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After years of encouraging its staff and students to invent the future, Virginia Tech scientists have succeeded in doing just that. “It’s a great day for tomorrow!” said university spokesperson, Walter Middleman, quoting the school’s new slogan. Who invented the future? “Some graduate students messing around with physics and doughnuts. I don’t know, really. That’s not what’s important. They’re history. We’re already implementing fast-forward reductions in personal on this and the first to go was them.” What does the future look like? “Teachers have been eliminated in the future. Meanwhile, administrators have quadrupled and researchers are actually breeding each other... Continue »