I didn't fully understand the trauma response, until I witnessed the opposite of it. When I was a mother of young children, I didn't even have this language or the awareness that what I was doing had a name. And more, that it was possible to course correct. Actually I didn't even know I was traumatized by having been sexually abused - and this crippled me to responding in healthy ways. When a child of mine was out of control - I would rise higher. Speak louder - okay yell. I fought to gain control by becoming bigger, louder, more... Continue reading

I watched Michele Obama being interviewed about her latest book "The Light We Carry" with Oprah and they talked about Michele's friends. The ones she calls her Kitchen Table. The Kitchen Table has a relaxed image - one where we don't have to put on aires. We can be ourselves in this group. In fact, we feel at home with them and our truth is honored. These friends are found along our journey of life. We carry them with us, as we grow, evolve and face some of life's darkest moments and celebrate with us our achievements and joys. As... Continue reading

Yesterday a woman who had great influence in my life turned 90. I did not celebrate. This woman began programming me as a young child. Both in religious ways and codependent dysfunctional ways. She created the daughter she needed and I dutifully followed her lead. As a child I looked up to her and I believed she was a woman of substance and had high morals and good values. I believed she stood against things that were wrong. I grew up to imitate her. Looking back on it now - I was her - in that my life was dictated... Continue reading

We had been to the Badlands when our kids were little. We both remember them climbing over these ball like formations. We never did see what we remembered. The new rules prohibit wandering off the trails. There were a few small hikes/trails to see a better view. We saw big horn sheep, mule deer, prairie dogs and buffalo here. And more snow. Enough snow to show some cool contrasts. What a wonder nature is. These trees are Juniper Trees. The birds eat the berries and drop their seeds and are responsible for planting more trees in these canyons. I LOVE... Continue reading

We traveled down so many beautiful roads and loved seeing what was around each bend. By the time we made it home, we had traveled almost 5,000 miles. That seems unreal to me. And, I didn't drive once. My husband prefers to drive and I navigate with an old fashion road atlas on my lap. We also use the phone and car navigation. I can't imagine now how we did it with just road maps. But we like to have the atlas with us to see what is in the area etc. We spotted wild life right away - as... Continue reading

It was a breath of fresh air to leave the city behind and back to the mountain drives - heading towards the Tetons and Yellowstone. Soon we were on a desolate stretch of road - miles and miles of seemingly black and white. Beautiful in its simplicity. Our intention was to head into the Teton Mountains - Jackson Hole and up through the south east corner of Yellowstone. We spent the night in a small town heading north to Jackson. In the morning we continued North seeing more incredible mountain sights. We could see the traces of recent snows -... Continue reading

After Zion, we headed north to the Great Salt Lake. It was nothing like I expected. The day we were there, many small birds (maybe ducks) were dead on the beach. The smell alone made it a less than desirable lake. There was an open pit mine near by - we were a week early - for the three hour tour. Again, IF you plan - these things you would know. Next time. I will have to do some research before we leave home. Also by the beach we were at was a Music Venue. These mountains were in our... Continue reading

After Bryce, we drove to Zion. This park the road goes through most of it. At the Western end you can then take a shuttle to see deeper in to the park. They no longer allow traffic to just drive through this section - unless you are a guest at their lodge and perhaps camping. What I didn't know, until we got on the shuttle, was that you couldn't just hike when you wanted. The hiking reservations had to be made one day in advance. So, needless to say I didn't hike. There was one I wanted to see -... Continue reading

We left Arches and drove to Richfield for the night. I was getting used to seeing the Mountains on the horizon. They were so fascinating to watch and wonder how we would go through/over them. We went out to dinner and this is the sight that greeted us. Of course the moon appeared much larger to the naked eye. The next day we drove to Bryce Canyon National Park. You did not need a reservation - but most of the park was closed due to snow. We did however get to see a wonderful canyon. I would have like to... Continue reading

The next day's plan was to get to Arches National Park. To enter this park you have to make a reservation. Some spots are filled months out and then there are opportunities the night before - at 6pm they open the link to apply for a spot. I was a bit worried we would drive all the way to Moab and not get in. But, we got our spot. I was so excited. We had the perfect day - bright and clear! The landscape started to change. And we started spotting jeeps. Big groups of jeeps. They were on trails... Continue reading

We left the kids and headed south into Wyoming - on our way into Colorado. There are a lot of fields to travel through between South Dakota and Wyoming. Dropping into Colorado, the fun began. It felt good to be in a snowless place - or almost. I did a short hike along the path and over the river. This was a neat art installation at a park along a river - on our way to Estes Park CO. It was fun seeing the mountain goats - near Rocky Mountain State Park. (Which was closed due to snow) It was... Continue reading

We took a Spring vacation - heading south and west - towards the mountains. Stopping first to see our two grandchildren in North Dakota. They were so fun and warmed right up to us. But first we had to drive through some nerve wracking roads for me. The pictures don't show the slush and crazy drivers. 11 in the ditch in 198 miles - between Fargo and Bismarck - one landed on its roof. It made for an intense ride. I tried really hard to be quiet. I now have much respect for the winter winds and snow across the... Continue reading

Life is interesting when you get into your retirement years. The time opens up and responsibilities fade away - and you now get to choose what you want to do. While freedom sounds good - I feel that it is also complicated. I believe I was able to hide behind responsibilities and that it is easier to just get in line and do a job. It is much harder to not waste a life. A part of me wants to make a difference in my life. I want to live a life I don't regret. This first year I learned... Continue reading

This is the Art Director posing with my quilts. I LOVE how she chose to interact with my art. This will be one of my favorite photographs. There was an artist reception for me and I decided that I would get others to interact with my art. It was so much fun! When your face is being taken care of - you then use your body to express yourself. We all smiled big behind the quilt. Just a reflex when someone takes your picture, you put your best face forward. The fun we had with these faces will encourage me... Continue reading

She hasn't always been sure of love and the sentiments of Valentines. It seemed to her it was a made up holiday; one where you forced love upon unloving things. Hearts were repelling, as was the color pink. Romantic seemed to be a game in play acting. Until She loved herself. Now she sees what all the fuss was about. How it is to celebrate the heart and how it can break and still feel love. It seems the greatest part of her lives - from her heart. Perhaps being comfortable in her own love of self - allowed her... Continue reading