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Expert author of "poems of death in under 3 minutes"
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I really want to know if our kitty is a Maine Coone, or a mix. I wonder if you can help? He has been posted before, Munch. He was found in the woods at a week old. If you get this message, please email me or you can check once when he was posted, but it does not show his size. He's not as HUGE as your cats, but has layers of fur, especially the snowshoes tufts on the feet and we live in south florida!! I am at Thanks, Carm! Tova
Toggle Commented Mar 2, 2010 on March 1. at chris leavins
G*dammit now I want f&*cking DORITOS!!
Toggle Commented Jan 10, 2010 on Dreams. at chris leavins
I am SOOO contacting PETA!! ;-)
Toggle Commented Jan 4, 2010 on Twenty Ten at chris leavins
So that one actually made me laugh out loud!!
Toggle Commented Dec 28, 2009 on The Holy Spirit at chris leavins
Yeah! Now that's what I like to see, some good old-fashioned lizard humiliation!! Great costumes!! :-D
Toggle Commented Dec 15, 2009 on Teach Your Children Well. at chris leavins
I LOOOOVE those hands!! Would love to know where to get them...
Toggle Commented Nov 3, 2009 on Yesss my Lord. at chris leavins
I'm not feeling bummed about no lasers, I am pissed that I had to click to enlarge!! Isn't it enough I have to click on the web site and click to comment? Jeez! What are we, Amish??!!
Toggle Commented Nov 3, 2009 on Zombie Dog at chris leavins
Didn't post when first I saw this, but wanted to add... Love this. Thanks for sharing! I even showed it to my kids because they wouldn't eat their broccoli... (JUST kidding... I showed them just to scare the shit out of them).
Toggle Commented Nov 3, 2009 on It never ends. at chris leavins
Good stuff
Toggle Commented Nov 3, 2009 on CCL O' Ween at chris leavins
Agree you should be able to find a trap, spay, release program near you. They come and trap the cats, they will get a rabies shot, and they return them so long as someone says they are feeding them. Obviously, if you build a town for them, you are willing to throw down some Meow Mix!! Seriously, you will still have plenty of cats for cat town (Catopia?). But spay, man. It's messed up not to.
Toggle Commented Oct 20, 2009 on Cat Town at chris leavins
Of course they are bunnies... The snake has to eat SOMETHING, doesn't it??
Toggle Commented Oct 9, 2009 on Men with Pets at chris leavins
Sometimes it just happens... Inspired by a recent story about a snake who ate a child... Another "Poem of Death" in under 3 minutes by Tova... Striking pattern draws you in Pet owners lose, boas win Boa… Look like worms, when they’re small Grow to be, very tall… Boa... What's in the yard, out in the fog? Oh, just my snake – eating my dog Boa… Squeeze their prey, until it’s dead When you’re asleep, they’ll squeeze your head… Boa... Thank you. I'll be here all week.
Toggle Commented Oct 9, 2009 on Men with Pets at chris leavins
Now that's one for "America's Got Talent"!
Toggle Commented Oct 9, 2009 on Skills at chris leavins
... theirs is a blood lust so wretched, so vile that it cannot be comprehended by ordinary man.
Toggle Commented Sep 30, 2009 on Kill All Humans. at chris leavins
You may not realize this, but goats not only eat children but will also attempt to eat pregnant women - or any developing species, really. The reason behind the macabre behavior is that the soft tissues of any young, developing body are absorbed by the goats and used to enhance their incredible paranormal abilities, thus allowing them to transport themselves to alternate universes AND set fire to entire gymnasiums if pig blood happens to be poured upon them. True story.
Toggle Commented Sep 30, 2009 on Kill All Humans. at chris leavins
That is so cool! She's gorgeous!!
Toggle Commented Sep 24, 2009 on Men with Pets. at chris leavins
Cats are so freaking weird.
Toggle Commented Sep 23, 2009 on The Introvert. at chris leavins
Yeah, I know him. He's part bear.
Toggle Commented Sep 23, 2009 on How Did He Turn Out? at chris leavins
Zoos make animals cry.
Toggle Commented Sep 23, 2009 on Uppa Yo Face at chris leavins
So what about people who didn't own pets at the time the photos were taken, did they just rent one from their neighbor? Do you think they were shunned? They must have felt extremely left out, at the very least. What if they were allergic and couldn't hold an animal? Do you think they've been working it out in therapy since high school? Do you think Ronald Regan was a good actor? Do you like rice?
Toggle Commented Sep 23, 2009 on Men with Pets at chris leavins
The kitty aht I understand, what I don't get is - what the heck is a boot fare?
Toggle Commented Sep 22, 2009 on This Week in Cat Aht at chris leavins
Jean - the cat in the pan on the stove was the one who inspired my last "poem of death", Chinese Take OUt...
Toggle Commented Sep 21, 2009 on NRA. at chris leavins
@ Jean, there are other "poems of death created in under 3 minutes" in comments from other posted photos, just not that many. I have to be inspired. Girls with rats during the end of the full on hairless rat wars? Inspiring. THIS? Totally, totally inspiring!
Toggle Commented Sep 21, 2009 on NRA. at chris leavins
I totally feel a "poem of death created in under 3 minutes by Tova" coming on... This one is called... "HUNTING ALICE" Through the looking glass, he did spy Intended target, she must die… Hunting Alice Basket of eggs? Think again A bullet to the ass, or maybe 10… Hunting Alice Grown too large to leave my home? I've got you now, no place to roam… Hunting Alice I serve my king, and Queen of Hearts, I’ll serve you, too – the tasty parts… Hunting Alice .
Toggle Commented Sep 21, 2009 on NRA. at chris leavins
I live in Florida where gators are plentiful & any leisurely stroll by the water must be done in running cleats.. I have heard alligators being referred to as many things... dog-eaters, devourers of small children, "lunch" ... But never "adorable" ...
Toggle Commented Sep 16, 2009 on Superstar. at chris leavins