Thanks Joan for all your thoughts. You are right on! And, even articulated this clearer than I. It is a puzzle, but I hope one that will create a lesson and clarity soon. I too hope that November is the point where we can start to rebalance.

Thank you for your words and your wisdom and calm. We can each influence those we love by our examples. And, they may some day look back and see more clearly where they were off.

Wow, that is so true too Joan, where we were set up to fear the new experiences and to embrace being a beginner - and being okay to start not knowing - but willing to learn. This is another huge part of us not living life - fully and finding joy in new things. I hope you try something new this year!

Ann, I hear you. This is how we began to separate ourselves from what we love to do - and we had no choice, we were kids - following the rules. And, in a large family there was plenty to always do. I love the idea of doing what we love - first - and then doing what sorta needs to be done. I am getting much better at playing first. Good for us!

Thanks Ann. I understand that the post was full, but it was all swirling around in my head space and I needed to sort it out. There is a legacy we all are born with and nurtured into, and then we find out if it is part of us or something we can outgrow or cast aside. I know I come from a train of women and that more women will follow me - and I also know there are traits we pick up and unconsciously pass down. There are also character flaws or character tendencies that have failed those before us and we have to work to dispose of. And, more I want there to be a time in life where you can stand alone. Just be the Me - who has honed and shaped your life into one that brings you love, peace and joy. Where you understand your beginnings, but they no longer impact your world. Like you said, there is a lot in this blog and I too will be sitting with this for a long while. Thanks

Thanks Amy for your thoughts. I can see how unstructured time is a good thing. Yet you are filling it. Not just wanting to do nothing; but something with free time. Good for you. And good for letting go of perfection. I believe that idea has stolen way too many enjoyable lives. And, stopped many from trying new things or enjoying doing something "because it wasn't good enough'.

Thanks Judy, I do agree we strived for complete order - when chaos was much of what we had. And, then I guess we felt we would have order if everything was IN order. I appreciate your thoughts.

Joan, you would be a fun addition to our group! Any time you are in our area and WIND is on, come and join us! It has been a wonderful healing place - for Art and Nature do their part, and the friendships we have formed do the rest! I am glad our posts help others too. Maybe you can form. WIND group in Escanaba.

Ann, we do have fun and you are always welcome! I too feel shocked it has been so long! And, yet it feels like it was always a part of me. We do have a great bunch of women! See you soon!

Judy, what a fun group we are part of! I too feel so lucky to be part of it and how much fun, love and joy we have together! We sure have grown a lot in 8 years and will continue forward! Thanks for being a part of it and for being you!

We are about the same age then, when we allowed our natural hair color to just be. I suppose many go through this - for sure. And, it another inside correction that will happen, if I stay the course. And, I will get used to my new look - eventually. And, it is weird that many do change the outside to fix the inside. I can see that. My outside changed and yet I feel the same inside - I just see someone else in the mirror. This too shall pass. I will work to own my look as mine! Thanks Joan, for your words.

Dawn, I am happy your reflection brings you comfort. Truly, that is the way it is supposed to be. I was just talking to a friend about if there was a difference in the grief of losing someone you love and being estranged. Where one you carry with you comfort and love. There is missing, but I miss what I didn't have. And, you miss what you did. What is shocking/weird/hard is that she has not been in my mirror for many years and now is back. I am sure time and me getting used to my look, will lessen her there. And, we parted in such a trauma inducing way, it is a trigger of sorts. Just one of the hurdles in the life of the estranged. I just wanted to share, so others who may feel this, feel less alone.

Ann, you are on the caring souls. I know you helped many acquire a mask and donated to the places you frequent. It just seems so silly that so many are not even trying, and worse are organizing a big Forth of July Celebration. His comment on the news source, was that we needed to celebrate our country, especially now, with the way things are going. He doesn't even realize he is a big part of the problem that is causing the divide. I did hear about the nursing home where your Mom is. It is real and there are many there who may not be able to live through the symptoms. The virus moves as it does - and only we can change how we move and what we do, in order to give all a chance. Again, we each are choosing what side of history to be on. Thank you for being a caring soul.