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Married, homeschooling mom of teens. Managing a household, homeschooling and home dialysis with faith, humor and sarcasm.
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Two years ado today, I was unsure of my next moment. I had suffered endocarditis resulting in multiple mini strokes, seizures, etc. after being released to rehab, I had been read re-admitted. Another Christmas in the hospital. Jonathan spent his winter break in Bend, watching me seize continuously,. Kati had wrapped herself in caring for our new granbbadughter, who at only a few weeks when this began, needed her momma. John, as I recently found out, bargained with the doctors and God I!m sure, for just 5 more days here, 5 more there - each time they came to have "the talk". Precious friends posted updates they received to FB, begging for prayer on our behalf. I remember bits and pieces toward the end, John begging me to fight but conceding if it was too much he would let me go. What my husband endured those months, what our children endured, I can never comprehend. I do know they witnessed the covenant of marriage and love in action through the actions of their father As my brain would allow, I too bargained, begged, pleaded with God. Let me repair things with Kati, it cannot end this way. Let me enjoy... Continue reading
Posted Dec 25, 2015 at Living In Grace
Let me join the legions who are OH SO HAPPY in Internetland that RIMD is once more ♥ I have missed you, my friend. Jonathan is a freshman in college, pulling Dean's List for the second time. Out of a two year relationship and trying to figure out life. Kati, well she is having a baby girl at the end of June, and doing it by herself. She moved back home, so we are all trying to figure out how we are going to add a screaming newborn to to music of our lives. Oy!
Toggle Commented Mar 27, 2013 on (Is This Thing Still On?) at Rocks In My Dryer
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TypePad HTML Email Bess, you are the winner!! Shoot me a mailing address and I will get your prize in the mail a.s.a.p.. You will love it! Kelli
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This is an old post, a guest post that I wrote for a sweet friend Shannon from Rocks in my Dryer for her series entitles "What I'd Like You to Know". This entire series covers everything from bing a Single Adult, an American Mom Living Overseas to Living with Alzheimer's in the Family. I encourage everyone to go over and read these articles in her archives. The link to them all is here. at the bottom of the page, you can finish the series by clicking "More Posts". I hope this answers questions, encourage you if you or someone you know is living with Chroinc Illness. If you would like to contact me privately, simply send an email to jkbach(at) We are all in this thing together.... What I'd Like You to Know: Living with Chronic Illness Continue reading
Posted Aug 22, 2012 at Living In Grace
Tomorrow I embark on an adventure, a Hair Odyssey of sorts. About 2.5 years ago, I started hemodialysis for 3 months and lost the majorit of my hair in that time. No bald spots, just handfuls and handfuls evenly in the shower or during brushing. Many of you may remember how utterly devastated I was. "I may be sick, but I will always have my hair!" had been my mantra from the beginning of Stage 4 Kidney failure. Within 90 days, my long, thick beautiful hair was thin, wiry and turning grey. For all this time I have been praying it would grow back, refused to cut it at all, or to go short, determined no matter how much my family thought of my craziness. I believed it was coming back. (Can I get an Amen?) By now, my hair reached about the middle of my back and has not been colored in a year. (Yikes!) The salt and pepper has tried to take over, but some of the auburn has clung around. I have tried everything on the market to bring it to health. Even talk to it, like a plant. Last night while John was on his way... Continue reading
Posted Aug 19, 2012 at Living In Grace
Pillowcases are changing the destiny of little girls all over Africa. Please come over and see how you can get involved! Continue reading
Posted Aug 11, 2012 at Living In Grace
Being raised in Christian schcools, I became quite proficient at The Bible Drill- a fun exercise where the teacher stands in front of a group of eager beavers holding their Bibles up in the air. With no notice, a bible verse is yelled out, with everyone in the crowd frantically looking through their Bible then jumping to their feet and yelling it out. First one to find it, WINS! I was the Bible Drill Queen. Competative, ruthless, unyielding. But without the cool Scottish accent, of course ☺ In Jr. High, this gift metastisized into The Bible Bowl. Eight of us were placed on a two teams, then we answered questions from the Bible. After slamming our hhands down on a bell. Like War. Only Biblical. Our team became so proficient, that we were invited to the studios of TBN (think Paul and Jan Crouch, ohyessiree!) to be on their Satuday morning Bible Bowl competition. We were thrilled. Then? We were slaughtered. It was a Holy War, to ut it mildly. The other team never gave us a chance. But, it was 7th grade, and it was TV. Need I say more? A few months ago, I received word from... Continue reading
Posted Aug 7, 2012 at Living In Grace
From Grace Hill Media: Press Release Photo: 'Building of the Ark' The BIGGEST Biblical Epic since PASSION OF THE CHRIST. Darren Aronofsky (Director of BLACK SWAN, THE WRESTLER, REQUIEM FOR A DREAM) releases the epic Biblical tale of Noah and the ark. In a world ravaged by human sin, Noah is given a divine mission: to build an Ark to save creation from the coming flood. The screenplay was written by Aronofsky and Ari Handel and revised by Academy Award-nominated screenwriter John Logan (GLADIATOR, HUGO). The Current Cast Includes: Noah..…………………… Russell Crowe Naameh…………..……..Jennifer Connelly Methusaleh……………Anthony Hopkins Ila…………..……………..Emma Watson Ham………………………Logan Lerman Shem……………………..Douglas Booth Discussion: It is interesting how major Hollywood directors and networks are now turning their focus to The Bible and what that impact could be on mainstream culture and life. Examples: · GSN’s THE AMERICAN BIBLE CHALLENGE hosted by Jeff Foxworthy · Mega-TV Producer Mark Burnett & Roma Downey’s 10-part Bible series from the History Channel · Steven Speilberg’s MOSES Jonathan went out and bought The Passon of the Christ last night on our way home from UofO. He did see it in theaters when it first came out, and I think he was maybe 12. John, my dad,... Continue reading
Posted Jul 11, 2012 at Living In Grace
First published in 2007, here is a tribute to the legacy left by an amazing man ~ my daddy. Albert Moses (AM) Rush Born to Earth ~ September 1, 1926 Released to Heaven ~ August 22, 2005 Daddy had his Homecoming 4 months after his diagnosis of multiple myeloma cancer. This is his legacy ... 1926. He was born in Alexandria, Louisiana to a Jewish father and Gentile mother, that would both die within 6 months of each other when he was 11. Raised by his grandparents on the bayous, he was a hell-raiin' teen who once joined the sons of the sheriff, the mayor and a few other dignitaries in shootin' out the streetlights of town. Eventually, he was sent to military academy in Lexington, TN - and would go on to teach flying to those in the Army Air Corp at 16. His first love was flying, having soloed in 1935, at the age of 9. Without his parents approval. Around 18, he fell in love, got married, having two great kids- Randy and Robin. Years later, his business and marriage failing and without hope, he put a gun to his head in despair and pulled the trigger.... Continue reading
Posted Jun 17, 2012 at Living In Grace
I will be taking a bit of a break on the blog. Jonathan will be leaving for college in September, and I want to take advantage of every single minute that I have with him before things change forever. See y'all in abit. The archives will remain open for your viewing pleasure ☻ I hope your summer is an amazing one. Live. Love. Laugh. Continue reading
Posted Jun 15, 2012 at Living In Grace
Happy Birthday, Your Majesty. Long May You Reign. I found this picture, and just LOVE it. Because I am determined that I should have been born a hundred years ago in a small village in England, and the fun part? So does my son ... I have recorded anything and everything Diamond Jubilee related thiese past weeks. For those of you that been away in Borneo or under a rock, the Queen of England is celebrating her 60th year on the Throne). Kindof totally cool. I recorded the record-breaking 1000+ boat Regata/Pagaent (cinse it started at 4am here locally), and thanks to some lousy rainstorm overhead, our DishNetwork recording was 5 full hours of pixeled fun. Hip Hip Hooray! So, tonightwas the delayed broadcast of the Concert for the Queen, held at / on Buckingham Palace. Here are some thoughts from the broadcast (ad let me say that there are several youtube-worthy moments to go check out): Sir Tom Jones Sounds EXACTLY as he did my entire life. And I mean, he. sounded. GREAT! Sir Elton? Yeah, Not so much. However, it was a kick to see all the Royal cousins singing along to Crocodile Rock and just having the... Continue reading
Posted Jun 6, 2012 at Living In Grace
(And not a single thing about the "d" word - you kniw, dialysis). This has been composed over the course of the week, and on FB, but I thought I would throw it all together here in a big ol'mish mash... First off: Busy week this week, what with Jonathan determined to graduate and all. Sheesh. Tomorrow night - final Choir concert of the year. Of his high school career. Never more. Nope. Not again. Ever. As my dear friend DeeDee would say, "Hold me." Then, there is the Senior Awards Night Friday. They called us to tell us that he has won yet another scholarship. And to keep it a secret. Like, do not tell Jonathan. The problem with that? They called HIS phone and left the super-secret message. Ba-da-dum. So, as long as he does not talk to himself before Friday? They secret about the new scholarship award is super-safe. Then, Graduation is Saturday. May we not even go there yet? My denial about the whole things is firmly implanted, and before Friday he will be back in my arms, wrapped in swaddling clothes and lying in a manger. Or something like that. So, what does YOUR week... Continue reading
Posted Jun 5, 2012 at Living In Grace
Two things of significance happened today regarding my kidney failure and the life we are living... Continue reading
Posted May 29, 2012 at Living In Grace
Just realized the date. 6 years ago, today, was my very first dialysis treatment and the beginning of this whole mess, journey,. I was still working from home, helping the new clients of our company establish their phone support from soup to nuts. At the time, no one outside my home had a clue as to what was going on with us. Meetings were held on the phone, and there I was hooked up to the dialysis equipment. What a busy time it was. I held that up for about 6 months before it all came crashing down in November. At that point, it all was just too much and I was forced out onto medical disability. Rock on. The last 5 1/2 years have had highs and lows. I truly believe there are a few things that have held me together: My family - I have the most amazing husband anyone in my position can ask for. He had done things, seen things, handled things that no human should be asked to do. In the area of "sickness and health" he got the short end of the stick. But, instead of walking out, he stayed and became the rock... Continue reading
Posted May 8, 2012 at Living In Grace
Sarah. You leave me speechless. All the time. Where do you get all this love for me?
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Chuck, thank you for the prayer and for being behind Sarah on this. She tells me of the support her church, her workplace and her friends have given her this last year or two and I am in awe a group of people I have never even met. Strangers who are so willing to support her. Thank you.
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Sarah. I have no words for the gift you have offered me, and pray to God we get to do this thing at some point. I appreciate you sticking it out through all the indecision since the initial rejection. You would think, logically, I would be banging down their doors. But instead, their rejection just shut me down. Thank you. For everything.
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Mary, my dear sweet friend, thanks for hanging in there with me :)
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Thank you so so much, Janet. I certainly appreciate it.
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Hey everyone! Welcome to my Annual Update to the Blawg. Ahem. I cannot even apologize anymore for my lack of continuity. So. I will just move on. Just putting it out there, here we go. I have basically checked out the last year or so. Checked out of everything. Mentally Emotionally. Physically. Spiritually. I have been fighting depression in the area of my general health. My inability to walk, being stuck in a wheelchair, needing a kidney, being turned down by Cedars. I checked out. Any emotions I have expended have been geared towards my husband and kid's happiness. Me? Not so much. Hence the lack of updates. I have generally not wanted to put out there in writing, on the permanent record, the fact that I am not the strongest, most spiritual, haveitalltogether kind of gal. So. I have checked out. And I realize that has to change, but I have no idea how- or if- I can. I say to my family I want to do this or that, but then I find a reason not to follow through. And for those who know me- this is the Antithesis of Me. I am the Queen of FollowThrough and... Continue reading
Posted Apr 25, 2012 at Living In Grace
Yes, Sarah, my angel ☻☻☻
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We heard back from Cedars. They have a new Social Worker / Donor Advocate who is willing to talk to Sarah again, and make a recommendation on whether she can donate or not. (Last year, when Sarah was there for final clinical evaluations/interviews, the old SW/DA was the one who turned her down. So- she will conduct a phone interview with he, and report back to the team. If she likes Sarah, we will have to fly her back to LA for an undated round of testing. I will have to go in again as I haven ot been there in over a year, either. If all goes well, we can raise the $$ to get us the three of us there (John has to fly with me since I am in a wheelchair) and they sign off, we may e getting a date. I would assume this process of interviews et al will take a month or two, what with having to come up with the $$ get flights, hotels, et al., plus clinic dates fill up quickly. I am tentatively schedule to go May 25 for my annual, so that is the earliest i cn even get there.... Continue reading
Posted Mar 7, 2012 at Living In Grace
Some numbers that are on my mind this morning: 6 - the number of years this week since I was diagnosed in Stage 4 Kidney Failure. Seems I skipped over Stage 1,2 and 3, 6- the number of years this May that I will have been living only because of dialysis, whether daily, nightly, 3 or 5x a week. It has changed over the years for various reasons, and by various methods. 6 - the number of years I have been listed on the UNOS Transplant list. 1- the number of times I have recvd a call stating I was in line for an available cadaver (deceased person) donor. 2- the number "in line" I was for that one precious available organ. 53- the number of amazing people, mostly strangers but now lifelong friends, who selflessly offered to be tested as potential Living Kidney Donors. 52- the number of those whose antibodies got their rear-ends kicked by my antibodies. Instead of everyone playing happily in the sandbox together. 1- the number of those 52 that made it all the way to Cedars for final approval. An angel by the name of Sarah . 1- the number of team members, out... Continue reading
Posted Jan 28, 2012 at Living In Grace
Thank you, Dawn. I hope so, too, but honestly, I have had to start facing some realities and get out of my "of course, it will happen" mindset. The reality is, that statistically speaking I have worn out my welcome. I am on really borrowed time now. Without a living donor, it is done.
Toggle Commented Dec 22, 2011 on Because ... at Living In Grace
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And to you and yours, sweet Bess. Thank you for all your support through this. It is appreciated.
Toggle Commented Dec 22, 2011 on Because ... at Living In Grace
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