On this Independence Day, most will celebrate Freedom - and I believe there are many who cannot see beyond their own choices; in religion and love, and I guess politics. They want to color the whole world so it reflects their own choices. Many never have practiced freedom and yet celebrate it like it is something they know intimately. I wasn't able to know freedom until I knew what not being free was. Freedom begins in the mind. With our thoughts and beliefs. For so many years I believed that others needed to change. Others needed to do things differently... Continue reading

"Do you like these kind of quilts?" I heard a woman say to her friend - as they gazed at a wall where my art hung. "No" she replied. And the first woman says, "Me neither, another thing we have in common." What they didn't know is that I was the artist, the woman who was just arranging things in the Gift Shop. They continued on browsing, visiting, commenting, and just being two women out and about. As they near the door where I was working, we struck up a conversation - just the usual customer chatter - and the... Continue reading

I stood up for a child. My child. My 4 children. I stood for my siblings. I stood for their kids. I stood for the little girl inside of me. I stood for children everywhere who have been waiting for someone to stand and object. For someone to see the monsters in their lives. For someone to hear their voices. For one ear and one eye show them they are not alone. I stood alone. I stood shaking I stood not knowing. I stood. What does this look like in reality? What does it take to put a child first?... Continue reading

How many people are aware of things they are wrong about? Most of us were not taught discernment or have the ability to change our minds/beliefs. I was raised in a black and white world. I was taught that 'our' church is the only church going to heaven. I was taught that everyone outside of the church was evil. I was programmed to see the world with a myopic lens. Very very narrow and completely and utterly wrong. It was embarrassing and mind blowing and brilliantly thrilling to see how wrong I was. I am not sure I can articulate... Continue reading

Yesterday I was part of Art Week in Marquette, and it was about demonstrating your art - and I misunderstood and yet I overachieved. I brought way way too much art compared to the other artists. We were a small group. It is a new part of Art Week. There even was a painting class going on. There were 4 trees and a lamppost that held the clothesline. The committee envisioned my art in trees along the harbor to bring attention to this space. I believe I achieved that. Folks came from the end of the harbor, saying they had... Continue reading

Being an artist is a weird thing. Selling what you play with seems often weirder. Now that I am retired, I was feeling like I had to become more 'serious' about being an artist. Like creating more, showing more, selling more, thinking more, doing more, being more.... I don't even know how to be an artist. I just know how to be me. And, it seems impossible to be serious in creating art. When the serious tones entered into my art - it felt heavy and a duty and responsible - kinda grown up feeling. Being a serious artist was... Continue reading

Today is also our 35th Wedding Anniversary. I don't even know where to begin or how to encapsulate our 35 years. The girl I was when we met is so far from who I am today, and yet my husband loved both of them. Marriage has changed for me in these past many years. Or how I see marriage differently. I think I thought in the early years that marriage came before us. That in order to have a good marriage, you focused on that. What I have come to learn is that the marriage is only as good as... Continue reading

Mother's Day could be women's day - a day where we celebrate the women in our lives that have enriched us, accepted us, honored us, empowered us, loved us, and encouraged us to be more of who we were born to be. A day to look back at all the wonderful kind loving women who have stepped in and gave us what we didn't get from our own mothers. I have had women who have shown me examples of what a loving means. Women who displayed boundaries. Women embraced truths Women who loved themselves deeply. Ladies who lived colorful expressive... Continue reading

I am reading about Belonging in Brene Brown's Book "Atlas of the Heart - Mapping Meaningful Connections." "We have to belong to ourselves as much as we need to belong to others. Any belonging that asks us to betray ourselves is not true belonging." "True belonging is the spiritual practice of believing in and belonging to yourself so deeply that you can share your most authentic self with the world and find sacredness in both being a part of something and standing alone in the wilderness. True belonging doesn't require you to change who you are; it requires you to... Continue reading

I have listened to this podcast a few times and appreciate hearing other families talk about how their personalities were formed in survival and how that impacts their lives when they are older. What I loved the most is how to stop shame. That in order to end the cloud of shame - normalizing is the fix. I have been talking about this - repeatedly to different folks in conversations. How IF everyone spoke about the 'imperfections' in their lives - we'd all feel more normal. We tend to hide things we feel 'ashamed' about. I had to look up... Continue reading

I looked back in my blog and the first time these Story Line Quilts were displayed was July 2012 at the Strawberry Festival Quilt show- almost 10 years ago. There is a difference in who I was back then, compared to who I am today. I was more vulnerable back then. My new life was just 7 years old. I had been processing, healing, dealing and feeling the truth of so much dysfunction - unraveling and dissecting and discovering - I was freshly exposed. I had been blogging for 3 years - yet that didn't feel as public as hanging... Continue reading

My quilts are rolled up and loaded into the car - their labels have been printed - they are all set to be put on display. I was chosen by the Peter White Library Arts Committee to show my art in their Huron Mountain Club Gallery on the first floor at the Library. They will be there until May 20th. April is Sexual Assault Awareness month, and I am honored to have my Art hanging during this month to help bring awareness. I am hopeful they will bring hope and inspiration to others who also have been victims of abuse.... Continue reading

So today began the task of writing labels for My Storyline quilts. I have misplaced my book - the one I had made in 2012 -however, I can go online and look at it. I have three different versions of what the quilt represents. The book is the oldest version and it is quite remarkable. I then have the words that hung with the quilts at Copper Country Mental Health. Then I found 3 pages with short descriptions of each quilt. Now, I am wondering if I do a fourth, or chose from all three, and have a combination with... Continue reading

I am reading "Atlas of the Heart" by Brené Brown. She writes "Our anxiety often leads to one of two coping mechanisms: worry or avoidance. Unfortunately, neither of these two coping strategies is very effective. Worry and anxiety go together, but worry is not an emotion; it's the thinking part of anxiety. Worry is described as a chain of negative thoughts about bad things that might happen in the future. What really got me about the worry research is that those of us with the tendency to worry believe it is helpful for coping (it is not), believe it is... Continue reading

Retirement or growing older, gives us the space to see ourselves and how we fit into our lives. If you are lucky, by the time you retire, you have grown into a self that your soul feels at rest in. What I am learning, is that there is a sweet spot - where you are not trying to do too much; but are not too lazy either. Yet I love my lazy hours too. I am into my second month of being retired. I luxuriate on the freedom of time. I do also feel though the anxiety of wasting it,... Continue reading

I think people think, that the hardest part of speaking up about sexual abuse is the speaking up. The harder part is not being believed. My voice and my words appear powerless, and the benefit of the doubt goes to the pedophile or person doing red flag behaviors, and even to the silent ones who know. And those who speak of it - somehow - are made to be the ones insane. Our character, motives, opinions etc are questioned - not why the others are silent or the actions of the abuser. My speaking up is worse than the actual... Continue reading

So, a few years back, prior to Covid, I was working with the Library Director at Peter White Public Library about having My Storyline quilts on display. We had to postpone a few times, but now we are ready to go ahead for April. She needed a few pictures of the quilts that will be on display. I thought of my Mis-Matched Mitten Tree ones and took them out on a snowshoe this morning. This is the first Mitten Tree - created in the Fall of 2010 The cloak of my truth weighed heavy on me. Yet I was pleased... Continue reading

Mothering is one of the few jobs we receive zero training for, and one that has the most impact on our family. There are so many ways we can get this wrong. Mothering carries our nature, our nurture and all of our wounds - our unexpressed emotions and our unmet emotional needs from childhood. Coming from a dysfunctional childhood, we are broken. Mothering from broken is a mess, I am not even sure I can articulate. Sadly I was 46 years old when I acknowledge my abuse. That what I called love - was not love. I didn't know who... Continue reading

I am in the final stretch heading into retirement. I survived my last crazy package season at the post office and now watch as the last few weeks quickly pass by. My final work day is January 24th - a Monday. That is not the best day to end my career with the post office, for Tuesdays and Wednesday are notoriously light mail days, but, it is the way it boiled down. This is a transition time, a moment in letting the old routine go, and then figuring out a new one. It will feel unstable at first - for... Continue reading