He's the hardest workin' princess around... andtotallystraight. Continue reading

To: Chia June 21, 2010 The other night I got so high. But that’s not the point; the point is that I had a revelation, a real life revelation, and from Yahweh himself! The revelation happened during drive home from a friend’s house. Oddly enough I put this spiritual experience... Continue reading

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To: Chia June 12, 2010 Hey Assface! Did I tell you what I saw today? A guy almost getting run over by a Prius! The guy was so pissed he yelled at the driver, shouting “WATCH IT PIERRE!” …The driver was wearing a beret. It felt very New York-y and... Continue reading

Theme Song: Forever Young....of course it is. Download Prom 2010 Continue reading

To: My Best Friend June 13, 2010 Hey big boy! Oh man, whatta' weekend! First it started off okay, I guess? Nothing too exciting...EXCEPT G came out from New York to pay a visit!!! Can we say exciting?! I think so! We just hung around at home and ordered take-out.... Continue reading

To: My Best Friend June 10, 2010 Hey Douchebag, I figured out what my problem is... Chia, I don't have a clique and I think I need one to survive my thirties. Everyone I know has a clique and I'm more of a "gonna fly solo and see who's doing... Continue reading

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My favorite texts of 2009 and well, some are from 2010 too… To: Badass Cass “Let’s make a non-sexual female date of it, tomorrow!” Insert: Justin Bieber here… ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- To: Blunt “Hey celibate heterosexual, who isn’t affiliated with any faith requires him to be celibate! Let’s hang out!!” “You should... Continue reading

To: My Best Friend June 1, 2010 Chia, As you know you’ve always been my golden girl. Even when you wore those horrible pleated khaki pants and maroon turtleneck, I stuck by you. When isle two was obsessed with you and she’d corner me asking, “did he say anything about... Continue reading

You'll understand the center of my irritability right now, that of course being a lack of sleep... OH! and you need to have Quicktime installed to listen to streaming audio. Download Everyone Gots' a Boblem Continue reading

You will either find this funny or really disturbing... Continue reading

To: My best Friend June 7, 2010 Chia, UGH! Just because I’m nice does not mean I want to fuck you. It just means, I like chattin’ and hanging out. Nor does not mean I’m pining over you or thinking of your face on my vibrator. Seriously do I give... Continue reading

Stan is a Lawyer from Maryland; land of crabs. According to him these are five "good" reasons he should be reader of the month. From the mouth of babes with this classy lad... 5 - Because I actually have a bathroom sex story that beats any all of you have... Continue reading

He comes to from... Well I have no fuckin' clue where he's originally from. What I do know is this: He's a cafeteria Jew, hates living in the city, has a wife who likes Avon products and thinks the greatest thing he's ever read is my post about the baggy... Continue reading

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Oh man, I jammed my toe again! In my bathroom, on the door...AGAIN! Dude, so I was thinking about some things tonight first of them being horrible experiences my friends have faced before and after sex....so I'm going to give highlights of these social misteps as a sort of suggestion,... Continue reading

To: Dead Chef (via Facebook) June 7, 2010 Oh fuck, that does suck. My sister listened to Queesnryche's Silent Lucidity all the time when we were in High School. I fucking wanted to hunt down Geoff Tate and shove an Oboe up his ass. But I lacked the motivation to... Continue reading

What the hell was my Bill Hader look-alike therapist thinking? AND being really, really high causes me to literally laugh out loud in the most abnoxious way. Download Skype Therapy Continue reading

HEY Handsome! You know it's a good day when I start off with a compliment! Man I'm so excited this morning because Driving Ms. Daisy is on TV! I almost bought it at Big Lots but decided against it because I didn't want to be a single thirty-something buying a... Continue reading

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And yet it has nothing to do with Civil Rights. Well, wait...I do mention Obama. Download My dream 06-05-10 Continue reading

Because if you didn't that'd A: Be rude and B: I like it when I can build up my site to what it used to be and C: I might bake you something. Continue reading

Download June 4th is not the 4th of July The naked vulnerability Gavin likes to talk about. Not so drunk here but really, really high. Continue reading