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When life tips under me, my instinct is to scramble back to the safety of the known. Familiar people, familiar habits, ways of being that are my normal, my right, my steady reliable safety. Getting back to work, getting back to capable, responsible, competent, emotionally balanced me. Getting stuff done,... Continue reading
Posted Mar 10, 2015 at quantum floe
My little sister posted this video on Facebook, laughing because, look, it's her! She's one of the most graceful people I know. Not because she's never klutzy, because she's often klutzy by her own admission. But she's humble and humorous and accepting of her klutzy self, tells stories on herself,... Continue reading
Posted Mar 3, 2015 at quantum floe
(that snack before dinner is only if they need/want it... missed that!)
Toggle Commented Jul 1, 2011 on Q&A: Food, eating, and emotions at Ask Moxie
@Heather, one of the things the clinic taught was 'family food culture' is important for picky or restricted eaters. ALWAYS having at least one thing in the family meal that each person likes (even if it is just bread) means they learn that 'we eat together from the same things' and it isn't all short-order cooking with something different for everyone. We only sometimes do the serving from table (due to logistics), but regularly do it in plating out in the kitchen. That approach fits nicely with yours - and allows even the picky ones to be 'normal' in the family food culture. @caramama, good reminder on the changes in appetite with growth phases - we have some kids who stop eating before or after a growth spurt (and sleep instead), and some who just kind of wander through the phase without much notable difference. I can't even remember who except G tended to eat a ton before phases, and then stop eating and just sleep through the spurt (still does, at 13). Likewise, appetite drops normally after mid-afternoon for younger kids, so a good reminder to Not Stress At Dinner (when they really should not be hungry at all, for typical, except for those kids who didn't get the memo!). Also, if you have food issues yourself (anyone), something that helped for me from the clinic (and to keep from traumatizing ANYONE) was to limit feeding time to 20 minutes. Don't hang out longer than that, don't press longer than that, don't do anything longer than that. Let them down and let them go. For kids with reflux, they may need to come back for seconds later (doing two small grazing feedings), but otherwise, let them loose and give them a quality snack later before bed. And if you think something's up, have it checked out - sometimes something is actually up (such as silent reflux, or sensory issues, or oral motor skills, or just simply being a supertaster, as I think 1 in 35 or so are...).
Toggle Commented Jul 1, 2011 on Q&A: Food, eating, and emotions at Ask Moxie
No reading time, but quick comments (yeah, quick for me!): I don't have a lot of food issues, but I got a bunch with my eldest because HE had food issues (oral aversion, trauma based plus silent reflux plus choking incident = strong avoidant behavior with food). He ended up in a feeding clinic when he was 5. So, where I didn't have food issues before, I sure got some landing on me! :) And I did normal American FOOD STRUCTURE on him, and boy did I learn how much that did not help. BUT, his little brother we started baby led because he just Did Not Like baby food. He was 'meh' entirely until he saw squash with onions garlic and black pepper on my plate, and went after some. I thought 'okay, someone gave me a grinder, let me try it' and WOO! He loved food from that moment on. He was about 7 months, I think. So, just over a month of 'American Feeding By Rote' heck-pie, and then 'whoa, this WORKS!' - I just ground up whatever we were having, put some either on the edge of my plate (so he could grab it while sitting on my lap) or on his tray, and off we went. Meanwhile, mr. I eat only white things was starting to head smack into full panic when exposed to a new food zone (not yet in feeding clinic, but actual fleeing the room in terror when new items were offered... uh, yeah, you'd think I would have noticed that as a Food Issue...) So, off to clinic, and... well search on 'hedra food' here, I bet you'll find the whole series on the things that quantify as normal feeding behavior, which is pretty limited for scope! If they'll taste it, they're normal (even if they don't like it). And food behavior is variable (not the same all the time). Mr B, who got to run with BLW? Has dietary issues, strictly limited for what he's allowed to eat, and within that will eat almost anything, and try almost anything, too. When we did the food diary for the feeding clinic, they looked at us like we were aliens, because on his list was stuff like bison and avocado and broccoli and salmon... Mr G had the reflux issue - if a child post-actual-weaning age starts to decrease in growth rate significantly (G did) and refuses to try foods and panics around new foods and so forth, there's likely a health issue under there. Mr G does not have a normal relationship with food, and probably never will - he actually could not sense hunger, it was that shut down. (talk about mommy regrets...) But once medicated for the reflux, and treated for the aversion (through feeding therapy and PT/OT), he became mostly normal (he's also a supertaster, so everying tastes really LOUD to him). He will eat salads, he'll find something he likes at almost any event, he keeps himself reasonably nutritionally balanced, even when there's not a lot of variety in his diet. And then we had twins, and if that won't teach you to completely let go on food control, nothing will (heh). We were chasing two older kids, and just throwing food at the twins on their trays (BLW again). At 9 months, I was getting a little concerned that the girls would always trade food items (miss M would take the majority of the meat between the two of them, sitting next to eachother, and Miss R would take most of the carbs, miss M liked dark green veg, Miss R liked yellows and lighter greens...)... and then they were tested for iron levels, and sure enough Miss M was actually low on iron (and was self-selecting toward iron-rich foods). So, hey, they were listening to their bodies. That was SO reassuring. Now, they also had digestive issues, and we did have that (mommy traumatic) choking incident (I swear by those safe feeder things, if your child will accept them at all, and also by Infant/Child CPR training, which really reduced my anxiety around choking, especially after having to use it and finding that using the skills was easy and quick and worked). But they eat stuff. They cut things with knives, they help cook, they have generally good range, and the food issues they have are entirely related to having super-restricted diets since they can't absorb fructose effectively. I really liked baby-led weaning in terms of 'allowing them to pick from the family meal items'. I also found Ellyn Satter's stuff useful for getting over the trauma of having a child who was in a feeding clinic. It gave me a real sense of the range of normal, and knowing how broad normal was, I could be less concerned about where exactly in that range any of us were (and oh, yeah, I did spot a few items that were food issues of my own, and was able to manage them much better once I could identify them accurately!).
Toggle Commented Jul 1, 2011 on Q&A: Food, eating, and emotions at Ask Moxie
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Mar 15, 2010
Many camps have financial aid. The one G is in does. We didn't use it (family aid instead), but it was there.
Toggle Commented Jul 8, 2009 on Sleeping away at Hands Full of Rocks