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Definitely the pandemic.
'WORSE THAN MULLET'
The circle beard. (Thanks to John Lobert)
A contemporary tune with Does your chewing gum lose it's flavor on the bed post overnight?
The excellence is obvious.
SAD DAY ON THE GEEZER BUS
R.I.P. Paul Vance, who co-wrote "Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polka Dot Bikini." (Thanks to Al Barkafski)
This must be the forest with the gorilla suit rental store on the way.
CASE CLOSED
Two men capture clip of 'Bigfoot running through the trees' as they drive in forest (Thanks to John Lobert)
Except in Australia, it's ok to whine about spiders in Australia.
LET'S NOT HEAR ANY MORE WHINING ABOUT SPIDERS
Wisconsin couple kills bear that attacked them in their home (Thanks to Bill Ostroot)
What kind of stool? EWWW!
IT CONFESSED AFTER THEY TIED IT TO A STOOL
Peruvian police catch “narco pigeon” trying to smuggle marijuana into prison (Thanks to B&C)
'305 Giraffes," would be a great name for a very tall rock band.
EVERYBODY STAY INDOORS
Asteroid the size of 350 giraffes to fly past Earth this week (Thanks to Paul, and to Fabian Marson, who notes that "comets are measured in hippos.")
Aren't red squirrels, cement or otherwise, from the UK?
DON'T THANK ME; I'M JUST DOING MY JOB
Here I am preparing to do battle with one of New York City's notorious giant cement squirrels.
Sounds a lot like Dory from Finding Nemo talking to the whales.
COPACABANA?
NASA pinpoints terrifying ‘sounds’ echoing from distant black hole (Thanks to Doug Ogg)
Somewhat unfamiliar with the concept.
SEXY *AND* REALISTIC!
Man is 'summer ready' after getting a six-pack tattooed on his stomach (Thanks to John Lobert)
Can't wait to see the t-shirts.
THE WHAT?
The Labia is Cape Town’s treasure of cinema. (Thanks to Unholy Slacker)
Sometimes parts of the world need to pass by, unmolested or unnoticed by the likes of us.
SOMETIMES WE GET THE FEELING THE WORLD HAS PASSED US BY
Hi Dave, Would you like to speak to Rito Rhymes, Infotaining Rapper and Technology Designer, about his upcoming performance this weekend at Dogepalooza and his collaboration by Dogecoin Foundation?
Wouldn't the sounds of a softly flowing river just amplify any noise that one was trying to mask?
NOBEL PRIZE ALERT
When you press the otohime button on the toilet’s control panel, a speaker plays a pre-recorded sound, usually of a softly flowing river, to mask any noise.... (Thanks to pharmaross)
Keeping it light in Greenville.
TERRORISM UPDATE
Multiple people hit with plates of whipped cream in Greenville (Thanks to Ralph)
Fear not, Dave. The language model relies on a dataset of TV show monologues.
You couldn't be more safe. Crack on!
UH-OH
Witscript: A System for Generating Improvised Jokes in a Conversation Witscript employs well-known tools of natural language processing to extract keywords from a topic sentence and, using wordplay, to link those keywords and related words to create a punch line. Then a pretrained neural network...
It should be pretty clear what this website's mental health information is by now.
DEPARTMENT OF EMAILS THIS BLOG DID NOT FINISH READING
Hi there, I wanted to follow up with you on the email regarding your website's mental health care information.
snark@motw!
NICE, UM, LOBES
Vietnam’s latest cosmetic procedure trend has people injecting hyaluronic acid fillers into their ear lobes in order to achieve elongated lobes like those of Maitreya, aka Laughing Buddha, considered a good long charm. (Thanks to Bob Brogan)
was the bear also wearing pajamas?
WHY THE BEARS HAD CORNED BEEF WE’LL NEVER KNOW
Bears approach man with corned beef, open car door in Sierra Madre (Thanks to The Perts)
"Neither do I too."
- Stan Laurel, some movie a loooooong time ago.
WAIT, WHAT?
Hi Dave, I wanted to get in touch to check whether you have seen my previous email dated 25th February. If not, please see it again for your use.
Where can one purchase such a suitcase? Asking for a friend.
SHE’D FIT RIGHT IN ON THE STREETS OF MIAMI
Drunken woman on motorized suitcase leads police chase through Orlando airport, officials say (Thanks to pharmaross)
Two questions:
1. What does Steve eat?
2. What is THAT doing in his car?
'NO ONE WANTS TO RIDE WITH HIM'
Man finds giant spider in his car and decides to keep it there as a pet for entire year You know the continent. (Thanks to John Lobert)
Autoerogenous orgasms?
OPTIONAL ON YOUR TESLA
Elon Musk’s Neuralink 'Brain Chip' could give users orgasms on demand (Thanks to Static Joeage)
How disappointing.
OR ELSE
STOP SAILING SHORT LOW BALLS (Thanks to pharmaross)
Add scorpions to the list which seems to confirm that Australia welcomes any uber lethal lifeform that makes it onshore.
I've always suspected that broccoli iwas deadly anyway.
IT WAS HIDING FROM THE SNAKES
Australian woman finds scorpion in package of broccoli (Thanks to Ralph and pharmaross)
Further excavations have unearthed an ancient vending machine and stone cans in a recycle bin.
THIS IS WHY YOU SHOULD ALWAYS TIP YOUR BADGER
A badger has led archaeologists to a hoard of more than 200 Roman coins that had been hidden in a cave in Spain for centuries. (Thanks to The Perts)
Is there anything that ruthless dictator can’t do?
It may be possible that a burrito invented him.
SEEMS LEGIT
North Korea is claiming that Kim Jong-il invented the burrito (Thanks to Jim Kenaston)
More...
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