Um, Paula, I believe you mean the [insert air horn noise]-ing button.

You must tweet. I've looked for you a hundred time on Twitter. I'll admit, I was sure you were on it under a laughable name that only the publishing elite were privy to. Believe me, you are sorely needed in the tweetoshphere. There is a painful shortage of funny (not trying to be funny, mind you).

I woke up thinking, "It's a Poelle blog day." Sad but true. For the love of Bieber fever, how do you think of this stuff?

When an agent announces she is closed to queries for the rest of the summer, and I say, "no problem." What I really mean is... http://img443.imageshack.us/img443/1390/funnyanimals18ts6.jpg

I guess my html skills are rusty. I tried to link to my blog, so I wouldn't have to rewrite the story. The gist: sent for husband's eyes only picture to friend instead. Yeah, it was a low point and very confusing for my friend.

It wasn't an email. It was a text.

You could go with 2. a. Calling you Barb OR Babs (this hasn't happened?) in the salutation (I was going to go with Dear BPo), and #5. Referral Tease: "Everyone who has read it, loves it, just ask my mom and husband": DRINK.

Way too many of these apply to me - and I was really sure I was young and hip. Who IS Judd Apatow?

Every time I read one of your posts, I sort of just stare at it for a minute afterward, wondering what happened. Was it the shoes? Was it Ruth Buzzi? Oh, wait, no, the point was the -cipation. Speaking of which, I am ANTI-cipating spring. I have kidnapped the fairy to keep her safe from you and to let old man winter keep his grip on the current weather. Enjoy Florida (better you than me - a childhood there was enough).

What?! I'm just finishing up my edgy YA coming of age story entitled FOR BARBARA POELLE BY JAMES PATTERSON (my name appears in -.5 font on the bottom). Back to the drawing board...

I can't imagine withdrawing my manuscript for any reason. To put it eloquently, that's just stupid. Let me just say though, you're not fooling anyone. Even if you spend days floating in Polish vodka, your work ethic has been lauded by others, namely that sharky lady (we don't say her name out loud; she may hear us).

I'm with you, Carla. Tuesdays make me happy. It's the only blog I will continue to follow when I finally return to sanity and give up this writing thing. It's the mystery that keeps me here (why did they have to leave NOW? Who is Perrrry, and where's the video?).

Happy Holidays, Barbara. And Inga, take heart, she'll probably return to let you out of the slush pile closet after the 1st of the year.

Hey Inga, glad you made it back. I thought perhaps your absence suggested inpatient counseling.

From Covet, J.R. Ward "And the furniture...Christ, the sofas and chairs looked like jewelry with all of their gold leafing and gemstone-colored silk." I would have underlined it if it wasn't a library book because I thought it was a perfect description, like jewelry. The one word said it all. Glad to hear Princess has recovered physically and emotionally.

"You're in the boat with Fredo!" hahahahahahaha

If it makes you feel any better, I set my cat on fire a few years ago. He was fine, too, and managed to live a long, happy cat life afterward. I admire you for finding a lesson in the flames. I, on the other hand, simply decided to no longer use tapered candles at the dinner table.

Nuns, firefighters, and chefs, oh my! This should have been a photo essay. WHERE ARE THE PICTURES?

I just love Tuesdays. Thanks for making me laugh. The trademarking of your Turkey Trot really had me going. Happy Thanksgiving.

I read your posts weekly and feel compelled to comment. Sadly, after reading, I am struck dumb and am only capable of gaping at the computer, mouth open. All I really want to say is.....hahahahahahahahahahaha (really loudly). Thanks for making me laugh out loud.

Your point about saying thank you was right on. It's always appreciated.