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Look out!!! Turn the fucking wheel! (screams…Suburban hits something big…almost enough to stop the behemoth vehicle…series of thuds) QOS says KEEP DRIVING! UD says I think we ran over something or someone! “We can’t just keep driving if it was….SOMEONE, we’re mommy bloggers (among other things) and how would that look to our followers? They might think we’re REALLY mean. QOS-who’s gonna know?! Wonder if we DID run over some backwoods freak right now, I ‘m not getting stabbed to death, besides I’ve had enough pain (albeit good pain) today with those fucking needles at the House of Pain tat shop!” UD fumbles for flask in the storage compartment, takes a swig and says “I’m turning around.” “The fuck you are! No you’re not! Keep driving! I am not going back there, I am sure there are some signs ahead that will lead us the hell out of here, IF YOU WOULD JUST KEEP DRIVING!” UD slams on the brakes as they screech to a dead stop. The radio blares Nancy Sinatra These Boots are Made For Walkin’, silence outside the car except for the sound of the engine idling. UD puts the car in park and stares into the darkness. She looks over at QoS. “I will slap that fresh new tat if you turn this Suburban around!” “Let’s just get out and see if there is any blood on the car.” “If there’s not, I promise you, I’ll keep driving.” “Dammit UD! If there’s not, we’ll get back in the car and go home, right? “Yup.” The girls get out of the car and tentatively survey the vehicle. A dark purplish, sticky substance is splattered on the hood and both sides of the Suburban. “It looks like blood! What is it? Touch it.” “No, you touch it.” “I think it’s blood. Oh nooooooooooooo, I think we’ve killed someone.” “WE, you were the one driving!” “Whatever! We have to go back! Get in the car.” UD and QoS get back into the car throw the car in reverse and turn around headed for, what, they did not know. They both begin to sob uncontrollably and QoS pulls out the flask downs ½ of it and hands it to UD. UD finishes it off pulls out a wipe from the center console that she keeps for the kids when their hands are all sticky after eating Honey Nut Cheerios and wipes her face and neck. She offers one to QoS, she pushes them away, she prefers unscented for sensitive skin. They drive on in silence. “Hello?” “Hello?” Startled by the voice coming from inside the car, the girls look at the dash to see that the Onstar light is blinking. Terrified, relieved, frantically the girls respond. “Hello, ONSTAR operator, we’ve been in an accident and we don’t know where we are!” “Help us!!!” Silence. “Are you there, are you there, help us!” “I saw what you did” said a voice from the speaker in the dash. “What?” “….I saw what you did.” “What the fuck…who is this?” “I saw what you did this summer night.” “QoS, this is NOT the ONSTAR operator” “Ya think!” “What the fuck are we going to do now?!” (screams) QoS picks up the SIGG water bottle (swiss made-no bad plastic for the kids) and bashes in the dash where the Onstar light mockingly blinks at them. The light stops blinking and there is no more sound. UD speeds up the Suburban sailing down the mountain road as fast as it will go. “I’m not going to stop.” “Even if there is something or someone there, I’m gonna just keep going as fast as I fuckin’ can.” “Don’t stop, it’ll be alright, just keep going, this didn’t happen, noone saw us, just keep going.” ATV with a man is sitting in the road. (screams, squealing brakes) The Suburban spins out and stops at the side of the road in the dirt, dust flies everywhere, the girls are thrown forward, the airbags deploy and sock them in the face. There is a knock at UD’s window. A little man with a cowboy hat is knocking at the window asking if the girls are alright. After a few seconds the girls are startled to see that there is a man at the window. “Are you ladies OK?” “We’re OK, we think” “Why were you driving so fast senoritas?” “You could kill someone” The girls looked over to the middle of the road and saw a giant puddle of the same viscous, dark, purplish substance that they had seen on the Suburban. The man said “I am sorry to have startled you but some asshole in a Suburban crashed into my vat of grapes earlier and I am trying to get it cleaned up” “Your what of what?” “My vat of grapes. I was on my way back to the winery pulling the grapes on my ATV when my headlight went out, it is very dark out here and I don’t think anyone could see me.” “The neighbor’s cow was with me, it got out and I was leading it back to the barn. Poor SOB got killed by the Suburban.” “I had to haul him off the road and back to the neighbor, Freddy. Mr. Krueger was not very happy and he is not the forgiving type. I feel sorry for whoever did this to his cow, Jason. He loved that cow.” “Anyway, can I call someone for you ladies, I have a satellite phone with me. “Uh, no thanks and thank you for checking on us we have to be on our way, gotta go, bye!” And quickly into the Suburban the girls went. UD started up the car and jammed it into Drive! They didn’t say a word the whole way home. Days later at soccer practice while UD was tweeting with QoS she got a call and at that same moment QoS got a call…. The voice on the other end said….”I know what you did and I’m coming to get you in your dreams!”