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Angela Wheelock
Vancouver, British Columbia
I am a writer, trauma survivor and caregiver living in Vancouver with my husband, 17 year old son and a too-smart-for-her-own-good orange cat. Here I am in happier days.
Interests: friends, music, singing, poetry, walking, reading, the environment, mindfulness, qi gong, yoga
Recent Activity
There is a crack in everything. That's how the light gets in. Leonard Cohen Kitsugi ( The Japanese have a beautiful term for mending broken pottery. Kintsukuroi or Kintsugi literally means "to repair with gold." It refers to the practice of repairing beloved pots with gold or silver lacquer. The... Continue reading
Posted Aug 10, 2013 at Life after Trauma
Sometimes you need to press pause to let everything sink in. Sebastian Vettel watering flowers (Christopher Craig, flickr creative commons) Tomorrow, I will have been home for two weeks. I spent the first week regrouping and resting. This week, I got more done, but always in the back of my... Continue reading
Posted Aug 1, 2013 at The Caregiver Chronicles
They say everything can be replaced/Yet every distance is not near Bob Dylan Return to sender (Donovan Beeson, flickr creative commons) When I got back from a recent trip, I didn't check the mail for a few days. When I did, I found the card that I'd sent to my... Continue reading
Posted Jul 26, 2013 at Life after Trauma
There is peace in a garden. Peace and results. Ruth Stout after weeding (elaine faith, flickr creative commons) About two weeks into my visit, things fell apart. My sister, who holds the POA (power of attorney) for my parents decided to move my mother into a foster home - adult... Continue reading
Posted Jul 22, 2013 at The Caregiver Chronicles
Hold a true friend with both hands. African proverb friendship, flickr creative commons Today, is my mother's 79th birthday. It was also the day that her long-time friend, Lois, came to visit. Mom and Lois go back a long ways - a very long ways. By my reckoning, they've been... Continue reading
Posted Jul 7, 2013 at The Caregiver Chronicles
Each day provides its own gifts. Marcus Aurelius Fourth of July, fireworks (Wikimedia Commons) Today, was the 4th of July. In the morning, I thought I could hear the sounds of a marching band wafting over from the downtown parade. Last night, there were non-stop firecrackers being set off around... Continue reading
Posted Jul 4, 2013 at The Caregiver Chronicles
Eighty percent of success is showing up. Woody Allen Emergency Room Recently, I spent 11 hours with my dad in the hospital. Ironically, even though I'd come for my mother's birthday and because she was supposedly dying, my dad was the one who ended up being REALLY sick. On the... Continue reading
Posted Jun 22, 2013 at The Caregiver Chronicles
Hi Val, Sorry to hear your story. Yes, sometimes we have to lose others to be who we are and respect ourselves. And, yes, its sad, but I admire your courage. Perhaps, over time, something may change for you. I hope so. Sadly, people can be blind to the love and true quality of those nearest to them. Take good care, Angela
The afternoon knows what the morning never suspected. Robert Frost Old woman, Niklas, flickr creative commons Today, I continued my preparations for my trip home to be with my dying mother. Just to write those words hurts. Even though she has been old and frail for quite a while now,... Continue reading
Posted Jun 14, 2013 at The Caregiver Chronicles
The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place. George Bernard Shaw Frustration (Wikimedia Commons) I bet this has happened to you. You phone your aging parent(s) and they tell you something that concerns you, in fact it upsets you. Maybe, they say, your sister/brother... Continue reading
Posted Jun 9, 2013 at The Caregiver Chronicles
There is a time for everything/a time to be born and a time to die/a time to plant and a time to uproot/a time to mourn and a time to dance/a time to keep and a time to throw away/a time to be silent and a time to speak. from... Continue reading
Posted Jun 6, 2013 at Life after Trauma
Every day is a journey and the journey itself is home. Matsuo Basho Older man, photo by Peppe Gaeta, flickr creative commons (I've been away for awhile, as I imagine some readers have noticed. My personal problems are still looming, but I thought it was time to get back to... Continue reading
Posted May 25, 2013 at The Caregiver Chronicles
Hi Sonya, Thank you. Did you include a link to your blog? I didnt see one. Thanks again for your feedback. Ive been, as you may have noticed, not writing my blog lately due to a[nother] family crisis. Angela
Hi Nicolai, Thank you for the support! Angela
Toggle Commented Mar 9, 2013 on Keeping vigil at Life after Trauma
Hi Billie, Yes, it is a sad story. Im so sorry to hear that they didnt tell you about your mother. Sometimes, it is hard to imagine what goes through peoples minds! My mother comes from a family of 12 and even though everyone isnt best friends, only one of the 12 became estranged from the family. Sometimes, too, I know from experience that any sort of traumatic events in a family such as suicide, substance abuse, or mental health issues can certainly add to the risk of estrangement. Best of luck and thank you for sharing your story. Angela
Hi Shardy, Sure, no problem. The more people who read this the better. Angela
turning toward what you deeply love saves you Rumi woman reading, Renoir (Wikimedia Commons) My therapist emailed me several days ago, after I'd emailed her, frustrated with how things are going. "Be gentle with yourself," she told me. Good advice. But how often do we follow it? I've been trying... Continue reading
Posted Jan 25, 2013 at Breathing Space
The only joy in the world is to begin. Cesare Pavese Sweeping woman, Penelope Dullaghan ( Yesterday afternoon, my best friend came over to help me get a start on cleaning my now singular bedroom. I thought it would be harder than it was, but my therapist was right, having... Continue reading
Posted Jan 20, 2013 at Breathing Space
Somehow we survive and tenderness, frustrated, does not wither. Dennis Brutus fly away (Billie Hara, flickr) Two weeks and two days ago, my husband moved out. We're trying a "trial" separation, which is supposed to last for three months. Despite the fact that we're in couples counseling, I'm not terribly... Continue reading
Posted Jan 18, 2013 at Life after Trauma
bird's nest (annahesser, flickr) After what I thought was a reasonably good visit to my parents in August, disaster struck. Not them; me. My husband has moved out and I am now living in our home with my 18-year-old son who has started university and our cat. Our "trial separation"... Continue reading
Posted Jan 18, 2013 at The Caregiver Chronicles
There comes the strangest moment in your life, when everything you thought before you breaks free - what you relied upon as ground-rule and as rite looks upside down from how it used to be. Kate Light the unmade bed, Imogene Cunningham ( My husband moved out two weeks and... Continue reading
Posted Jan 18, 2013 at Breathing Space
Hi Lorraine, Thank you so much for your comment and support. I still havent heard from my daughter and its been over 2 years. I follow your blog and know your story and I realize how much weve all gone through, and I do mean all: first parents, children, adoptive parents. What a toxic practice adoption is. I have been dealing with other issues and let my blog slide lately. I will try to get back to posting there. Peace to you too, Angela
letting go (flickr creative commons) We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. Joseph Campbell Tonight is both New Year's Eve and the eve of my husband moving out. Our 18-year-old son and our cat are staying... Continue reading
Posted Dec 31, 2012 at Breathing Space
Even if you remember a spark of the flame, that's enough. Even if you remember one face, it would be enough. Elie Wiesel Elie Wiesel ( In Conversations With Elie Wiesel, by Elie Wiesel and Richard Heffner, Wiesel talks about why trauma survivors should tell their stories. Elie Wiesel, a... Continue reading
Posted Nov 12, 2012 at Life after Trauma
Be not afraid of growing slowly. Be afraid of only standing still. Chinese proverb Sunrise (alternatangle, flickr) Two visits to my therapist Last week my husband and I both went to see my therapist - on separate occasions. Partly, she doesn't do couples counselling, partly we wanted to talk to... Continue reading
Posted Oct 31, 2012 at Life after Trauma