This is Tova's Typepad Profile.
Join Typepad and start following Tova's activity
Tova
Florida
Expert author of "poems of death in under 3 minutes"
Recent Activity
I really want to know if our kitty is a Maine Coone, or a mix. I wonder if you can help?
He has been posted before, Munch. He was found in the woods at a week old. If you get this message, please email me or you can check once when he was posted, but it does not show his size. He's not as HUGE as your cats, but has layers of fur, especially the snowshoes tufts on the feet and we live in south florida!! http://www.cutewithchris.com/2009/03/i-want-to-be-alone.html
I am at serendipity0468@aol.com
Thanks, Carm!
Tova
March 1.
"Pride". Lion, Lamb, etc. Sent by Carm in BUFFALO.
G*dammit now I want f&*cking DORITOS!!
Dreams.
Nick from CALIFORNIA writes: "...Hi Chris: My name is Nick and I met you after one of your CWC shows in LA. I hope you are doing well and sales of your stories are topping whatever charts you wish. I've got a bit of a problem and I think it may interest you. Me and my peeps made a Super Bo...
I am SOOO contacting PETA!! ;-)
Twenty Ten
Debbie from MICHIGAN writes: "...I'm not sure if you remember, but last year I ripped of one of your CWC viewers, and stole his idea for his sisters Chihuahua calendar, and used them for my own. Unlike some of your viewer, with their "sad" stories of deceased pets, here is my 2010 Calendar o...
So that one actually made me laugh out loud!!
The Holy Spirit
"Lola". The glory. Sent by Jill in FLORIDA.
Yeah! Now that's what I like to see, some good old-fashioned lizard humiliation!!
Great costumes!! :-D
Teach Your Children Well.
Katie from WISCONSIN writes: "Hi Chris ...These are my bearded dragons. Peaches (the angel) and Ricco (the devil)."
I LOOOOVE those hands!! Would love to know where to get them...
Yesss my Lord.
Scott writes: "..and now, my cat Gloria."
I'm not feeling bummed about no lasers, I am pissed that I had to click to enlarge!! Isn't it enough I have to click on the web site and click to comment? Jeez! What are we, Amish??!!
Zombie Dog
Lor in PENNSYLVANIA writes: "Chris, this zombie dog came to my door for Halloween." CLICK TO ENLARGE.
Didn't post when first I saw this, but wanted to add... Love this. Thanks for sharing! I even showed it to my kids because they wouldn't eat their broccoli... (JUST kidding... I showed them just to scare the shit out of them).
It never ends.
Wendy from ONTARIO writes: "...Hi Chris, Don't these kitty paws look like some zombie breaking his way up through the earth from his grave? I've attached a comparison I did, so you can see what I mean."
Good stuff
CCL O' Ween
Paula in SF writes: "...Saw this Halloween costume in the San Francisco Chronicle."
Agree you should be able to find a trap, spay, release program near you. They come and trap the cats, they will get a rabies shot, and they return them so long as someone says they are feeding them.
Obviously, if you build a town for them, you are willing to throw down some Meow Mix!!
Seriously, you will still have plenty of cats for cat town (Catopia?). But spay, man. It's messed up not to.
Cat Town
Jayme from MICHIGAN writes: "...Hi Chris! I can't believe it's taken me this long to send pictures of cat town! My husband Joe has a scrap yard on the edge of Detroit, and the guy who has a place across the street has been constructing a little town for the multitudes of stray cats that live...
Of course they are bunnies... The snake has to eat SOMETHING, doesn't it??
Men with Pets
Tihomir from CROATIA writes: "...Hi, Chris! This is a first time that I sending you something... And in this picture is me with my Boa constrictor - Darla. Be, bye from Croatia...Tihomir."
Sometimes it just happens...
Inspired by a recent story about a snake who ate a child... Another "Poem of Death" in under 3 minutes by Tova...
Striking pattern draws you in
Pet owners lose, boas win
Boa…
Look like worms, when they’re small
Grow to be, very tall…
Boa...
What's in the yard, out in the fog?
Oh, just my snake – eating my dog
Boa…
Squeeze their prey, until it’s dead
When you’re asleep, they’ll squeeze your head…
Boa...
Thank you. I'll be here all week.
Men with Pets
Tihomir from CROATIA writes: "...Hi, Chris! This is a first time that I sending you something... And in this picture is me with my Boa constrictor - Darla. Be, bye from Croatia...Tihomir."
Now that's one for "America's Got Talent"!
Skills
"Moxie". Bear Rug Impersonator. Sent by Diana in OKLAHOMA.
... theirs is a blood lust so wretched, so vile that it cannot be comprehended by ordinary man.
Kill All Humans.
Rhianna in VANCOUVER writes: "...I took my nephew to the Maplewood Farms in North Vancouver and my nephew was eaten by goats. Damn you gooooooats!"
You may not realize this, but goats not only eat children but will also attempt to eat pregnant women - or any developing species, really.
The reason behind the macabre behavior is that the soft tissues of any young, developing body are absorbed by the goats and used to enhance their incredible paranormal abilities, thus allowing them to transport themselves to alternate universes AND set fire to entire gymnasiums if pig blood happens to be poured upon them.
True story.
Kill All Humans.
Rhianna in VANCOUVER writes: "...I took my nephew to the Maplewood Farms in North Vancouver and my nephew was eaten by goats. Damn you gooooooats!"
That is so cool! She's gorgeous!!
Men with Pets.
Lance from NEW YORK writes: "... My Husky mix Daytona has the craziest eyes ever. Instead of being Bi-Eyed... one brown eye and one blue eye... She has one brown eye on the right and her left eye is one-third brown at the top and two-thirds blue at the bottom."
Cats are so freaking weird.
The Introvert.
"Sweetie". One of those days. Sent by Katrina in AUSTRALIA.
Yeah, I know him. He's part bear.
How Did He Turn Out?
Amanda from OREGON writes: "...Dear Chris: I have this lovely "How He Turned Out" for you. You once posted my older brother Garrett, this is my younger brother Kevin. He was a tiny little guy who turned out, well, big. He caught this salmon bare handed. Just reached into the river and pulled i...
Zoos make animals cry.
Uppa Yo Face
Paolo 25teen writes: " These is picture taken by small town near my home in TUSCANY, She is Tamara is a 35 years old rheumatisms sufferer she-elephant."
So what about people who didn't own pets at the time the photos were taken, did they just rent one from their neighbor? Do you think they were shunned? They must have felt extremely left out, at the very least. What if they were allergic and couldn't hold an animal? Do you think they've been working it out in therapy since high school? Do you think Ronald Regan was a good actor? Do you like rice?
Men with Pets
Cathy from QUEBEC writes: "...Hi Chris, I was creeping my friends facebook when I came across his old Grade 12 Grad Photos, apparently, the entire school was told to bring their pets to school and take a photo. I can't find any of the other picture, but this is Ron and his dog Bo. Please don't...
The kitty aht I understand, what I don't get is - what the heck is a boot fare?
This Week in Cat Aht
Thea in the UK writes: "...Dear Chris: Thought you might like the Kitten Aht my mum bought at a boot fare. Thea 14teen."
Jean - the cat in the pan on the stove was the one who inspired my last "poem of death", Chinese Take OUt...
http://www.cutewithchris.com/2009/08/what-you-sick-people-come-here-for.html
NRA.
Shannon writes: "...I currently live in BRUSSELS. This was in the store window."
@ Jean,
there are other "poems of death created in under 3 minutes" in comments from other posted photos, just not that many. I have to be inspired. Girls with rats during the end of the full on hairless rat wars?
Inspiring.
THIS? Totally, totally inspiring!
NRA.
Shannon writes: "...I currently live in BRUSSELS. This was in the store window."
I totally feel a "poem of death created in under 3 minutes by Tova" coming on...
This one is called...
"HUNTING ALICE"
Through the looking glass, he did spy
Intended target, she must die…
Hunting Alice
Basket of eggs? Think again
A bullet to the ass, or maybe 10…
Hunting Alice
Grown too large to leave my home?
I've got you now, no place to roam…
Hunting Alice
I serve my king, and Queen of Hearts,
I’ll serve you, too – the tasty parts…
Hunting Alice
.
NRA.
Shannon writes: "...I currently live in BRUSSELS. This was in the store window."
I live in Florida where gators are plentiful & any leisurely stroll by the water must be done in running cleats.. I have heard alligators being referred to as many things... dog-eaters, devourers of small children, "lunch" ...
But never "adorable" ...
Superstar.
Liz from NC writes: "...Have you met Bob, the alligator born without a tail, yet? He lives at a great little zoo called Alligator Adventure in North Myrtle Beach, SC. I didn't get it on camera, but when he climbed into the little pond in his enclosure, he actually plopped in. Not very grace...
More...
Subscribe to Tova’s Recent Activity