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This mask both creates and catches the vomit.
Commented 3 days ago on NO at Dave Barry's Blog
NO
Just, no. (Thanks to Captain McBragg)
Are we sure this study isn't from the University. of Methbridge?
Commented May 18, 2020 on THE SCIENCE IS SETTLED, DUDES at Dave Barry's Blog
THE SCIENCE IS SETTLED, DUDES
According to a study being conducted at Canada’s University of Lethbridge, scientists are now theorizing that certain marijuana strains could possibly prevent COVID-19 infection. (Thanks to Peter Metrinko)
How far away can bumper bars be?
Commented May 18, 2020 on AS A BONUS,THEY ALSO MAKE IT HARDER TO FALL DOWN at Dave Barry's Blog
AS A BONUS,THEY ALSO MAKE IT HARDER TO FALL DOWN
A Maryland bar unveiled an innovative solution to help patrons remain socially distant when it fully reopens — inner tubes on wheels. (Thanks to John Lobert)
Does Walter make three in these "coincidental" fashion statements?
Commented May 18, 2020 on SUNDAY NIGHT THEME at Dave Barry's Blog
SUNDAY NIGHT THEME
The theme tonight is Lockdown Fashion. What are you wearing? For the past couple of months the fashion trend here at the blog has been what could best described as "T-shirt and shorts" (or as the French say, "Le T-shirt and le shorts"). This morning we discovered we were wearing, by random chanc...
Dave Barry for President!
Neither do I too.
Commented May 7, 2020 on THURSDAY NIGHT OPEN THREAD at Dave Barry's Blog
THURSDAY NIGHT OPEN THREAD
Tonight we are asking you to come up with a new slogan for this blog's presidential campaign. One of our previous slogans appears on the bumper sticker below; there have been others, including "Your Political Beliefs Here" and "Yes, Of The United States." But we're thinking we might need a new o...
How about the "Things to Try," with Cheez-its?
Commented May 6, 2020 on TUESDAY NIGHT OPEN THREAD at Dave Barry's Blog
TUESDAY NIGHT OPEN THREAD
Do you have an Amazon Alexa? The kind with a screen? If so, does it annoy you that Alexa's screen is constantly displaying messages asking if you want to hear a joke, or suggesting that you try something you have no desire to try, like baking cauliflower brownies, or making a canoe out of popsic...
Jimi Hendrix in Boston, sometime in early 1970, maybe. He made his strat do things that my psychedelic condition, at that moment, was not expecting and certainly not prepared for. After the show we got a flat tire and decided to sit on the side of the road until it fixed itself.
Ah, good times.
Commented May 4, 2020 on MONDAY NIGHT OPEN THREAD at Dave Barry's Blog
MONDAY NIGHT OPEN THREAD
The theme for tonight is Most Memorable Live Concert You Saw And Still Remember Despite The Fact That You Might Have Been "On" Something And We Are Not Talking About Beer. This blog's entry is an August, 1967, show in Washington D.C. put on by a new artist named Jimi Freaking Hendrix. Whoa. This...
@Peter M: I also vote for The Music Box by Laurel & Hardy.
Commented May 4, 2020 on SUNDAY NIGHT OPEN THREAD at Dave Barry's Blog
SUNDAY NIGHT OPEN THREAD
What, in your opinion, is the best comedy movie ever made? This blog is a huge fan of This Is Spinal Tap, Animal House, Airplane!, The Big Lebowski, Blazing Saddles, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, and many others that this blog cannot think of at the moment because this blog is aged and mental...
Some people should not try capitalism.
Commented May 1, 2020 on LET'S PLAY 'HOW HIGH DO YOU HAVE TO BE TO...' at Dave Barry's Blog
LET'S PLAY 'HOW HIGH DO YOU HAVE TO BE TO...'
David Pangallo, 34, was at a drive-thru bank in Jefferson County on Friday when he attempted to deposit cash through a tube, according to the sheriff’s department. Included with the cash was allegedly two bags of cocaine. (Thanks to Ralph)
Has it really come to this? Faux interest in cricket?
Sheeeesh!
Commented Apr 24, 2020 on AND IN SPORTS at Dave Barry's Blog
AND IN SPORTS
The problem posed by the use of saliva to polish the ball is understood to be among the items raised by the ICC's medical committee to be addressed before cricket can resume, meaning that lateral thinking is required to allow bowlers and teams to continue to find effective ways to shine the ball...
Politician in training.
Commented Apr 23, 2020 on IN THAT CASE, SIR, YOU ARE FREE TO RESUME THE DEMONSTRATION at Dave Barry's Blog
IN THAT CASE, SIR, YOU ARE FREE TO RESUME THE DEMONSTRATION
An ex-con arrested for allegedly hitting and choking his girlfriend told Florida cops that he was not actually attacking the woman, but rather demonstrating “how I was previously arrested for domestic battery,” according to a court filing. (Thanks to pharmaross)
Oh, the cowmanity!
Commented Apr 20, 2020 on THIS IS ONLY THE BEST ACTION VIDEO EVER at Dave Barry's Blog
THIS IS ONLY THE BEST ACTION VIDEO EVER
For reals.
Beg pardon, Mr Barry: aren’t all our threads open?
Commented Apr 10, 2020 on APRIL THE SOMETHINGTH OPEN THREAD at Dave Barry's Blog
APRIL THE SOMETHINGTH OPEN THREAD
We welcome your thoughts. Also: Should we keep the open threads going? Are people getting bored with them? Are people making comments purely out of pity? WE DON'T WANT PITY COMMENTS, DAMMIT. Why yes, we have commenced cocktail hour. Why do you ask?
any diversion will do.
Commented Apr 1, 2020 on NEW YORK GRAPPLES WITH THE ISSUES at Dave Barry's Blog
NEW YORK GRAPPLES WITH THE ISSUES
Andrew Cuomo's nipples. (Thanks to Ranald Adams and pharmaross)
Every year, this happens. Every year...
Commented Apr 1, 2020 on YOU THINK THINGS ARE BAD? at Dave Barry's Blog
YOU THINK THINGS ARE BAD?
They're worse than you think. (Thanks to many people)
@Jeff M
Hope you are feeling better. We heard you were (non-virus) ill.
Commented Mar 31, 2020 on MONDAY NIGHT OPEN THREAD. at Dave Barry's Blog
MONDAY NIGHT OPEN THREAD.
Or Thursday. What difference does it make?
The think that would cure most of our virus ills is to find another show like "24" and have Dave sit on his couch, a legal distance from the people and dog that he loves, and lead us (assisted by the Amazing Steve), as he once did in a weekly snark-a-thon. It would really reduce our temptation toward covidiocy and move the world in the right direction. More or less.
Commented Mar 23, 2020 on OPEN THREAD at Dave Barry's Blog
OPEN THREAD
Blog community, feel free to weigh in here on the COVID-19 situation and all the covidiotic things that have been happening during this time of worldwide suckage. Also let your fellow blog people know how you're doing in the crisis. Do you have enough toilet paper? Food? How about toilet paper? ...
Maybe the video will go viral.
Sorry
Commented Mar 21, 2020 on ATTENTION, SELF-QUARANTINERS: at Dave Barry's Blog
ATTENTION, SELF-QUARANTINERS:
I made you a really unhelpful self-help video. (Give it a little while to get started.)
@fractalist...Didn't Scarlatti Bosso pioneer polka punk?
Commented Mar 19, 2020 on OUR WORST FEAR HAS BEEN REALIZED at Dave Barry's Blog
OUR WORST FEAR HAS BEEN REALIZED
(Thanks to Roberto)
Someone once said. " a gentleman is someone who knows how to play the accordion and doesn't."
Great bumper sticker: "I play the accordion and I vote."
Commented Mar 19, 2020 on OUR WORST FEAR HAS BEEN REALIZED at Dave Barry's Blog
OUR WORST FEAR HAS BEEN REALIZED
(Thanks to Roberto)
That's county not couty, although they may have couties. Please no panic buying.
Commented Mar 16, 2020 on THEN WHY EVEN *HAVE* 911? at Dave Barry's Blog
THEN WHY EVEN *HAVE* 911?
Newport PD asks public to avoid calling 911 because they ran out of toilet paper (Thanks to Ralph)
This is the end of Flathead Couty.
Commented Mar 16, 2020 on THEN WHY EVEN *HAVE* 911? at Dave Barry's Blog
THEN WHY EVEN *HAVE* 911?
Newport PD asks public to avoid calling 911 because they ran out of toilet paper (Thanks to Ralph)
can we all get an Amen!
Commented Mar 16, 2020 on SEEMS LEGIT at Dave Barry's Blog
SEEMS LEGIT
Televangelist claims to cure coronavirus through television sets (Thanks to John Lobert)
Definitely the squirrels and their proxy kangaroos.
Commented Mar 16, 2020 on THEN WHY EVEN *HAVE* 911? at Dave Barry's Blog
THEN WHY EVEN *HAVE* 911?
Newport PD asks public to avoid calling 911 because they ran out of toilet paper (Thanks to Ralph)
Poopus! This doesn't even rise to the level of fake news.
Commented Mar 7, 2020 on THIS CHANGES EVERYTHING at Dave Barry's Blog
THIS CHANGES EVERYTHING
Sharks love jazz music but don’t get classical, scientists reveal (Thanks to Jay Brandes)
More...
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