The photos are lovely. Yeah, it makes you wonder if the Doctors did any homework at all... Thank God your father is doing well! The small stones are remarkable! But then again you have that gift for writing! Would love to see what you have come up with after thirty days.

Oh, what a sweet post- loved the words and the photos! I certainly don´t know what kind of bird it is but, it sure is pretty!! hugs

Amazing!! Are these from your back yard???

Hello my dear friend! Thank you for stopping by and leaving a comment. These days it helps to know someone is reading what I write... because each word is a mayor effort on my part. If you got goosebumps today wait until WEEK 5 in Spain. Hugs going your way!:)

So true. We do need to keep an eye out for them. I am sure you do the same as I do when there is a family gathering or a special occasion- You look around and take it all in, every person, every detail hoping to be able to remember it forever... And yes, life´s twists and turns exhaust me. Especially now. I am going to to make some changes in my life this year... I need to feel happier. Hugs :)

Yes, they are Fi. And I have many more of that day... and others too of course. Photos bring back so much! Hugs

Dear Barbara, you are so right... I KNOW I am not being punished. However, that is what it FEELS like. At times I think I am split in half between what I think and what I feel. It is very difficult to explain. And then of course, some days I simply accept better what has happened, and others like a few days ago, I find myself looking at men´s shirts and suddenly realize I can´t buy one. It hits me. I can´t buy it. He is gone. Which is odd because I know he is. After all every day, twice a day (going or coming from work) I pass by the building where we lived those five weeks. And every day I SEE the same thing: I see us- Pepe, Raul and I going out the building´s door toward our car... to go to the hospital. The mind is such a delicate thing. We are told that God doesn´t give you anything that you can´t handle. I have often thought of this. As I have thought that if every thing happens for a purpose then... what was the purpose of this in my life? What am I not grasping from this experience? Maybe in a few years I will see things different but, for now I am not understanding anything. I am not mad at God. This happens to people every day and worse! I just don´t understand. The same way I can´t understand why twenty children had to die so tragically las week right before Christmas. I thought about those parents too... and what will happen behind closed doors as they grieve their great loss. Thank you for keeping me in your prayers. I need them and I am very thankful for them. I am thankful for you too! Let´s see how I do writing about the weeks leading up to the 20th of February... Thank you for being a light and being there always for me. Hugs

Dear Fi, thank you for stopping by and leaving a comment. It had been too long. I miss you. Ah, Alonso... I am happy to have him here in Spain with me. He has adjusted well. As far as how I am doing? I am always torn when I try to answer this question because I want to tell the thruth of how I feel... but then opt for a simple ¨well, I am here.¨However, with you I will open up a little. I can´t make plans. There is no use unless I could find a better job. I have no economical security... it´s scary... and I am tired from working so much. I feel very old and just try to get up, work,come home and that is about it and if Sandra doesn´t find a job soon... well... we might not be able to stay in this apartment. It feels like I have been punished and I don´t even know why....

Dear Barbara, you are so right. It's hard going back but, I don't want to forget. But I don´t think I will ever forget, becuase it´s almost been a year and the last month in the States and the five weeks with Pepe are imprinted in my mind. Now after his death, I can say there are black lagoons in my mind... Yes, try the online selling it worked for me! And Jack is a precious little boy now. He is walking already. I never got to meet him. However thanks to facebook I have seen all of his progress... which is very nice. Thanks for stopping by and reading. You are a true friend. Love you.

Don´t enter my blog to leave messages like these!

Gosh, Jen, you have such and exciting life... I can´t believe you saw that sloth. And quite an active one at that! I´ve said it before, YOU LIVE IN PARADISE. Someday I hope to visit this wonderful country and meet you in person too! Hugs.

Thank you my dear friend. The next few post won´t be hard on me... what will be hard are the ones once I arrive in Spain and the ending of the blog with Pepe´s death. THAT will be the toughest, yet it might help me in a way. I miss him so much... being a widow is horrible because you constantly have to show signs of improvement but inside... inside... the sadness does not go away. Hugs.

Hello Jill! If I am in me, then hopefully I´ll find myself one day... I do have to say that I am a little less numb, and I am able to think... well, from time to time, lol! I want to finish this blog and then have it printed for me... and my kids also. Afterall, that was the original idea. Unfortunately, is not the ending I wished for. But... that´s life and that´s our story. Hugs.

Oh, Barbara, you don´t know... it actually made me sick! But I believe it was part of facing his loss in a different way. A big hug for you too all the way from Spain!!