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Ooh, a battery powered Sawsall. I think that woman saw an episode of CSI.
Commented Oct 7, 2012 on LEGAL ARGUMENT OF THE WEEK SO FAR at Dave Barry's Blog
LEGAL ARGUMENT OF THE WEEK SO FAR
During the sentencing, Renee Bishop’s attorney said she was not a bad person and questioned whether the attack was a serious attempt of murder, because her use of weapons, which included a heavy mallet, reciprocating saw and hatchet, were not effective. (Thanks to B'game)
Ewwww. That cannot be unseen.
Commented Oct 2, 2012 on 'THRIFTINESS' IS ONE WORD FOR IT at Dave Barry's Blog
'THRIFTINESS' IS ONE WORD FOR IT
A woman who saves money by not using toilet roll, takes thriftiness to a whole different level in an upcoming series of Extreme Cheapskates. (Thanks to Craig Roberts)
I bet if they had him stuffed, no one would know the difference, He wore those terminator glasses everywhere.
Commented Dec 21, 2011 on ONE LAST LOOK BACK... at Dave Barry's Blog
ONE LAST LOOK BACK...
...at Kim Jong-Il looking at things. (Thanks to Gregg in Austin)
Arthur Herk starts training them young.
Commented Nov 8, 2011 on AS LONG AS THERE ARE NO CARP INVOLVED, WE'RE FINE WITH IT at Dave Barry's Blog
AS LONG AS THERE ARE NO CARP INVOLVED, WE'RE FINE WITH IT
Fathers and sons traditionally bond over a shared experience -- hunting, fishing, playing catch -- but it's highly unusual for that familial moment to involve sucking on a dead man's toes. (Thanks to Matt Filar)
Here in Mass, Great Woods/Tweeter Center has a policy that they will only take Drivers Licenses and Liquor ID's, no Mass State photo ID's. Being that I do not drive, (By choice) and do not need a Liquor ID, (every store near me knows me) I cannot drink at the one concert I see there every year. It is sad to have to be the only sober parrot head.
Commented Nov 2, 2011 on YOU CAN'T BE TOO CAREFUL at Dave Barry's Blog
YOU CAN'T BE TOO CAREFUL
92-year-old refused alcohol because of lack of ID (Thanks to The Perts, Jeff Meyerson and Loudmouth)
They also make a wonderful Pate.
Commented Aug 1, 2011 on HUH at Dave Barry's Blog
HUH
Alligators do not make good pets (Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)
Judi took that spammer and booted it.
Commented Jul 29, 2011 on FUN SUMMER READ at Dave Barry's Blog
FUN SUMMER READ
Blood and Tissue Spatter Associated with Chainsaw Dismemberment (Thanks to Chris Knight)
Reminds me of this.
http://www.kcra.com/r/2517183/detail.html
Commented Jul 12, 2011 on THEY WOULDN'T HAVE GOTTEN FAR WITHOUT EXACT CHANGE at Dave Barry's Blog
THEY WOULDN'T HAVE GOTTEN FAR WITHOUT EXACT CHANGE
Police nab runaway elephants at bus stop (Thanks to RussellMc)
I can't help but wonder, what important legislation they are not working on because of this crap.
Commented Jul 11, 2011 on BECAUSE WE CAN'T HAVE TOO MANY WARNINGS at Dave Barry's Blog
BECAUSE WE CAN'T HAVE TOO MANY WARNINGS
Like cigarettes and alcohol, sippy cups may soon be required to carry a warning label in New York state. The danger? Childhood tooth decay. (Thanks to The Perts)
First Happy Meals, now pets, and I heard last night that they are going to try to ban ALL fast food sales to children. Good Effing Grief
Commented Jun 28, 2011 on DRUGS AND STREET DEFECATION WILL REMAIN LEGAL at Dave Barry's Blog
DRUGS AND STREET DEFECATION WILL REMAIN LEGAL
San Francisco considers banning the sale of all pets (Thanks to Mark Schlesinger)
OMG Steve, one of my favorite John Denver tunes. Thaaaaaaaaaaaank you, I need to find that disc now.
Commented Jun 23, 2011 on YOU ARE NOW FREE TO INSERT YOUR FOOT DEEP INTO YOUR MOUTH at Dave Barry's Blog
YOU ARE NOW FREE TO INSERT YOUR FOOT DEEP INTO YOUR MOUTH
The pilot, a captain whose name the airline declined to disclose, had his cockpit microphone switched to an air-traffic frequency while he complained to his first officer about what he viewed as slim dating pickings among the Chicago-based flight attendants with whom he flew for four weeks. (Tha...
I don't know, I would have tried 911 first.
Commented Jun 21, 2011 on CSI: FREDERICK at Dave Barry's Blog
CSI: FREDERICK
Frederick Man Says He Fired Gun To Get Help After Fish Hook Stuck In Butt (Thanks to Peter Metrinko)
Shouldn't that be Octopi?
Commented Jun 21, 2011 on SPORTING NEWS THAT STANDS ON ITS OWN WITHOUT COMMENTARY at Dave Barry's Blog
SPORTING NEWS THAT STANDS ON ITS OWN WITHOUT COMMENTARY
Octopuses limber up for Women's World Cup (Thanks to Ralph K.)
I see the connection though, she needed the scented roll holders to mask the smell of the I.B.S. since they took away the pills she wasn't supposed to have.
Commented May 6, 2011 on THOSE THINGS ARE WORTH A FORTUNE ON THE STREET at Dave Barry's Blog
THOSE THINGS ARE WORTH A FORTUNE ON THE STREET
A Bangor woman was arrested about noon Tuesday on charges of violating the conditions of her release from a prior arrest, unlawful possession of scheduled drugs and theft after she allegedly attempted to steal two scented toilet paper holders from a Family Dollar store. (Thanks to Chuck Cody)
Snork @ Sandy. Took me a minute, but I got it.
Commented May 3, 2011 on THIS IS EXACTLY HOW YOU GET A VIRUS at Dave Barry's Blog
THIS IS EXACTLY HOW YOU GET A VIRUS
Japanese boffins build internet kissing machine (Thanks to Janice Gelb and John Gregg)
Now I need to dig out my Dr Demento album for "Wet Dream." Thanks Annie
Commented Apr 21, 2011 on SOON WE WILL HAVE NO FUNDAMENTAL HUMAN RIGHTS LEFT at Dave Barry's Blog
SOON WE WILL HAVE NO FUNDAMENTAL HUMAN RIGHTS LEFT
Complaints end goldfish racing at Wash. state bar (Thanks to Mark Schlesinger)
Actually "They" are raising them, my wife and I have cats.
Commented Apr 19, 2011 on THEY'RE ALSO TAKING A HARD LOOK AT NAPPING at Dave Barry's Blog
THEY'RE ALSO TAKING A HARD LOOK AT NAPPING
ALBANY - State bureaucrats have identified a potentially deadly hazard facing our children this summer - freeze tag. That's right, officials have decided the age-old street game - along with Wiffle Ball, kickball and dodgeball - poses a "significant risk of injury." (Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)
Most of what I did as a kid would have had me taken away from my parents today. We are raising a bunch of sissies.
Commented Apr 19, 2011 on THEY'RE ALSO TAKING A HARD LOOK AT NAPPING at Dave Barry's Blog
THEY'RE ALSO TAKING A HARD LOOK AT NAPPING
ALBANY - State bureaucrats have identified a potentially deadly hazard facing our children this summer - freeze tag. That's right, officials have decided the age-old street game - along with Wiffle Ball, kickball and dodgeball - poses a "significant risk of injury." (Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)
And then the state wonders why the children get fat. Oh wait, blame Happy Meals™
Commented Apr 19, 2011 on THEY'RE ALSO TAKING A HARD LOOK AT NAPPING at Dave Barry's Blog
THEY'RE ALSO TAKING A HARD LOOK AT NAPPING
ALBANY - State bureaucrats have identified a potentially deadly hazard facing our children this summer - freeze tag. That's right, officials have decided the age-old street game - along with Wiffle Ball, kickball and dodgeball - poses a "significant risk of injury." (Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)
Where do I send my campaign donation?
Commented Apr 1, 2011 on MAYBE NOT DEATH. MAYBE LIFE IN PRISON. NEXT TO A REALLY CRAPPY SPEAKER THAT CAN'T BE TURNED OFF. at Dave Barry's Blog
MAYBE NOT DEATH. MAYBE LIFE IN PRISON. NEXT TO A REALLY CRAPPY SPEAKER THAT CAN'T BE TURNED OFF.
Dear Dave, I have long been a supporter of your campaign against people on cell phones who SHOUT. Today I was introduced to a new group of Cell Phone Jerks while I was in a restaurant. As I was alone and didn't want to take up a table, I sat myself at the bar next to three ladies on their lunch...
Didn't Hiaasen predict this in his last book?
Life imitates art.
Commented Mar 25, 2011 on THIS WAY SHE CAN SIGN INTO REHAB FASTER at Dave Barry's Blog
THIS WAY SHE CAN SIGN INTO REHAB FASTER
Lindsay Lohan plans to drop last name to be identified only by her single moniker, says mom Dina (Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)
oh, and ICK ICK ICK.
Commented Feb 24, 2011 on WE'LL JUST HAVE COFFEE, THANKS at Dave Barry's Blog
WE'LL JUST HAVE COFFEE, THANKS
'Baby Gaga' breast milk ice-cream goes on sale (Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)
one thing I find confusing, the term "breast milk" correct me if I am wrong, but doesn't all milk come from breasts?
Commented Feb 24, 2011 on WE'LL JUST HAVE COFFEE, THANKS at Dave Barry's Blog
WE'LL JUST HAVE COFFEE, THANKS
'Baby Gaga' breast milk ice-cream goes on sale (Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)
Criterion collection DVD all the way. awesome movie. But, did the studio give the OK on this statue?
Commented Feb 18, 2011 on ART UPDATE at Dave Barry's Blog
ART UPDATE
RoboCop wins: Group raises $50k for Detroit statue
I really want to know why this is considered news.
Commented Feb 16, 2011 on LUNCH MONEY at Dave Barry's Blog
LUNCH MONEY
Several Volusia County Sheriff's deputies were called out to Timbercrest Elementary School Tuesday morning after a school official noticed a student was holding what seemed to be a $1 million bill. (Thanks to Chuck Cody)
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