I just suddenly remember that I have a blog. How funny. I really don't have much to say at this stage of life. I've been feeling like shit for a couple of weeks. I know why exactly but I still won't be able to force myself to change the situation. I've been in stressed, denial, and trance for a long time. I've been bingeing and shutting myself down for weeks. I don't know how to talk to people about it because I don't want anyone's input in this situation. It's not helping a bit. I haven't talk to my best... Continue reading

AFracturedFacade, originally uploaded by mae jane. I know I'm fashionably late. My life is continuously being mess. Stepping into the new year won't change that. I just thought you should know. I'll have to force myself to tidy up this blog, my flickr, and my soon-dying external harddisk. Change is hard. But it's necessary. I'm counting days till my sampling procedure in mid-Feb. Pray for me. Continue reading

I don't think it will bother me but it does. I'm at a dead-end job. There. I said it. Before I started working, my folks kept telling me that just apply a job and try. See how I like it. I can always quit and do something else. But it's bullshit. Because once I got a job, they ask me to apply professional examinations to get a qualification to teach. Dude, I don't know if I like teaching and I kinda swear off teaching since I was 10. My current job don't have any prospective. You can see they treat... Continue reading

It hit me, especially this week, that I'm so unobservant. I'm oblivious and don't know how to read other people's expression. I did made an effort to memorize things about others, but it's always in segments. My best friend got married 2 days ago. I didn't even know that they're been together for almost a decade until people told me. How fuck up is that? This lack of awareness in people's feeling and business got me into so much trouble before. People think I'm selfish and inconsiderate. The truth is, I don't know how to read people's faces. I can't... Continue reading

Ladies and gentlemen, I've finally caved to the Apple kingdom. Hahaha. Seriously I've been dreaming about owning a Mac for such a long time. It felt so unreal when I'm touching and using it now. I'll be updating more often now that I can work anywhere I need to. I've been AWOL for a really long time here. Paying this space without really utilizing it. School started a month ago. I don't have a summer holiday due to the nature of my post. But I did work leisurely for a good amount of time before welcoming the new school year... Continue reading

Cheers was sitting right in front of me playing beautiful music. This is not a good title for this post but I really don't know how to name it anymore. So the story start at me going to a regular gyno appointment. I was so tired that day so I just go there like a zombie and figured that it's just any other appointment - pick up new meds. The doctor looked serious and asked me to sit down. You know, with the whole here's-the-bad-news look. She told me that it's been a year since I last tested and my... Continue reading

Trying out my Friend's iPad. Confusing but nice. Kinda wanna get it more than iPhone to be honest. Just 4000+. Really nice. Continue reading

It's been a long while. I'm using my sis's new iPhone 4 and it's awesome. I can't type well with my fat fingers and I prefer typing with my google phone. I was mentally not okay for quite a while now. Apart from the fact that I can't have a break and still slaving away when most people go on vacations, I can't stop getting frustrated with my life. I change my plan again and again. I made this impossible dream to go for that seems to bond for failure. I can't even force myself to work hard. I'm struggling... Continue reading

Happy Birthday, originally uploaded by Esther Aarts. I know it's lamo that I write a list of stuff I... Continue reading

Happy Birthday, originally uploaded by Esther Aarts. I know it's lamo that I write a list of stuff I... Continue reading

I'm dying to do something creative. I didn't even watch through the whole Suziblu video and I paid and register for it. Hopefully I can stick to it, dig out my old art supplies and start working on it as soon as I receive the sketchbook. Continue reading

We are the only person who can determine our own destiny. ~ Mayday Continue reading

A real QWERTY lover, originally uploaded by angex. Taking good care of yourself should be top priority. Period. Continue reading

I"ve been AWOL here for months (months?!) and since I'm so damn sleepy at work, I might as well start writing again. My life has been insanely busy. Our school just got reviewed. They asked me to print out and file all school documents of last and this year. But they only give me 1.5 weeks to do so. The idea was to print out everything on the server and then file them under different titles. And then BY THE WAY, check to see if all the documents are in the server and inform people-in-charge to collect those missing documents.... Continue reading

A real QWERTY lover, originally uploaded by angex. Taking good care of yourself should be top priority. Period. Continue reading

This week was quite difficult for me. I can't get my lazy ass to the gym. I was binging after work. I was really upset and sad about something. But yet I still lost half a pound (currently at 232.2 lb). It all began with me not getting enough sleep. I was being childish and let myself go to bed after midnight. Sounds early, no? NO!! Coz I have to wake up at 6.30am. Getting 6 hours of sleep when I have to work around 10 hours a day is crazy. It affects everything. I planned to go to the... Continue reading

dream, originally uploaded by .naa.. Exam Period. No fucking detention. I was the floater was I can sit and read books all I want. 10 degrees C weather. This is probably the first time to have 10 degrees in this winter. I love cold weather. Makes me happy and positive. Finalizing my new year resolution and goals. Crying all I want. Indulging all I want. Swearing all I want. Laughing all I want. obsessing all I want. That's my new goal this year. Be true to my own feelings. That's the stairway to a positive and healthy life. Start reading... Continue reading

Love is like oxygen, originally uploaded by Laura Serra. It's been a while since I post anything remotely recent. Dude, I need a break from all the hardworking and planning. I've been working really hard this past year. I've accomplished a few big goals. When I was happily writing up my 2009 review, I felt weary thinking that there's another year ahead of me. I'm dying for a break. But the thing is, last time I took on a break, it lasted a year and half. So I can't freaking let myself slack off, especially in 2010. Another reason why... Continue reading

I'm doing a review of 2009 soon. But I'm thinking I should just do a series of pictures of myself before my weight-loss process. Very narcissistic of me. Enjoy. Ok, the more I think of this, the more I want to post big fat ugly picture of myself. It's digusting I know. But that's is who I am. I have to fully accept the fact that I look like that before I can move on with my life. So hopefully you won't be gross out by my lovely performance here. On a side note, I'm not fully impressed by the... Continue reading

Happy New Year!, originally uploaded by ~aspidistra~ 2009 is a magical year. I accomplished so much ... Continue reading

From Romance by Chris Craymer I’ve been in this funky mood for days. I know why and what happened. I just don’t know how to shake it off. I’m thinking maybe I should write about it in my blog. But at the same time I can’t write too clearly. Or else it’ll ruin anything good in my life. So I’ve been feeling particularly lonely these days. I’ve been feeling like that since I started my job. Surrounding by so many people makes me feel exceptionally lonely. I think a lot of people feel this way too, and we never seem... Continue reading

(The hand of my sister and her beautiful Macbook Pro. With my Iced Americano.) (My phone chain for my camera. It's a souvenir from Mayday.) I’m not very happy with the fact that I can’t handle students at all. I really wanna quit my job just because of that. I got really frustrated and angry that I’ve forgotten to take good care of myself. I’m depressed, angry, exhausted, pissed, upset and I turned to food. I craved for fatty, satisfying food when I feel like shit. I’m a mess this week. I didn’t sleep merely enough. I didn’t drink enough... Continue reading

, originally uploaded by 有喵的生活. It’s a month since I started my very first full-time job. I’ve been ... Continue reading