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Amber
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I have to say that it does feel good to know I'm not alone in dealing with these issues. It is easy to get discouraged when you want to have to sex or be intimate with that special someone and you feel them pulling away and you can't do anything to stop it. But, I have found that never giving up on yourself, your relationship or them is the key. I could have easily walked away and found someone to be with when things got difficult [believe me, there were offers], but I am committed to being with this man I'm in love with and want more than [just sex], because yes, you still get the rush -- but it's not the same as having that with someone you love. So, don't give up!
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To those of you who have written that you want you're partner/husband to be having more sex or at all and having the intimacy back in your relationship, I know what that's like. My boyfriend and I have been together going on 12 years, which doesn't sound like a lot, we live in separate households [his choice], and over the years, we've had a great sex life and intimacy, but it's diminished more and more, until about a year ago, when I found out that a woman he was seeing at the beginning of our relationship was still in the picture and not only that, she was married [4th husband], well, to make a long story short, she called me as she found my name and number and told me that she had been having an affair why my partner for several years, even after she married her fourth husband. Once, my boyfriend, knew I knew, his affections [in every way, backed off or stopped completely]. He had no reason for this and said he loved, was still attracted to me and wanted to be with me. But every time I talked to the other woman, she told me how amazing their sex life was and still is. She said she told her husband too, but had no plans of leaving or my boyfriend. Well, just when I thought things were hopeless and I was ready to give up and walk away, she finally exited the picture, because she was unhappy that my boyfriend and I were having sex and sleeping in his bed [where he and she were having sex too]...can you believe that! Anyways, she's been gone for a couple of months now, even called her recently to confirm that she was and planned on staying gone from our lives. I've had many heart to heart talks with my boyfriend about this, as it's difficult to get that trust back. He even stopped having sex with me for the last two month since she's been gone. But, I'm hoping after our last conversation things will finally be getting back on track. We've started having sex again and his affections are slowly coming back, but it's still feels mechanical. It's a start though and everything has to start somewhere...
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