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#bridgetbythebridge

London

Anglo-australian bitches about life, unrequited love and ever present drama

Recent Activity

A few months ago, during one of our weekly video chats, Motherbear and I invented the groundbreaking concept of Good Human versus Bad Human. It is based on tried and tested methodology; deep scientific expertise, repeated experiments proving a pattern and the burden of proof beyond any reasonable doubt. I... Continue reading

Posted Jan 22, 2017 at #bridgetbythebridge

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#bridgetbytheclosedforthreemonthsbridge

There has been a lot of noise about just how shit 2016 was. Haaaa Chimaamaa the circle of life, it is a path unwinding, etc. Elton speaks the truth of the ancient Gods…and he is the only one 2016 left alive to act as their earthly messenger. In 2016, very... Continue reading

Posted Dec 31, 2016 at #bridgetbythebridge

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2016 has almost come to an end. I, like many of you, am glad to see the rear end of the year that rear-ended us all. Almost everyone died, almost everyone else voted as if they were dead, and those of us who remain (yes, I did that on purpose),... Continue reading

Posted Dec 23, 2016 at #bridgetbythebridge

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Alt-boring I’ve been quiet these past few weeks; I’ve been busy, I’ve been clocking up intercontinental Avios’s, but mostly I’ve been depressed and defeated. I had nothing to say that someone cleverer or wittier than me hadn’t already said/tweeted/snapped or sung. My Facebook feed was a spiralling toilet roll of... Continue reading

Posted Dec 11, 2016 at #bridgetbythebridge

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Obama says Yes She Can #imwithher Taking a short break from being the busiest, most stressed person in Christendom; I’ve spent a considerable number of hours reading the news. I’ve read the Blue version, I’ve read the Red version and I’ve even read the Green version. I’ve read the Star... Continue reading

Posted Oct 4, 2016 at #bridgetbythebridge

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Where you get to once the Ferry crosses the Mersey “I’m sick of the smell of this fucking shite!” Every member of my immediate family knows this phrase all too well. There is another, slightly less PG-rated one that I’ll refrain from repeating here for fear of offending Motherbear. The... Continue reading

Posted Aug 29, 2016 at #bridgetbythebridge

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I like the colour red. Actually I love the colour red. I love red things, crimson things, scarlet things (even letters) and I really, really love to wear red. Red makes me happy, it is a flaming reflection of me, bright, angry, passionate, in your fucking face and hot. #ofcourseimeantemperaturehot... Continue reading

Posted Aug 27, 2016 at #bridgetbythebridge

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Hunger, while I’ve never experienced it on the same level as many of the least fortunate citizens of our planet, would have to be one of my least favourite sensations. It’s up there with the sphincter clenching terror when first spying a bloody great spider on the cornice, or the... Continue reading

Posted Jul 31, 2016 at #bridgetbythebridge

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Every single day. It feels like every single day we wake up expecting to wipe the sleep from our eyes, scrub off the cobwebs and wander out into the abyss, earn our daily bread and crawl back to bed to recover the spirits then rise up and do it all... Continue reading

Posted Jul 24, 2016 at #bridgetbythebridge

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According to the world’s most erudite source of reference, the Urban Dictionary, a shitstorm is “a course of action that would appear to lead to a good outcome, but when undertaken, leads to a situation that is utterly out of control beyond human comprehension.” …Beyond human comprehension…as in, if actual... Continue reading

Posted Jul 10, 2016 at #bridgetbythebridge

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Not Olympian, Spartan. Sometime late last year while basking in the dying rays of the sunshine of my thirties, I wrote about becoming strong, about taking control of myself and I recounted the propitious aftermath of half a year spent pre-dawn sweating in a gym. Six months later, I’ve taken... Continue reading

Posted Jun 5, 2016 at #bridgetbythebridge

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“Hey there ‘American colleague’, how are you on this fine Friday evening?” “I am genuinely terrified that Donald J Trump is going to be our next President”. So began a lively conversation with a dear friend and co-worker who lives in the US (and not in the homicidal southern bit).... Continue reading

Posted May 30, 2016 at #bridgetbythebridge

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Not Marvel. Not DC. Real SuperHeroes. There is a brilliant programme we get to watch in the UK, 24 Hours in A&E. Actually, thanks to the queer folk in the Channel 4 documentary team, we get to watch some really weird shit, some curiously odd shit, and then some really... Continue reading

Posted Feb 21, 2016 at #bridgetbythebridge

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Fabulous. Fake. False. I’m quite a lucky lady. I’m lucky because I have all my skin and all my bones and all my organs in their rightful places. I’m lucky because I have the love of a Few Good Men, a Gorgeous Girl Squad and a Glitter of Gays; all... Continue reading

Posted Feb 6, 2016 at #bridgetbythebridge

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Something pretty horrible happened over the past month. Two men, men that I had adored since I was a giggling schoolgirl, men who shaped my blossoming adolescent sexuality, men that had very, very sexy voices, men that had very, very dodgy teeth, English men, two brilliantly sexy men, died. David... Continue reading

Posted Jan 31, 2016 at #bridgetbythebridge

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#bridgetandbess

My maternal grandfather, a very serious man whose mind left our earthly plane long before his physical form ever did, named her Snickles. Its a name that evokes her very specific brand of laughter; a smile that crinkles her eyes and nose, a giggle that leaves her mouth in staccato,... Continue reading

Posted Jan 9, 2016 at #bridgetbythebridge

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For regular readers of my adventures in Playland, you will know that I write an annual wrap up a little earlier than most people. I can’t wait until the veritable end of the year; I’ll be far to busy drinking lukewarm White Wine in the blistering sun over Sydney. So... Continue reading

Posted Nov 28, 2015 at #bridgetbythebridge

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A light in the City of Light! “…nothing to kill or die for, and no religion too…” I’ve prevaricated, hesitated and procrastinated. I wasn’t sure whether to write anything. I don’t want to enrage my friends, alienate my colleagues or estrange myself from a few of my closest relatives. But... Continue reading

Posted Nov 15, 2015 at #bridgetbythebridge

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#bridgetandbear

Or, “Jiu Jitsu; a Most Unexpected Romance”. Anyone who’s read anything I’ve ever written here or at parismarisamadonna will by now have gleaned a couple of core facts about me,#bridgetbythebridge. You’ll know that I work really, really hard, all of the time, earning all the money that keeps me (and... Continue reading

Posted Nov 14, 2015 at #bridgetbythebridge

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They say that being a mother is the greatest reward for any and all of the women of earth. Whether she stands tall on an African plain, with a baby strapped around her swollen arms. Whether she is running through Central Park, pushing a tri-wheeled pram ahead of her and... Continue reading

Posted Nov 14, 2015 at #bridgetbythebridge

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#melfie Every family has character traits that bind and tie its unique identity. Perhaps you’re gingers, generation after generation of flame haired beauties nicknamed Bluey? If you were especially lucky in the genetic lottery, you’re the spitting image of Angelina or Brad, so blessed by biology that your cheek bones... Continue reading

Posted Nov 1, 2015 at #bridgetbythebridge

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[This feels like coming out, not that I know what that feels like, but I imagine it feels like I feel right now. #shitscared] Possibly the last time I was truly happy My Father was a man who once lived on earth. Today he doesn’t live anywhere, but I imagine... Continue reading

Posted Oct 24, 2015 at #bridgetbythebridge

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Emily Wilding Davison who died under the King's horse at Epsom Derby My personal trainer, the ever-smiling Bear, that brave man who has transformed me into a slightly wobblier less pornographic version of Ronda Rousey, (my latest girlcrush and I want to be her), has one very annoying habit; he... Continue reading

Posted Oct 17, 2015 at #bridgetbythebridge

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#ohsaycanyounotsee

Every time I’ve ever written about America I get in big trouble. I unleash a litany of criticism about Australia, the former PM was a colossal knobcheese and Australians spend too much time watching grown men punch each other for fun. I spew vitriol upon the sort-of-not-really-United Kingdom, a tiny... Continue reading

Posted Oct 3, 2015 at #bridgetbythebridge

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Dear Tony, Yesterday, our fellow human beings of this earth, those kooky Americans, legally agreed that a man can marry a man, a woman can marry a woman and a man can still marry a woman, even if that woman is a Kardashian. Americans think that pumpkin can be a... Continue reading

Posted Jun 27, 2015 at #bridgetbythebridge

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