook or Myspace or Stumble or Adult Friendfinder or Del.i.cio.us or LinkedIn. I'll have the Pony Express hand-deliver my comments as soon as the Benedictine scribes get their next shipment of papyrus. : ) Oh - and if this food helps with olfactory offenses, have you considered slipping some in with Dad's food?

Commented May 4, 2011 on Wally and Rilo: Confirmed Members of the Clean Plate Club at Fooleryland Reviews

Wow, that IS a small calf! They'll have to feed her a lot to ensure she's ready for the 2012 barbecue season. : )

Commented May 3, 2011 on Miss Mendocino, the Calf Who Vacations at the Shore at Foolery