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Laminated otters?
Whut? nvrmnd
Commented Apr 4, 2010 on COLORADO SPRINGS ADVISORY at Dave Barry's Blog
COLORADO SPRINGS ADVISORY
There's an otter on the lam. (Thanks to Claire Martin)
I think everyone is misinterpreting the sign. It's obviously alerting prostitutes that there are rich transvestites with large purses in the area.
Commented Apr 4, 2010 on MOTORISTS OF ITALY: at Dave Barry's Blog
MOTORISTS OF ITALY:
Be on the lookout. (Thanks to catmanmax and Ralph)
*not going to click, no no no* *hides in corner with cindy*
Commented Apr 4, 2010 on WAIT... THEY HAVE THEIR OWN STALL? at Dave Barry's Blog
WAIT... THEY HAVE THEIR OWN STALL?
Maggots caused chaos at Preston's indoor market when they escaped from their stall. (Thanks to Ralph and DavCat)
The casinos are apparently not bidding on this one.
Commented Apr 4, 2010 on MIRACLES UPDATE at Dave Barry's Blog
MIRACLES UPDATE
Now: St. Peter. (Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)
I am going with Siouxie's blue-vomit-alien on this one.
Commented Apr 4, 2010 on MIRACLES UPDATE at Dave Barry's Blog
MIRACLES UPDATE
Now: St. Peter. (Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)
Horace: Marlin Perkins and his trusty sidekick, Jim. Marlin was always somewhere far away from the wildlife: "Now Jim is going to wrestle the 2,000 lb. hippopotamus while surrounded by crocodiles. Good luck, Jim!"
Commented Apr 2, 2010 on WHO SAYS THERE'S NO NIGHTLIFE IN OMAHA? at Dave Barry's Blog
WHO SAYS THERE'S NO NIGHTLIFE IN OMAHA?
Not this blog. (Thanks to Allen at Division)
Why in god's name don't scientists just LEAVE things where they find them?
Commented Mar 30, 2010 on WE'RE GONNA NEED MORE COCKTAIL SAUCE at Dave Barry's Blog
WE'RE GONNA NEED MORE COCKTAIL SAUCE
Yeepers. (Thanks to Siouxie)
I saw this. Very appropriate for Passover - the plague of locusts.
Commented Mar 29, 2010 on FEAR ON THE WESTERN RANGE at Dave Barry's Blog
FEAR ON THE WESTERN RANGE
They're coming. (Thanks to The Perts)
This morron moron must be the same one who inspired Gene Weingarten's column.
Commented Jan 24, 2010 on GUESS HE TOLD YOU, SIR at Dave Barry's Blog
GUESS HE TOLD YOU, SIR
In response to this column, The Blog received an email which said, in its entirety: Here comes YOUR baby, idiot. You're is for you are, as in YOU ARE STUPID!
The Amazing Dave, Anti-Gravity Man.
Commented Jan 23, 2010 on WHO SAYS SOUTH FLORIDA LACKS CULTURE? at Dave Barry's Blog
WHO SAYS SOUTH FLORIDA LACKS CULTURE?
Not this blog.
*snork* @ "BrokeTrek" - bwaahaahaa!
Commented Jan 23, 2010 on THE GOLDEN AGE OF TELEVISION at Dave Barry's Blog
THE GOLDEN AGE OF TELEVISION
He's dead, Jim.
MtB - that is a GOOD movie. They did a great job - really kept the spirit. AND Bruce Greenwood as Capt. Pike :) Enjoy!
Commented Jan 22, 2010 on THE GOLDEN AGE OF TELEVISION at Dave Barry's Blog
THE GOLDEN AGE OF TELEVISION
He's dead, Jim.
Pfff. A thumb? Amateurs. They haven't read "Gerald's Game."
Commented Jan 20, 2010 on BELATED ANALYSIS OF LAST NIGHT'S EPISODE OF 24, WHICH I JUST WATCHED at Dave Barry's Blog
BELATED ANALYSIS OF LAST NIGHT'S EPISODE OF 24, WHICH I JUST WATCHED
Regarding the ending: Whoa.
If you have Firefox then you don't get ANY popups, George.
Commented Jan 20, 2010 on ATTENTION, METRO.CO.UK BIG BROTHER at Dave Barry's Blog
ATTENTION, METRO.CO.UK BIG BROTHER
The Blog may not agree, but it will be a cold day in hell before the s.b. posts another link to your bossy and annoying site. Just fyi.
Not even watching, I have: Taser - check. CTU idiots - check. Jack ear-biting - check. Dead cell phone (ha) - check.
Awesome. Just waitin' on THE AMAZING STEVE a few hundred posts from now.
I will admit to never, ever having watched an episode of 24. After all these years of the blog, I think it would be a disappointment.
Commented Jan 19, 2010 on 24 at Dave Barry's Blog
24
Here is where we stand: Jack had planned to move to Los Angeles with Kim and her family to lead a quiet life, but just as he was about to leave New York and cause the entire season to end in the first 30 minutes, Jack got sucked into a plot to kill the head of the Generic Islamic Republic, Presi...
I'm seeing Bruce Willis, myself.
Commented Jan 19, 2010 on SOON TO BE A MAJOR MOTION PICTURE STARRING, AT MINIMUM, NICOLAS CAGE at Dave Barry's Blog
SOON TO BE A MAJOR MOTION PICTURE STARRING, AT MINIMUM, NICOLAS CAGE
A driver whose SUV plunged into a Northern California creek after he was startled when the hands-free device of his cell phone activated, escaped the sinking vehicle by blasting out the window with a handgun. (Thanks to Mr. Jeff Arch)
News Headline: LSD in Short Supply in Sausalito. "Some freaky dude called Erial bought out the lab, man."
Commented Jan 18, 2010 on MOVE OVER, LEONARD DA VINCI at Dave Barry's Blog
MOVE OVER, LEONARD DA VINCI
Celestial Soul Portraits (Thanks to Chuck Cody)
Awww, poor doggy!
Commented Jan 18, 2010 on HERE BOY! NO, WAIT! GO AWAY, BOY! at Dave Barry's Blog
HERE BOY! NO, WAIT! GO AWAY, BOY!
(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)
I *heart* Steve.
Commented Jan 18, 2010 on 24 SEASON PREMIERE at Dave Barry's Blog
24 SEASON PREMIERE
Here is where we stand: Last season, there were many developments in what we like to call the "plot." The main one was of course that the White House was taken over by terrorist frogpersons. That was definitely the highlight of the season, and possibly of all human history. Other than that, we ...
Gah! *shudder*
Nuclear weapons would be appropriate in this situation.
Commented Jan 11, 2010 on AS IF WE DON'T HAVE ENOUGH TROUBLE OVER THERE WITH YEMEN at Dave Barry's Blog
AS IF WE DON'T HAVE ENOUGH TROUBLE OVER THERE WITH YEMEN
With a lanky legspan of up to nearly a half foot, a newly discovered spider species is the largest among its family of arachnids in the Middle East. (Thanks to jon harris)
It is just a matter of time before Disney buys the rights to "Sophie the Lizard Princess."
Commented Jan 10, 2010 on FROZEN WALKWAY LIZARD UPDATE at Dave Barry's Blog
FROZEN WALKWAY LIZARD UPDATE
Sophie went out to check on the lizard. She thought it might be dead, so she touched it. It flipped right over. But it still wasn't moving much, so Sophie decided to warm it up with a blanket. She is now basically mothering this lizard. I plan to claim it as a dependent for tax purposes.
Steve Martin must be involved in this somehow.
Commented Jan 6, 2010 on IT'S TIME FOR A FEDERAL BAN at Dave Barry's Blog
IT'S TIME FOR A FEDERAL BAN
Thirty-three-year-old Joseph Stancato of Denver faces second-degree assault charges after allegedly hitting another man upside the head with his banjo on New Year's Eve. (Thanks to Claire Martin)
Welcome back from Pluto. Looks like Lucy didn't end up with a wounded tail while you were away.
Commented Jan 3, 2010 on HOME at Dave Barry's Blog
HOME
We're back in Miami, where everybody is freaking out because the temperature is IN THE FIFTIES. But as far as we're concerned, all is well: We're out of the snow, the sun is shining, and Lucy has her truck back.
Good morning. A new year, a brand-spanking new Dave-a-Day calendar on my desk, and coffee.
Bet it all goes downhill from here.
Commented Jan 1, 2010 on HAPPY NEW YEAR, II at Dave Barry's Blog
HAPPY NEW YEAR, II
Everybody stay safe tonight. Especially if you live in Miami, where it's traditional to ring in the new year by shooting firearms into the air. While riding on a chairlift today, I got to talking about Miami with two snowboard dudes, and I told them about this tradition, and they were like, "Who...
If that's Pluto, then book me on the next space shuttle. Really beautiful out there, Dave!
Commented Dec 31, 2009 on HAPPY NEW YEAR, II at Dave Barry's Blog
HAPPY NEW YEAR, II
Everybody stay safe tonight. Especially if you live in Miami, where it's traditional to ring in the new year by shooting firearms into the air. While riding on a chairlift today, I got to talking about Miami with two snowboard dudes, and I told them about this tradition, and they were like, "Who...
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