and yet I can't help but use the word "hate" when it comes to the Miami Heat and the "big" (cough-cough) three. I've had to exercise enormous restraint form posting my vitriolic disdain on FB. No, really. I've not yet decided whether or not to set up a separate FB page for business purposes, and I'm constantly worried about that my true persona will alienate potential clients and customers. And yet....I HATE what the heat have become. I HATE lebron james's public persona. I HATE that the nba encourages his "holier than thou" attitude. I HATE that dwayne wade has... Continue reading

In my last post, I talked about beginning anew, and the very day next day, I chanced upon Chris Gardner's second book entitled "Start Where You Are". Just last summer, I had the wonderful opportunity to hear Chris speak about his first book "The Pursuit of Happyness" and then to meet him briefly afterwords. So between that bit of history and the title practically screaming my name, I checkid it out. Although I'm only a couple chapters in, I'm enjoying his "tellin' it like it is" style. It's a good read, relevant to where I'm at right now, and I'm... Continue reading

After a year of silence, I'm giving this another shot, if nothing else, as a place and a means to "clear my head" and perhaps gain a better understanding of who I am and how I can be a better me. Sweeping start or silly synopsis, or yes and yes:-) I'm a goof, I know. And if you're reading this, you should know that about me. I can be dead serious, but more often than not, I am given to serious thoughts interspersed with random silly interjections. It's the boy in me that refuses to grow up or grow old.... Continue reading

Two incidents occured this morning that have me stopping to consider how I perceive and react to the world around me. My thirteen year old son is in the midst of a transitional period in life, and it is evident (sometimes painfully so) that he doesn't fully comprehend what's happening to and around him. As he goes through his growth spurts, he's swung from wanting to be cradled by his mom to being annoyed that we actually require him to say goodnight to us. This morning, I made a real breakfast for the kids, something normally reserved for weekends. With... Continue reading

I've had an issue that's been bothering me for a couple years now, and I've finally had enough that I just have to vent about it. For most Catholics, a church is the place to go to not just for mass, but also for personal prayer, solace, and quiet reflection. The church we attend is in a neighborhood where home values start in the high $500,000s, and most are valued at a million plus. The homeowners are, to quote from Nielsen's Zip code demographic website www.claritas.com, " a wealthy suburban world of dual-income couples who are highly educated, typically between... Continue reading

So I'm sitting there going through my not-so-new daily routine. After dropping off the kids, I settle into the basement office and focus on homework for classes, follow up on emails, and checking job boards. Homework alternates between rote and challenging, but is always time-consuming. Emails are a crapshoot, you just never know what's necessary to open, and what to jettison. I usually start by checking off all the the ads, investment solicitations (if they knew my situation, they wouldn't bother, and since they obviouslydon't know, I don't care to even open them) and the rest of the time-wasters, and... Continue reading

We will make time stop For the two of us Make time stop And listen for our sighs I'm referencing the lyrics from an INXS song from the 1992 album Welcome to Wherever You Are. As Tony Kornheiser would say, I'm skewing old. yikes. Jen and I ran away last week; on Saturday we flew to Las Vegas, then drove straight to Zion National Park in Utah for two glorious days. We went back to Vegas Monday night, and flew home on Thursday evening, literally just in time to drive straight to school and pick up Ashleigh from basketball practice.... Continue reading

Sat in a small pub one night this past week and spent a couple hours catching up with two friends I hadn't seen in forever. Truth be told, it was Facebook that sparked the reunion. I was/am a reluctant FB member. I joined initially so that I would have an accurate understanding of the craze that my (at the time) pre-teenage daughter was begging to become a part of. Seemed innocent enough, and there were lots of invitations from friends of long ago and from far away (Hafa Adai!), and it was enjoyable to read up and catch up. Then... Continue reading

An innocuos question that we ask virtually everyone we interact with...and yet, a question that can be ripe with implied (or perceived) meaning, replete with double-entendres for those of us on the unemployed side of the equation. Wow, that's a lot to contemplate for such an innocent, frequently heartfelt question, isn't it? And yet ( at least from my fragile perspective) the query elicits a myriad of possible responses. If it's asked by someone I trust, I receive it as a genuine inquiry into my well-being, and by extent, that of my family. If it's asked by someone I am... Continue reading

I absolutely love waking up to the hushed splendor of a new snow. From my perspective, Mother Nature's frosting lends a calming perspective on the lay of the land, revealing softened edges, glittering frosting caps on anything above ground level, and a smooth, seamless continuity as far as the eye can see. I stare out the window, quietly drinking it all in, wishing I could capture on camera that which my mind's eye appreciates. And then there's the kids. The snow affords a blank canvas for their creative minds; snow angels, snowball fights, and hurling bodies across the powdered land.Whoops... Continue reading

In those darkest of moments that infiltrate my days, it can be quite overwhelming to think about what lies ahead. The uncertainty of not having any viable job oppotunities on the horizon, the staggering speed at which the cost of living simply burns through our bank account, the depth of the shame that sometimes chokes the breath from me. It's during those moments of self-pity that I find myself somehow fighting hardest to overcome the despair. I can vividly recall a near-drowning incident, being pounded by wave after wave, exhausted and clawing my way to the surface, desperate for air,... Continue reading

Being unemployed going into the Christmas holidays was extremely difficult at first; explaining to the kids that this Christmas would be a lean one; the paranoia of wondering what my neighbors must think seeing me at home day in and day out; leaning on faith and courage as I picked up the kids after school, waving to moms who ( I just knew) must have been a tad curious about why I suddenly had the luxury of so much free time. And yet as the days wore on and my paranoia (marginally) diminished, my eyes gradually opened to the wonderful... Continue reading

I had the interesting privelege to volunteer at Avalon (my sons school) today manning the snack table. After collecting the change box and opening up the 8 x 12 room that held the snacks, I followed the detailed instructions: position table in front of door; review and verify items to be sold, post price lists. Five quiet minutes to prepare and then BAM! A boisterous pack of piranhas disguised as boys of all ages, most with manners, all with huge appetites and tremendous energy, swept swiftly past my little doorway. Eager eyes and hungry mouths patiently and quickly took turns... Continue reading

I had a revelation today that was simultaneously insightful and humbling. I've been unemployed for almost three weeks now, and I've roller-coasted through the acceptance of this state of being. I've been euphoric (yay me - I stood up for what's right) and ashamed (what will my kids friends parents think of me). I've also found myself unable to answer the question "what do I want to be when I grow up?" With all of this identity crisis swirling about, I've been reluctant to spend money on updating my resume; no income, no clue about what I'll do next -... Continue reading