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Kathryne Neches
Montecito, California
A die-hard girly-girl, still strutting in her stilettos, while juggling the good life, surrounded by kids, dogs and a good natured husband.
Interests: Seeing the sunrise over the oaks, morning coffee, laughing, walking on the beach, girlfriends, tacos, writing, new shoes, Christmas, reading poetry, quiet time with my husband, shopping with my daughters and grand daughters, taking the grandkids to museums and musicals, high tea and naps.
Recent Activity
“We do not live in what we think. We live in what we love.” Eknath Easwarn What a concept! Let me look around and see what it is I am living in and living for. Just this moment, I can say, I live in the beauty and symmetry of nature, of the sky in all its verities, of the trees in every season, as well as the seasons of my loved ones. My grandchildren are visiting for a part of the summer. Two, whose births I witnessed, who are now ten and twelve. They were adorable, loveable babies, and now... Continue reading
“In the ordinary choices of every day, we begin to change our lives.” Eknath Easwarn A few weeks ago, I was going to meet a friend for lunch in the lower village of Montecito. I parked a little way up the street, in front of an art gallery. I was a bit early, so I paused to admire the paintings in the window of the gallery. Off to the right in a corner there was a little sign that said “painting lessons. All levels, beginners welcome.” I tried to push open the door, but it was locked. Just then a... Continue reading
“There is no end to things in the heart.” Li Po I was sitting with my morning pages today and marveling at how my love is scattered around the globe. There are people and places I care about, everywhere. Some of these are deep, long friendships and some are merely people who have touched me as they have passed quickly through my life. There are even some, I have never met. Still, the love remains. I remember being on safari in Botswana. It was sunset and we stopped near the rivers bank to watch the hippos and see the majesty... Continue reading
December is MY month. It is the month in which I was born and the month in which a part of me died. It is the month in which I started over as a sober woman. Oh, sure, I share my month with some others. Three grandkids, a festival of lights and the Christ Child, to name a few, but I have always believed the lights and the sparkle; the peace and good- will, were for me. Is this a bad thing? I do not think so. I am grateful to celebrate so much in December. December is a time... Continue reading
Most mornings, I take pictures of the sky. This may seem an odd ritual for connecting with the world but it works for me. I arise before dawn to have my quiet time. I sit alone in the dark and watch the day begin. I cherish this time. It is mine alone, but not really. There are others, friends and family, scattered around the globe, which see my sky, and say hello. This connection fills me with warmth. Just now, I stood outside for the third time this morning and stretched up my arms and said “Good Morning World! I... Continue reading
It is still surprising to me how the currents of life take me on a path I might never have intended and how little choice I have but to surrender and go with the flow. Such has been the past few days. The river of life has carved a new swath. Yes, there has been a devastating hurricane, Sandy on the east coast of the United States and millions of people are affected. A few days before the hurricane hit New Jersey, there was apparently an earthquake in Canada and another in Arkansas. Our Presidential election is days away and... Continue reading
This morning I awakened with a stiff, sore neck. I wish I could report that it happened as a result of my sleeping with my head on my hunky husband’s shoulder, but it did not. My neck, along with my feet, is reminding me that I am aging. My feet creek and hurt as soon as I step foot on the carpet each morning. I suspect that all of my aches and pains are a result of too much sitting on my bottom. I think I will go stretch for a few minutes. Be right back. Oh dear!! When did... Continue reading
Last night I dreamed about my fingernails. Not the ones at the end of my fingers today, but the ones I used to have. They were perfectly polished, wrapped in silk and strong enough to open a paint can, but they looked pretty and feminine. Not the nails of today’s reality. Several months ago I cut my nails down to the quick. I think of my fingernail-dream as symbolic of my state of being these days. I am stripped bare, lightly polished, ridged, sometimes jagged and tender in places that used to be protected by pretending. God only knows what... Continue reading
A few days ago my cup ran dry. This does not happen very often because I have always been and still am, a girl who is always saying “fill-her-up!” When I was drinking I had no idea how much I drank because my cup was never empty. I am the same way with coffee or water bottles or coconut water these days. Still, on Monday, I awakened with an empty cup. I didn’t know at first that that was the case. I just knew I was grumpy, short-fused, and irritated by the antics of my husband, who I frequently, if... Continue reading
Every day now, I miss ice cream. I miss her frozen velvet touch upon my tongue. I miss her sweet orgasmic play. I miss our “alone-time.” With TV as our serenade. Every day now, I miss ice cream. I miss her comfort. I miss her promises. I miss her grand arrival, Riding in her silver-slipper-sled, Up, to meet my lips. I miss her cry to me For MORE. Still, Every day now, I do NOT miss ice cream. I do not miss her after-taste, coating my tongue, Bloating my stomach. I do not miss her broken promise of ecstasy, Lasting.... Continue reading
“Slow-briety.” That’s what I have. The kind where growing up and acting like an adult is something I have had to practice for a very long time. Most days I am pretty good at “acting-as-if” I am a grown up. Occasionally, I slip and fall way short of the goal. This past week was very slippery for me. I was oh, so busy “helping!” Sometimes people ask for my help. When they do I am usually happy to share my experience, strength and hope, my observations and the solutions that I've used that have and have not worked for me.... Continue reading
Someone I know, knows she is dying this summer. Maybe in June, maybe in July, probably not in September. What does it feel like to have a date, a general idea for when you are going to die? It seems like scheduling a C-section or planning to have ones labor induced. With a pregnancy we generally know that birth will occur in nine months. This is not always so with this other metamorphosis, this passing from one known form of life to one which is unknown. Not everyone believes he or she will continue BE after death. Fortunately, I do,... Continue reading
I have been working at marriage for nearly fifty years, but not with the same husband. Apparently some part of me knew it would take a lifetime, so I got started early, before my eighteenth birthday and changed around a bit so as not to get bored. I have not been very good at marriage until the past four or five years. Some of us are slow to take direction. In my first marriage I was playing “house.” After all, I was only a few short years away from playing with my sister’s Easy Bake Oven and my Jenny doll.... Continue reading
Nest I live in a tree house, Eye to eye with finches and doves. An occasional yellow oriole. The trees are my fans, Waving and bowing to every move I make. The clouds and the mountains Are my decorations, Plumped up like pillows Against the rugged, granite, mountain, lounges. The sun and the moon are lighting, Brightening my mornings and Lulling me to sleep in the night. Stars light the walkways to my dreams. In the spring my tree house comes alive All green and fresh. Smelling of promise. Alive with bees. In the summer she shades me and Gives... Continue reading
“I want to talk to you about our plans for the rest of our lives.” This from my husband while I was brushing my teeth on Friday morning. Okay, I said. Personally, I don’t think too much about plans for the rest of my life. I think about what I have and have not done with my life so far, I think about how I want to redecorate the house, I think about the next grandkid’s birthday or graduation, I think about who might be coming to visit or when I can go to visit someone, I think about my... Continue reading
Sorry about the lack of paragraph spacing. I put them in but my iPad deleted them. Could it be I don't know what I'm doing?
What exactly is coincidence? I have heard it described as a miracle in which God wishes to remain anonymous. For today I am leaning toward this theory. Yesterday, having spent two beautiful days and nights enjoying the neighborhoods of inner Venice, and having picked up just a few treasures to take home with us later, we boarded the Seabourn Quest for our trip through the Baltic. After being escorted to our veranda suite, unpacking and completing our safety drill, I left Tom to view the sail- away while I found the spa to get my hair washed and blown out... Continue reading
"I am holding." This is what was going through my mind yesterday, whileI was face down on Mr. Lu's massage chair, spending the hour between my hair and nail appointments. There must be so much old energy, feelings, pain, regret, sadness I am holding in my body for this to hurt so much. It seems incongruous to be able to meditate while in the throws of excruciating pain but that is what I found myself doing. I played the mantrum over and over in my head, thinking of Jesus on the cross and invoking his name, as well as that... Continue reading
On Saturday I had my Tarot Cards read by a blue-eyed fairy. (Seriously, I’m pretty sure she was not of this world, even though she lives in my town and is in my greater circle of friends and acquaintances.) I sat down in Sparky, which is a little airstream trailer, and faced this fairy a foot and a half away from me as she peered into my eyes and asked the question; “What brings you?” I don’t know. Duh! I just thought it would be fun. “Well you must have a question.” She pushed with her giant fairy eyes. “Okay,”... Continue reading
Last week, I wrote about the candlelight vigil that was held for a girl named Samantha. Though I had never met her, I felt drawn to pray for her, believing that she could well have been my own daughter or granddaughter. Sam attempted suicide while away attending college as an athlete scholar. Sunday night while driving home from the birthday party of another young friend, we were notified that Samantha had died. The last several days have felt heavy as I, and so many of our small community struggles to make sense of this senseless act of despair. Suicide is... Continue reading
Last night I attended a candlelight vigil at the Mission, where prayers were sent up and tears shed for a young woman I have never met. She is a volleyball player and a twin, away at college with her sister, suffering the pains of growing up which are made more acute when mirrored by her twin. I was never more aware of what I am coming to see as Truth, that we are not separate, but entirely one. One heart, one love, one suffering. There is no them. It is all we. My daughter called to tell me about this... Continue reading
“Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of life’s longing for itself. Though they come through you, they come not from you, for they dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, even in your dreams.” Kahill Gibran Well, there it is. And yet I keep trying to visit, unpack and set out my things, my ideals, my visions, and my best intentions, around the rooms that are THEIR lives. Hello!! Not wanted, not needed, none of my beeswax!!!! (Like I’ve done such a swell job with my own life!) Some of us... Continue reading
Yesterday I held a dying bird. At least I thought she was dying. I nearly stepped on the little thing as I walked to my car on the way to the gym. I thought it was a leaf and lifted my foot to kick it out of the way. When I focused my eyes, I saw that she was a baby humming bird, iridescent green with her wings spread out as if to take flight. I touched her and she lifted her tail feathers, but she didn’t move. Tom was out walking the dogs and was due back soon, so... Continue reading
I wonder exactly what characteristics denote glamour. If it is high heels, I’m okay. If it’s smoky, lined eyes and a decent haircut I can pass. If it is long fingernails I’m in trouble. I have cut my fingernails down to the quick. After forty or more years of spending hours every couple of weeks to get them wrapped in silk and painted prettily, I’ve surrendered this badge of glamour. I no longer care. Well, I care, but not enough to give up the time to sit there. I would rather do other things. Most any other things. For instance,... Continue reading
Today is the day designated for the celebration of love. My husband hates this day, not that he hates love, but he is a true romantic. He loathes being told by Hallmark when to express his love and how. I understand. It’s the kind of day where if you send something to your love, you feel like you’re a sucker who has been duped and if you don’t, well then you’re just a jerk. There is no way to come out on Valentines’ day without getting screwed one way or another. That is, if you are a man. For women,... Continue reading