Oh Matri, it's really not about courage but all about living with situations as gently as I may and saving energy and wit for building on my daily practice rather than using in battle or defeat. It's find markers, beacons and signs for my self and holding on to these gently so they may help rather trip me up but knowing all may become redundant as moments pass and be ready to let them go without a backwards glance so I may discover what will be my new way marks to replace these. I love the idea of getting a long boat, just the head gear I don't fancy...probably look like a member of the chorus in the ring cycle however I have always wished that I could have a Viking funeral but suspect a steel narrowboat would bot have quite the same effect.

Thank you Cathryn, your comment made me smile. I've always adjusted the saying 'The devil is in the detail' with the addition of 'Not if I get there first.' My contract with life and its living could easily become beset by catches built in to the detail but wide nibbed fountain pen full of Imperial Purple soon strikes out such nonsense :0) Then there is that magical word, fearless, which I suspect is etched at the very centre of me just like seaside rock, doesn't mean I'm missing the fear response just no life is too short to waste it hopping from one foot to the other rather better walk forward facing demons and dragons down whilst stepping gingerly over their prone bodies. Thee will never be a memoir, the clue is in the name...memory and I have a long standing very loose acquaintance. Any book would need to be faction and I would need the services of a very patient copy editor for my wondrous typing skills but able to let through the creative grammar and spelling:0)

Thanks Teresa. Yes I think I am where I need to be at present, though forging forward is probably too strong an adjective for the purposeful plod I entertain:0) This home is the place I have lived longest in, in my whole life, so casting off stuff of this magnitude is really new as I have often moved around with just a large trunk and a box of books, today would need many a trunk and even more boxes for books :0) As to maintaining a semblance or happiness in our own life whilst bringing joy to others I know what you mean but i have always felt happiness is montary wonder and joy the very breath of life, so bring on th joy I say but give me heart and mind to catch glimpse of happiness and be in awe from time to time. Light laughter and joy is sent your way too and may happy healing be your measure too in whatever way that makes sense to you.

The long fast went well. My body didnt revolt too much, the secret for me is definitely to drink lots and accept that coffee does help with pain meds kicking in to action. I decided that during the hours when I would have been cooking eating etc I would make a concious effort to pause and consider the great fortune I have in being able to make this decision not have it forced upon me by circumstance or edict. No lack, how could there be when I have easy access to clean clear drinking water and if food was needed there is my larder sits ingredients for many a meal. We were blessed with a blue sky sunny day even if the wind was still rather keen so I spent some time outside sitting on the yard with RnB happily snoozing on their rug, after teeth cleaning of course:0) I played with some yarn that I want to weave up into fabric for a Teddy Bear Im wishing to make. Its certainly not going to be a brown or black bear as the colours I was playing with were yellow, black and pink and if you know Sirdar Wash and Wear Crepe youll understand that this is not going to be an understated bear:0) There is a story behind why that yarn and I may well blog that when the weaving has begun in the meantime it makes me smile. Also given that Spring has made fleeting forays in to my garden but declined the invite to stay or even move in a little introduced colour doesnt go amiss. Today rain is back combined with icy wind so makes yesterday all the more a gift.

Goodness, that sounds like an exciting project to be part of. I wish you well with your bid for the prize but get the distinct feeling that the group of people you have on board will not let prizes or lack of stop this important work. Glad to see that knitting still holds you in its embrace and you find moments to stop and breath deeply:0) We, Rhys and Banon, Flo-cat and me have today greeted the awakening of Spring with time in a rather neglected but much loved garden on a day when blue sky visited and rain is only showing itself now, chilly wind but in shelter the sun was warm on the nose. Daffoduils are showing shoots and buds seem to be forming early even after the last month of -C temperatures, hurricane winds, heavy snowfall and even heavier rain and that was just one day!:0) the joys of a lush green country with a water table that is two or three inches above the ground at present even here on the side of the valley. Glad to hear your family is doing well may the wheels of Academia get some WD40 added to them so you all may be together as you wish sooner than a memo can get round a department, cough. Yes life is loved deeply here in Wales, moments are always so good at continuing to arrive don't you think:0)